Do you think men and women can just be 'friends'?

[Richie]

Can they? I have watched videos of people being asked the question in public and the majority reply with no. Normally it's the girls that agree they can. Personally, I believe a man and woman can be friends once the friendship isn't too close I.E ah come round my house after the club if you can't get home, you can stay at mine.

[buttons]

it's hard to say. i've had 3 best male friends in the past. all 3 friendships fell apart because i didn't like them anymore than that. i find that happens often and i can't just have a male friend to talk to, once you tell them everything and bond one of you will end up developing feelings in my experience, or thinking that you like them. i had that sorta experience just recently - he was an old childhood friend so we were pretty close meeting up, talking about life not love or sex etc. we'd talk about who we like and give each other relationship advice but then he told me he liked me and it all went downhill >.< i couldn't go to a guys house after a club unless i fancied them (doesn't mean i'm gonna do anything ;l) or they were gay lol i think there will always be that element of "what if" or one person will at least wonder what it'd be like to be more than friends. i don't necessarily mean they actually fancy the other person just that they wonder about it. most of my male friends i've either liked at some point but we get along better as friends or we've just been friends but ended up more. not sure about anyone else. you can definitely be friends until you start actually getting in deep. then again i fancy literally anyone that is hot/listens to me ;l but they dont usually last that long then we just become friends or nothing lol ;l

[Richie]

it's hard to say. i've had 3 best male friends in the past. all 3 friendships fell apart because i didn't like them anymore than that. i find that happens often and i can't just have a male friend to talk to, once you tell them everything and bond one of you will end up developing feelings in my experience, or thinking that you like them. i had that sorta experience just recently - he was an old childhood friend so we were pretty close meeting up, talking about life not love or sex etc. we'd talk about who we like and give each other relationship advice but then he told me he liked me and it all went downhill >.< i couldn't go to a guys house after a club unless i fancied them (doesn't mean i'm gonna do anything ;l) or they were gay lol i think there will always be that element of "what if" or one person will at least wonder what it'd be like to be more than friends. i don't necessarily mean they actually fancy the other person just that they wonder about it. most of my male friends i've either liked at some point but we get along better as friends or we've just been friends but ended up more. not sure about anyone else. you can definitely be friends until you start actually getting in deep.


haha my childish side has won yet again


I wonder if it would be awkward for a girl to invite their lesbian friend around to sleepover after a night out. That doesn't sound bad but if it's guys it sounds ten times worse in my opinion.

[Rozi]

haha my childish side has won yet again


I wonder if it would be awkward for a girl to invite their lesbian friend around to sleepover after a night out. That doesn't sound bad but if it's guys it sounds ten times worse in my opinion.

that's a completely different situation :S Asking if a men and woman can be "just friends" implies they're both straight so it's plausible for them to have a relationship, but the "lesbian friend" acknowledges that you're not attracted to women so there's very littlepossibilityof going further than friends (unless you're both very pissed).


Also erm not really sure. Don't think it's possible to be 'best friends' but yeah, ofc you can be just friends with a guy in a friendship group.

[Neversoft]

I must be missing something, because I think this question is absolutely stupid. Tell me, why on earth couldn't a man and a woman be friends with each other? Why does gender matter? People are people.

[wixard]

i don't think they can
one or the other will have feelings/sexual attraction for the other at SOME POINT

so wait, they can be friends but there will always be that element of attraction for one or the other, or in some cases both.

[-:Undertaker:-]

Yes they can, just as homosexual males can be friends with hetrosexual males.

Next question!

[MizzBex]

I think they can, I've got guy friends who are nothing more and we really don't see each other that way! There's no reason why it can't stay that way!

[luce]

I must be missing something, because I think this question is absolutely stupid. Tell me, why on earth couldn't a man and a woman be friends with each other? Why does gender matter? People are people.

that's what got me as well? I have had male friends all my life sometimes more than girls and it's literally been that, just friends. I don't get people, personally, who don't think they can be friends. Also im not getting involved in the whole what if they're gay debate becausepersonallyI don't think it makes any difference unless you let it make a difference.

However of course the friendships will be different because guys and girls are different but there can still be a friendship nonetheless.

[Neversoft]

that's what got me as well? I have had male friends all my life sometimes more than girls and it's literally been that, just friends. I don't get people, personally, who don't think they can be friends. Also im not getting involved in the whole what if they're gay debate becausepersonallyI don't think it makes any difference unless you let it make a difference.

However of course the friendships will be different because guys and girls are different but there can still be a friendship nonetheless.

Certainly, though I don't think I agree with your last bit. Stereotypically, males and females are different, but gender is just a social construct, nothing more, nothing less. And if you can look beyond that, there shouldn't be any reason for a friendship to be 'different' because of gender, as it's as you say; it doesn't make any difference unless you make it a difference. It's completely natural for a man and a woman to be friends, just as it is to be friends with your own gender.

[Mathew]

Silly question lol, of course they can. :P Not everyone has sex and relationships on their brain 24/7! One of my closest friends is a female and I wouldn't dream of it going any further.

