friend helpppp.

[beth]

okay so basically, you may (or may not know) that i gave up university to come home and be a fulltime carer for my autistic sister. so i came back to birmingham and like re-met up with my friends from college and stuff, and at first it was good but now i'm kinda finding it a little hard.

they don't seem to understand that i can't just drop things like them and come out anytime i want and i feel kind of left out and lonely, ha. i mean, i've tried really hard because it seemed at one point everytime they were asking me out i said no. i went out at 11pm to a houseparty and then went home at 7am the next day to look after my sister just so i could try to do both and it was so tiring.

like they've kinda stopped inviting me out, or if they do (and i CAN'T get out of looking after my sister which is 99% of the time) they make me feel really guilty about it, my best friend in particular. he just ignores me or doesn't call me for weeks and weeks, and my situation here with my sister is rly **** at the moment and i do NEED my friends. i just don't know how to make them understand.

they know what i do and how much i do (i was on bbc radio and they were all tuned in lololol) but i don't wanna become a complete recluse. eurgh. any suggestions?????

+rep if theyre good ha.

[J0SH]

The only thing I can suggest is you find new friends tbf. It's good what you're doing for your sister but you do need to have a social life sometimes aswell, maybe your friends can chill round your house? That way you can do both, I dunno lol I haven't been in thatsituationso my advice isn't that good. So I guess the bottom line is if your friends can't accept your busyschedulethen you need to forget about them.

[beth]

s'kinda hard to find new friends at the moment ha, probably why i spend so much time on here. my autistic sister doesn't like leaving the house/or new people so it's not like i can get out or even people can come here. erughghghgh. it seems like i'm pretty stuck. :( thanks for the reply though!

[Narnat,]

I knowpeoplealways say ''Talk to them'' and maybe it's something you should do and explain how you feel, I've been in that situation with my Mum a few times and I realized that they just didn't understand how much I really wanted to say yes but I had other commitments but when I told them how I felt they seemed to understand a lot more. But it's also important that you have a break yourself and that you do get time to chill and hang out with your friends.

[Recursion]

Would it not be possible to invite friends round yours? Not necessarily to all get pissed in front of your little sister by any means.

[Catzsy]

Do you get any support at all from outside? Is their any respite available? You have huge responsibilities for your age and your friends should show more empathy and be less selfish imo. I would not feel at all bad it's a problem with them not you. I don't know if this may help?
http://www.youngcarers.net/who_can_help_me/86/92