Oxford University Interview Questions

[Mathew]

Oxford University is renowned to ask somewhat random, open-ended questions with the rather clever purpose of finding out how their applicants respond to such thought-provoking issues. I've posted a few below and I'd be interested to see how everyone responds to them. Just answer one of them if you like... I'm curious! :)

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?

If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?

Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.

Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?

What is 'normal' for humans?

If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?

How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?

Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?

If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?

What is language?

If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?

[Inseriousity.]

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?

Cos they're human beings who have interests outside their subject, including watching tv.

If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?

The sound of laughter. lol what a hippy answer.

Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.

Its a cactus.

Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?

They're neither. Their choice at the end of the day.

What is 'normal' for humans?

Normal is a social construction. There is no objectivedefinitionof the word.

If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?

Rainforest. trees are pretty.

How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?

I don't know, I only stick to subjects with essays.

Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?

To show them how not to write. To show them how publishers would publish any sexist pile of crap. To show them how branding a book is often more important than the actual plot.

If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?

Drugs are cheaper here than anywhere else!

What is language?

A tool for communication that varies from culture to culture.

If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?

Effective, yes. Just, no.

lolol as you can guess, I didn't get into Oxford.

[Neversoft]

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?
- Progression and to study differences between writers and generations or something, I don't know. But I do know Coronation Street is boring and Northern.

If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?
- Silence.

Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.
- I think Bear Grylls said it's moist inside. I may have just made that up.

Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?
- A hero among men.

What is 'normal' for humans?
- People may be ordinary, but they're not normal.

If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?
- Rainforest. Not giving a reason because you didn't ask.

How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?
- My brain hurts. Why would I want to hold back water anyway?

Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?
- Because you learn from the bad things as well as the good. /cliche

If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?
- Nothing because it's ****.

What is language?
- English.

If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?
- Yeah, probs.

[HotelUser]

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?
Because it is extremely boring and should demonstrate to English students how much more entertaining reading novels is than watching television.


If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?
anti-rapping sounds


Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.
The cacti is a symbolic representation of the suppression of the rest of the world corresponding to how the United States victimizes all other nations by hogging and consuming an over substantial amount of the worlds finite resources. Statistically there is more cacti in the United States than in Canada and the United Kingdom. This statistic demonstrates that the United States is a nation of greed whom do not wish to distribute their cacti evenly amongst all nations. Alaska does not have cacti which occur naturally therefore it can be said that they are the least popular state amongst Americans. This raises the question that in the event of a war between the United States and the world, that they would allow Alaska to become the first casualty.


Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?
It is impossible to answer this question because unless the end goal or result of the person's engagement in said activities leads to a reward which outweighs the risks, of course it is the actions of a fool to put ones or others' lives in danger.


What is 'normal' for humans?
Normal in one atmosphere and society does not constitute for normal in another. Additionally one would speculate that a modern day normal in Western society is not the same as normal in the past. Since the question does not broadcast a specific regional or date range, normal for humans could encompass any sort of behaviour, because if you look at all humans of the present, future and past who live in regions all around the world or on other planets the variation in normality will begin to converge as an invalid statistic and only minimal attributes will be common amongst all parties. At the moment I would be inclined to say those attributes are the fact that we enter the world, live then leave the world, although in the future this is subject to change so to this question I don't really have an answer for what is normal for humans.


If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?
It's pretty obvious that I'd save the rain forests, I'm not a very good swimmer and I'm pretty scared of sharks.


How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?
In a way such that water turbines could be utilized to generate clean renewable energy from the dam.


Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?
To try to pick out its good qualities, when you've already been rapidly influenced that all it has is bad,


If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?
A local musical store, as so we could converse about creating that new musical instrument.


What is language?
An eight letter word in English and possibly other languages.


If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?
Consistently yes, until someone violated said law.

[GommeInc]

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?
Depends on what type of English student - literature or language? As a language student, they may be fascinated in the way they seem to over emphasise how northerners' supposedly speak. "Off t'market", which may of happened 50 years ago, but not today. As a literature student, it would be how such a show that focuses on the life of a workers' houses street has become so popular.

If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?
Got to be flatulence.

Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.
It's spikey.

Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?
A hero is a fool who people look up to.

What is 'normal' for humans?
Sex and lots of it.

If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?
Rainforests.

How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?
Using paper and pen to start. Bricks and mortar as materials and lots of muscular men.

Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?
To understand how not to write a love story or use mythical creatures who are meant to be violent and gory, not adorable and incredibly gay.

If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?
The Jam.

What is language?
Communicating in any form, be it by body or sound, to another object.

If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?
It wouldn't be just because in the legal sense you need people to punish to actually make anything justifiable <insert that latin word which means justification through previous convictions>, and if no-one does it then it isn't really an effective law, as it doesn't serve a purpose.

Last I checked Oxford love a answer that is as short as possible, so most of these are probably undesirable.

[GirlNextDoor15]

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?
Probably because of how human changes and how Coronation Street would attract them. Isn't it exactly like Robert Pattinson? He's unsexy to us but not to new generation.

If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?​
A sound of music.

Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.
an oxymoron: murderous innocence of the cactus or something.

Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?
DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO RISK YOUR OWN LIFE AND THOSE OF OTHERS IN EXTREME SPORTS OR ENDURANCE ACTIVITIES? THEY CAN CHOOSE, YOU SEE. BUT IF HE'S NOT DEAD, THEN HE MIGHT BE A FOOL AND WHEN HE DIED, HE'LL BE A HERO. IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THAT IN STORIES.

What is 'normal' for humans?
Brain is a very complicated thing. I don't think humans will ever understand what is normal. What is normal to me might not be normal to you. And if they do understand what is normal, wars, conflicts, arguments etc. won't happen anyways.

If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?
If I have the will to save them, you don't have to give me the choice.

How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?
when i get the chance to design 1, it'll probably be 2090 or something. by that time, i'll copy and paste what others did.

Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?
so that the student will understand the functions of language. how simple and yet exciting it can be to make those teenage girls going CRAZY over Edward Cullen and Bella Swan.

If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?
oh the sky baby. it looks the same everywhere.

What is language?
Language is 'brilliant questions btw'.

If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?
Parking on double yellow lines is such a simple mistake. If parking on double yellow lines would cause you death, then I'm so sorry. The law is neither just nor effective cause you've violated our humans law of making mistakes.

[Blinger]

I think with the problem with these responses is that you have more time to think about the answer then you would in the interview.

[Samantha]

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?

It's a successful show that has overcome many things in it's time but pulled through them.

If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?

I would take a clarinet and keyboard and combine them.

Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.

It's *****ly and green.

Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?

Whatever floats their boat I guess.

What is 'normal' for humans?

Nothing is normal.

If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?

Rainforests, animals are more endangered than fish.

How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?

No idea.

Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?

To figure how stupid the whole storyline is.

If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?

The pit houses on fire every night.

What is language?

What you speak and communicate with.

If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?

No, disabled people have the right to park on them for 3 hours.

[Gibs960]

The only one that I really wanted to answer is "Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?"

To show them what the opposite of talent is.

[Meloneeze.]

Why do you think an English student might be interested in the fact that Coronation Street has been running for 50 years?
I don't know
If you could invent a new musical instrument, what kind of sound would it make?
Me slapping your face, then replay it over and over.
Here's a cactus. Tell me about it.
I don't need to. You can see the cactus right there.
Is someone who risks their own life (and those of others) in extreme sports or endurance activities a hero or a fool?
Neither, if they brag about it they become a turd.
What is 'normal' for humans?
Definitely not these questions.
If you could save either the rainforests or the coral reefs, which would you choose?
Rainforests, I like to 'hang' with the monkeys.
How would you design a gravity dam for holding back water?
Was there words in there?
Why might it be useful for an English student to read the Twilight series?
Because when they're done they realize how truly gay it is.
If I were to visit the area where you live, what would I be interested in?
Main Street.
What is language?
What you're reading and speaking.
If the punishment for parking on double yellow lines were death, and therefore nobody did it, would that be a just and effective law?
No, unless you had half-blind zombies that lived in your town, then yes.

I clearly do not need to get into Oxford. ;)