[FlyingJesus]

Even if they're hot how does finding someone attractive mean that you can't be friends with them? It's a stupid question that men often say "no" to in order to look manly and sexual

[wixard]

you guys are being naive
have you never heard of the ladder theory?

http://www.laddertheory.com/

[FlyingJesus]

Yeah dialogues from comedy films are totes reliable sources of complex psychology

[luce]

Certainly, though I don't think I agree with your last bit. Stereotypically, males and females are different, but gender is just a social construct, nothing more, nothing less. And if you can look beyond that, there shouldn't be any reason for a friendship to be 'different' because of gender, as it's as you say; it doesn't make any difference unless you make it a difference. It's completely natural for a man and a woman to be friends, just as it is to be friends with your own gender.

to some extent it's a social construct but there isextensiveresearch being done that shows that the male and female brains arefundamentally, biologically,different. There is strong links with levels of prenatal testosterone but without going into it I believe it forms enough of a difference to make it a problem. Also there are example of someone I know who is the only boy in a family of 9 children and a mum and he still knew how to behave ie not liking shopping etc without being told he "shouldn't".

[wixard]

Yeah dialogues from comedy films are totes reliable sources of complex psychology

it's hardly a source, its to add humour to the website and poke fun at people with a mindset like you before he begins with the theory

[J0SH]

Friends with benefits of course.

[FlyingJesus]

Ladder theory is all based on a massively wrong preconception from the very off (nice charts (http://www.laddertheory.com/images/1chart-mw.gif)), and also assumes that attraction between friends will always damage the relationship without ever actually explaining why. My best friend is totes fit and yeah if she wanted to of course I'd get with her, but that changes nothing about the friendship as I know we're not like that and I don't think sex would change things anyway if it did happen everas it's entirely possible to be friends with people you've had physical relations with previously.

[wixard]

Ladder theory is all based on a massively wrong preconception from the very off (nice charts (http://www.laddertheory.com/images/1chart-mw.gif)), and also assumes that attraction between friends will always damage the relationship without ever actually explaining why. My best friend is totes fit and yeah if she wanted to of course I'd get with her, but that changes nothing about the friendship as I know we're not like that and I don't think sex would change things anyway if it did happen everas it's entirely possible to be friends with people you've had physical relations with previously.

haven't you got with her before?
also she has a boyfriend, who's your friend

[FlyingJesus]

Nope not that I remember but yeah what's having a bf got to do with it I thought your theory meant that regardless of all things I as a male can't control my urges and will always attempt to get with her and because girls don't like sex as much (lol good joke) it will destroy the friendship

[Recursion]

Yes. I have girl friends that I don't fancy...

Honestly, I get along with a lot of girls better than a lot of guys :/

[Smurfed-]

I think they can tbh, at school we have this guy and girl they have been friends ever since year 7 and have never thought about going out or whatever. I'm not sure if anyone else have people like this in their school. but there are quite a few people like this in mine :)

[GeorginaxD]

Of course. I don't really have anything to add because it's obvious they can..

[Stephen]

not if you want to hump anything that moves

looks at richie

[:.:kaytay:.:]

Like to me, I can be friends with boys. If they find interest me, and make effort to get to know me. If I feel the same, or not. I'll speak my mind.

Two sides, thing changes--people get to know each other, find things the like in that person-- either romantically or personal like a trust you've never felt before.

I myself perfer guys as a best friend, cause they don't hold grudges, girls do. I still hold grudges from such a long time ago, its un-real that i still feel the same way.

If they make a effort, boys and girls can be friends; that's it. :)

[BlueEyedSarah]

I have very strange mixed feelings about this and I could write a huge story about it. I think it works if you both have the same similar expectations, mature and are both adult.

[Firehorse]

It is possible if neither side likes the other, but as soon as one side likes the other it isn't possible. If both sides like the other than it would easily turn into a relationship anyway. So the grey/friend zone (which I have handily greyed) is literally only where one side likes the other.

[Jazz]

I personally have more male friends then female, so in my opinion yes they can.

[GoldenMerc]

No not really...

[Recursion]

It is possible if neither side likes the other, but as soon as one side likes the other it isn't possible. If both sides like the other than it would easily turn into a relationship anyway. So the grey/friend zone (which I have handily greyed) is literally only where one side likes the other.

Disagree with this! :P

[Firehorse]

Disagree with this! :P

Care to elaborate?

[beth]

i don't get on very well with girls and the majority of my bestest bestest friends are boys. some of them are quite fit but it doesn't stop being just their friend.

[twinart]

Why not? It's not wrong to be friends.

[HotelUser]

I must be missing something, because I think this question is absolutely stupid. Tell me, why on earth couldn't a man and a woman be friends with each other? Why does gender matter? People are people.

I completely agree with what Chris has said.

[Jack!]

I have plenty of male and female friends, Also have a girlfriend, Don't see what the problem is about being friends with both sexes?

I am quiet close to some of the female friends, but only as friends, and I'm lucky to have a girlfriend that understands that, Obviously the closest person is mygirlfriend, this just seems like asexiestand pointless thread, what stops both sexes from being friends?

[Zak]

I've found a lot of girls who have tried to get close to me in the past (girl wise) have ended up fancying the pants off me, or had done in the past. I think a girl and a boy can just be friends, I could defo just be friends with a girl I know, her friendship would mean more to me than anything she could give me intimately.

[Shar]

Of course they can. Sometimes you need a friend of the opposite sex without it getting all complicated..I like having friends that are guys because sometimes they're just less hormonal and serious but that don't necessarily mean I want anything more than that

[Recursion]

Care to elaborate?

Been there, done that. First hand experience.

[Firehorse]

Been there, done that. First hand experience.

Does not count if you are asexual.

[FlyingJesus]

Does not count if you are asexual.

Sexuality has absolutely nothing to do with it, some of my closest femalefriends are people who I've been physically close to in the past yet it does not negatively affect our relationship because we are quite able to be humans rather than chimps

[GommeInc]

Yes. Next question.

I'm yet to do the horizontal mumbo with all of my female "friends." Life isn't black and white..