What can I do about these girls that target me at school?

[Jssy]

It seems quite pathetic to say I still do get bullied at 15. But all the others bullies in the past have stopped but these girls won't. A while ago in our Infromation & guidance lesson I said to my friend that I was applying for a hairdressing course at college and this girl called Chloe heard and got all her friends on me saying I can't even take care of my own appearance, which I know isn't true but I just have days where I'm up late and don't have time like other people. It really hurt me when they made fun of me, I reported it to my head of house but then they carried on at me, another incident happened and I reported it. In english they snigger at me and find something to pick on me for. I look up and see them staring at me and giggling and it's so annoying. They seem so pathetic and I was hoping after christmas they'd have stopped but first day back today and I was looking forward to it but again in english they were laughing at the shape I'd plucked my eyebrows in to saying they look like caterpillars and stuff like that. Then I looked up to find them all staring at me as usual and then Chloe said 'she's staring at me ******* *****'. Getting to the point now where I don't enjoy school even though I've only got until May left. It's getting me down but I feel like if I report it again they'll carry on as usual. I don't really know what to do about the situation and I vowed to stand up for myself in 2012 but today I was really tired from the weather keeping me away last night so didn't bother but I hate ignoring it.

Thread moved by Infectious (Forum Moderator): From "Education & Employment", as it is better suited here!

[beth]

sometimes i think ignoring it can only aggravate the problem, if it were me (and obviously don't take this as advice this is just what I would do) i would turn round and completely embarrass the girl verbally in front of all of her friends. but i know it takes confidence to do that, and obviously they are wearing down yr confidence. have you spoken to yr mom about this? teachers tend to take things more seriously if a parent is involved, if it's really getting you down and you don't feel you can confront them i would refuse to attend lessons til they put something into action. by LAW they cannot ignore constant bullying if it is affecting yr education.

[Andeeh]

They sound like pathetic people, sorry that you have experienced it, how long has it been going on for? Is the school taking any action when you spoke to them? As you said you only have 5 months left so just try to enjoy the last piece of school you have and when it comes to college most of the time people are more mature and don't start picking on people.

[Shar]

Its pathetic that these girls are being so immature, clearly they have some growing up to do. As Bethie has already mentioned you need to be more confident. Even if you don't feel so confident you should just pretend you are and pretend that what they're doing and saying isn't getting to you and maybe then they will get bored and stop it probably not straight away but gradually. You shouldn't be listening to fools like that anyway, don't let them bring you down.

[Jssy]

Ooh never thought about that thanks Beth, in year 9 I got bullied and it got so bad I got took out of dance drama permanently since I wasn't taking it as an option. But obviously I love english :(

edit: Thanks Shar, I'll try to. It's really stressing me out and it's stress I don't need since I'm sitting my exams this year :/

[Shar]

Ooh never thought about that thanks Beth, in year 9 I got bullied and it got so bad I got took out of dance drama permanently since I wasn't taking it as an option. But obviously I love english :(

edit: Thanks Shar, I'll try to. It's really stressing me out and it's stress I don't need since I'm sitting my exams this year :/
Oh :( if its really that bad and if its getting worse you should explain to your parents what's been happening and how its making you feel and maybe they can help try and sort it out. Its not a guarantee but it won't hurt trying especially since you have exams this year and want less on your mind :)

[Neversoft]

Many people are bullied and school years are often the toughest, so don't think that it's pathetic or you're alone, because you aren't. The only pathetic thing is the bullies themselves. Can you perhaps report them to your head teacher, or a deputy head instead of the head of house? Someone with more authority, at least. If nothing gets done, could your mother contact the school? It's clearly causing you distress and you don't deserve to sit through another five months of pointless ridicule, but know that the actions of some wasters needn't matter. You're clearly better than them.

