How to cancel a date?

[Catchy]

I don't ask for advice much on the forum but don't know what to do. Supposed to be going on a date tomorrow with this guy he seemed a lil weird at first but I can handle that (why do I always attract weirdos and psychopaths).

Anyway I've been debating wether to go or not all of today but this text I've just received has put me off for life, I've put it in a spoiler just cause...

Sorry I've had a mate round who really needs to chat. Hope you don't mind :( I will text you when I'm alone again. Just making more cups of tea. I guess I'm afraid that you won't want to see me again if we don't have sex. I've been raped by 3 men and had a long past of meeting bad people who just want to have fun and make me feel crap about myself. I guess I'm just afraid you might be like that and he only way to keep you interested in me would be sex. x

Okay so I'm not going to lie, that text really put me off. Who wouldn't it put off? Let's be honest here. Like I wouldn't mind and I'd appreciate someone for being brave enough to share that sort of stuff with me if I'd known them for a while and gained their trust etc?

I Just find it so weird that someone would just come out with that after not even having been on a first date yet... You just WOULDN'T do it! I've been with people before who've had issues I'm not going to go into it but I swear it complicates everything and I can't be dealing with it.

Anyway so I need advice, how do I cancel this date? I'd usually just ignore the person but on this occasion I'm actually going to feel really bad if I just ignore.

Eurg just some proper weirdos out there these days, welcome 2 nottingham x

What do you think I should say? Lmao

[Vause]

PEOPLE OF HABBOXFORUM ALL I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU HERE IS WELCOME TO NOTTINGHAM.

Okay Jake serious. You need to tell him upfront he has been too forward with you too soon. It's nice of him to be this open and honest but seriously you don't tell people this without knowing them. I'm not the kinda person to just ignore texts... but I'd just reply with my exact thoughts. He does seem a little weird. Do you think he's telling the truth? Or is this to get your attention? Plus after our previous convo's about dates/sex I know you're deffo not one to go on dates just for that reason!

Let me know what happens and if it fails I'll take you on a date to NG1 where we can get steaming drunk and meet weird 50 year old men in the smoking area x

[Kyle]

if you had genuinely planned the date disregarding sex then I don't see why this would put you off so much. just till him straight that you don't care/want to know about his past and meet him anyway... what's the worst that could happen? if you don't click after the first date then you don't have to continue it but snubbing him after he's semi poured his heart out to you is just plain cruel.

[beth]

aw i kinda feel sorry for him, maybe he genuinely doesn't know he's gone too far? i would just be as honest as you can with him but be kind too as he sounds kinda idk fragile?

[FlyingJesus]

You must have texted him something relating to sex for this to be a reply, it doesn't look like something that's come from nothing... yes it's EXTREMELY open especially considering the extent of what he's telling you he's been through, but sounds like you asked him about sex and this was the reply. Frankly if you are just looking for a cheeky bum then I would break it off and (this is important) apologise to him, otherwise you'll just be compounding his problems, but if you are looking for an actual relationship and honestly think you're strong enough to cope with being with someone who may have warped perceptions about intimacy issues, tell him that. I'm usually all for telling a lie and just getting what you want, but when it involves this kind of damage I really think you need to be honest with yourself and with him about what you're looking for and what you're able to cope with

[Charlie]

I agree with Tom, while it is extremely open, you must have said something relating to sex or whatever to have him reply with that because I don't think someone would just come out of no where with something like that.

I do feel bad for him though. If I was in your position, I'd at least give him a chance and go on one date with him and then if it you still didn't want to carry on, just tell him but if you want to cancel it now, just apologise and break it off.

[Catchy]

You must have texted him something relating to sex for this to be a reply, it doesn't look like something that's come from nothing... yes it's EXTREMELY open especially considering the extent of what he's telling you he's been through, but sounds like you asked him about sex and this was the reply. Frankly if you are just looking for a cheeky bum then I would break it off and (this is important) apologise to him, otherwise you'll just be compounding his problems, but if you are looking for an actual relationship and honestly think you're strong enough to cope with being with someone who may have warped perceptions about intimacy issues, tell him that. I'm usually all for telling a lie and just getting what you want, but when it involves this kind of damage I really think you need to be honest with yourself and with him about what you're looking for and what you're able to cope with


I agree with Tom, while it is extremely open, you must have said something relating to sex or whatever to have him reply with that because I don't think someone would just come out of no where with something like that.

I do feel bad for him though. If I was in your position, I'd at least give him a chance and go on one date with him and then if it you still didn't want to carry on, just tell him but if you want to cancel it now, just apologise and break it off.

The thing is guys, I don't recall saying one thing about sex actually I know for a fact I haven't so that's why I was so like woah when I got the text because you just don't tell someone you've been speaking to for about two days something like that? It was so out of the blue so I was so shocked.

Anyways I've called it off because already he's been talking about relationships and god knows what, some might find that cute but to be honest I don't, I find it clingy already and I really can't be doing with it. I've apologised and said I feel really bad, sure it's probably harsh but hey it happens to everyone and life goes on I'm sure he's not going to be heart broken.

But anyway thanks for all your advise. Rep to all.

Can't rep you till 23rd April vampirism I'll put it in my sig so I don't forget x

[Charlie]

The thing is guys, I don't recall saying one thing about sex actually I know for a fact I haven't so that's why I was so like woah when I got the text because you just don't tell someone you've been speaking to for about two days something like that? It was so out of the blue so I was so shocked.

Anyways I've called it off because already he's been talking about relationships and god knows what, some might find that cute but to be honest I don't, I find it clingy already and I really can't be doing with it. I've apologised and said I feel really bad, sure it's probably harsh but hey it happens to everyone and life goes on I'm sure he's not going to be heart broken.

But anyway thanks for all your advise. Rep to all.

Can't rep you till 23rd April vampirism I'll put it in my sig so I don't forget x

Oh, right. That is weird. I can understand him telling you that he doesn't want it to be a one time thing but saying things like that after two days, is extremely open so I can understand where your coming from now. At least you were nice about it and told him though, it might suck for him but it's better to do it now then later on.

[Catchy]

Oh, right. That is weird. I can understand him telling you that he doesn't want it to be a one time thing but saying things like that after two days, is extremely open so I can understand where your coming from now. At least you were nice about it and told him though, it might suck for him but it's better to do it now then later on.

Yeah, I just said well never say never I'm not saying that but I just don't feel this is the right time and he said he'll be patient and what not but yeah, the fact of the matter is if I'm having doubts even now then what's it going to be like later on haha.