[buttons]

smile. don't let it show that it bothers you. really age old advice but i find it works. in the meantime, definitely get a parent involved! i wouldn't say i was bullied but i was a victim for a long time and people were too scared to talk out against those girls. they never did do anything to me or anyone else except words and threats, the same those girls are doing to you. keep in your mindset that you're better than them, honestly i look back at all those girls and they're actually nothing in life, it's quite sad. there's no way i would let them talk down to me again so in a sense i'm glad they taught me not to care.

what did your head of house do? if they're doing nothing then go straight to the person at the top or closest. keep quiet about it, don't let the girls know what has hit them. i think the worst possible thing you could do is let it build up and snap at them, it'll give them more incentive to continue bullying you. it might be hard but my suggestion is really to brush everything off your shoulder while its dealt with. tell your parents/guardian, take them to the head with you and if even that fails i would go to the local council. it sucks because usually the outcome all depends on how your head teacher deals with it but i know my local council get involved if they feel the teaching isn't up to scratch or they aren't effectively dealing with bullying. don't be scared to report them for fear of what they might do, surely it can't be worse than what they're already doing?

hope it goes well :)

[Mathew]

It just saddens me to read something like this because it reminds me so much of High School. Whilst I wasn't bullied, I remember there was a group of people in my year who felt the need to make fun of, annoy and abuse pretty much everyone they laid eyes on. I can imagine that it's an awkward position to be in - you don't want to annoy them even more so they continue, but you don't want to stay quiet about it because it's crushing your confidence. One thing I found out in my last couple of years is that my Headmaster actually was a helpful man. I'd always imagined the higher management to be focused on money, teaching standards and grades... but they are in fact there to help. I would strongly suggest that you go see your Headteacher as soon as possible: even if it's just for a chat or to let something off your chest. It's upsetting when people don't make use of the relationship with higher figures in the school; very few people will go visit them, so if you make the move and tell them your issue then they should sort it out. Why mess about with your head of house? ;)

Hey, there is some hope for you though - College is a lot better! I'm in Year 13 now at 6th Form and everyone gets along with each other. I'd feel safe speaking to anyone in my year, and I'd like to think everyone else feels the same. I'd say there's a good 200 of us, but everyone is there because they want to be. There's next to no backstabbing and it really is a pleasant change from my High School experience. Plus, I adore English (I'm wanting to study English Language at university)... and all English fans are bound to be amazing! ;)

[J0SH]

Hmm I'm bad at giving advice, I know people say violence doesn't solve anything but really it does. I feel with your fists is the only way you can show you can indeed stand up for yourself. It'll at least shut them up but I don't think you're willing to get into a fight. Either ignore them or call names back.

[Jssy]

[@]@shar[/@] I got my mum involved before, but school didn't do much. :(
[@]@neversoft[/@] I guess you're right. My mum tried to contact someone higher before but they said she couldn't see headteacher unless my head of house felt it necessary and she didn't. To be honest when I refused to come to school in lower years because of bullying she told my mum that a lot of kids make up that excuse to avoid school so I kinda lost faith in telling her anything, but we have a male head of house that's head of 2 houses and he's pretty good. He makes me write a statement then has a word with the people involved but they always carry on.
[@]@buttons[/@] Thank you, your post made me smile haha. I just kinda feel like it's not even worth reporting because when I do they carry on and tell people I'm a snitch etc and it just kind of makes me feel nervous and powerless
[@]@Mathew[/@] Yeah, I wish I could remember my years at school as great times, but it sucks being one on the unpopular ones. I'll see what I can do about it tomorrow. Everyone has told me that it's much better after school and I kinda think it will be easier at college because everyone will be on the course for the same reason as me and I hope to have a fresh start at college and meet some new friends :)

[Mathew]

Yep, go see your Headteacher tomorrow and get it sorted! You don't want it to get in the way of your exams. Everyone has chosen those courses at College because they're interested so they'd be silly to make a mess of it. I should also add that the group of "bullies" at High School have ended up getting absolutely nowhere so far. Myself among others have gone on to achieve some pretty good grades, so hang in there and let karma do its work.. ;)

[buttons]

sorry but your school sucks. i thought mine was bad. you're only powerless right now because you let them get one over you. you really need to stand up to your head, challenge them, refuse to do work, make a scene, threaten to go to the council or something until they do something about it. okay maybe not make a scene but prove to them you are absolutely serious and you WILL get something done about it. talk to that male head you mentioned. take action now, don't put up with it any longer. it's so easy for me to say this aha but i wish people would realize they really have the power to do what they want and be what they want. and i wish i did it when i was younger rather than let everyone walk all over me. i had to be taken out my drama class cause i was constantly being picked on by the same 3 girls. my mum had to get involved cause i decided i'd stay at home doing nothing and ruin my education because of them which you really shouldn't have to do. and actually i'm really glad that you don't do the same that i did, run away from it all.

being unpopular rocks. all the popular girls **** each other off and are fake friends. who actually wants attention and having to please everyone. BORING. be yourself.

[dbgtz]

What saddens me most about this is how the school really does nothing at all, I wouldn't bother with relying on the school anymore as quite frankly a lot of teachers just do not care and any that do are practically powerless to do anything. The punishments these days are ineffective to most people because they get so much detention it's basically just another lesson to them which occurs daily. In my opinion you should do one of two things. Either wait until college, as that is likely to get rid of it (as hopefully they'll mature, or you'll just never see them) or show what they wear isn't the "right" style and the fact fashion constantly changes anyway, and you could mention the fact you'd rather innovate then be a sheep following the majority. Show her all types of people and that just because they are also alive does not make them superior.

[Inseriousity.]

being unpopular rocks. all the popular girls **** each other off and are fake friends. who actually wants attention

haha I'm glad it's not just me who thought this. People trying to butt into everything about your life, no thank you!

Part of bullying is that they're looking for a reaction. Bullies get off on knowing their bullying is working so if you can't hit them (this is one way to show it's not working but is often unrealistic and impractical) you just need tohold your head up high and get through it somehow.It's going to hurt. I have had the 'but you cant even look after yourself' insult thrown at me but it's all about positive thinking. Just think 'theyre gonna be working in [insert horrible place here]' when theyre older. Even if it doesn't turn out to be true, itkeeps your hopes up!Nearly there, you'renear the end of school so just hang on in there. You can do it.

PS. I loled at the name of that lesson though.

[-:Undertaker:-]

If any of it is physical then it needs to be met with a physical response.

[Jssy]

Thanks guys, so far it's gone well. None of the girls have said anything in the past few days like they usually do so hopefully it will always be like this from now on. Anyway I found out they're applying for a diff college to me :D

[Samantha]

That's good to hear, the same thing happened to me in English but my friend in english got an email about anti bullying week and to get in contact with this teacher if they know anyone getting bullied. She contacted my form tutor about me, and my tutor took me outside in lesson and asked if I was ok, saying someone had reported it. She said she spoke to my english teacher and said he just replied 'they aren't bullying, just being loud' (he was joining in so it was obvious he'd say that) like one lesson they just went on and on about my boyfriend and my teacher joined in answering questions they were asking me?

They kept toning down and they don't bother now. What I noticed is, take one out of the group and get them alone, they are a whole different person!

[beth]

being popular doesn't automatically make you an idiot yaknowwww people. ha.

[sorrydude$]

Too much to read, but according to the titles, my answer is...
Call the police! REport them. Send them to prison. :P

[Shoe]

I havent read all the comments. :P one of the girls names is chloe... lol i think it must be something to do with the name tbh :P

Anyway, I used to be bullied and the typical advice was ignor it, pretend it doesnt bother you tell a teacher and all this. For me none of this work at the school i was at. In the end she tried to steal something off me so i punched the girl. Now im defo not saying punch them, lol but standing up to them imo is the best thing you could do :)

College is soo much better no bullying or anything everyone is alot more grown up, trust me :)

Someone else said something about them being popular girls. Dont worry i doubt they will get anywhere in life as they will just end up with kids at a young age and on drugs and all sorts. Seriously, they will get nowhere and you will prove to them and yourself that your better and bigger and will make something of your life :)