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MENTAL NUTTER
28-08-2005, 02:03 PM
It was a sunny day in The Land of The Burgers. The sky was blue, the sea was blue and the grass was blue. Timmy was sleeping, when all of a sudden: “WAKE UP!!” Timmy fell out of bed and hit his head on his bedside table. Timmy’s younger brother, Jake, had shouted down Timmy’s ear with a megaphone.

After 10 minutes of frustration and confusion, Timmy made his way downstairs for breakfast. Timmy was a small boy, who was not the most intelligent boy in the world, but he sure did have some great imagination. One time, his imagination even got him and his brother to the other side of the world while being chased by giant turtles with ray guns, but that’s another story. Timmy was spreading butter on his toast, and pouring milk in his tea. How he did that all at once we have no idea.

After breakfast, Timmy went to school. Now, you might be thinking ‘What kind of story is this?’ Well we don’t know either, but let’s just see where it goes. At his school, MonkeySide High School, he was in his 10th year. Half way through his Maths lesson, there was a knock on the door. The class where expecting the headmaster on his daily checks. But what came through that door, is such a weird thing, you will only find its name in this story.

An alien, 10 feet tall, wearing strange metal armour and holding a staff walked in. The class fell silent. The teacher fainted. The alien said something that would shake the ages for all eternity:
“Where’s the bathroom?” And with that, he walked out the room. After around 5 minutes, the class left for lunch, leaving the teacher fainted on the floor with half her coffee spilt over her. Don’t worry, she woke up after a few minutes and she lived happily ever after.

After lunch, Timmy returned home (yes, school only lasts from 9:00 to 1:00 here). Slumping down on the couch, Timmy reached for the remote and turned the television on. The problem was, The television didnt come on. He suddenly remembered that his dad had forgot to pay the television bills again. Annoyed, Timmy stepped outside to see his brother, who was riding Timmy's bike. Timmy had gave Jake his bike in trade for a book called 'The Mystery Of The Golden Crumpet' Written by I.AM.Crazy. Which was based on a true story. Ever scince then, Timmy has been looking for the magical crumpet of doodles, which alows the user to move any object at will.

This is where the turtles come in. The Turtles Of Now 61 where a gang of 5 giant turtles who had a secret lair under the ground. They where called: David, Mambo, S. club, Gary and their leader: Joey The Pirate. They where also after the crumpet, and almost found it once, until a llama stole it. Timmy, how ever, has never seen the golden crumpet, but the only reason he wants to get it, is because he is the only one that can find it. Timmy has special powers no one knows about, not even himself. Such powerful powers that could force The turtles to another dimension.

Now, it just so happens that there is a map in the book. Timmy has studied the map, and knows the location of the crumpet. So, tommorow, he thought, i'm going to get that crumpet. The next day, Timmy set off with Jake for company, to his first stop on the map: Austrailia. From there he has to go north 500 steps then turn left. But the turtles are already 300 steps ahead of him. But Timmy bought his electric scooter, which should get him faster to the location. Afetr landing, Timmy and Jake set off on the scooter. 200 miles later, they drove past the turles, who where eating chips in a local cafe.

They reached their destination some time later, and it was very convinent to see an x marked on the sand. Timmy started to tell Jake to dig. After a good half an hour, Timmy was sun burnt and Jake had fell asleep, but Timmy had found the crumpet! "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Timmy turned round to see The Turtles holding their ray guns at Timmy and Jake. "Hand over that crumpet boy!" Said Joey.
"NEVER!" And with that, Timmy had activated the crumpet with his secret power, and sent the turtles to the 7th Dimension, which i hear is nice. After returning home on a jumbo jet, Timmy used the crumpet for only the mose important things, like moving his dinner to the table, and putting the trash in the bin. We did say he wasn't smart.

A few years later, the crumpet had disactivated itself and was eaten by Jake. Timmy went back to school and it was like nothing had changed. Their maths teacher had quit, the lunch was stilly mushy peas, and the alien had now taken over the earth. Yep, thought Timmy, Everything is back to normal. And with that, Timmy walked through the demolished school doors and went home to have a long sleep.

THE END (Please note: I hold no responsibility for anyone becoming confused over this story. thankyou)

Adam$
06-09-2005, 08:16 AM
what, and I repeat, what??

Forest-Law
06-09-2005, 02:31 PM
cool.....i love random. random i love.

this is from a post posted a long time ago

29TH JULY 2005

After a morning spent feeding my snake Bishop, I turned on the radio, lay in my bed and looked up at the clear sunny sky. Then I realised someone had stolen my roof. This was not going to be a normal day. I had to find the culprit guilty of such an act, I had to act quickly and I had to act quickly. I turned off the radio and left the house. The house? What house? I had entered the perverse mind of Bishop. My quest to find the Roof Thief would have to wait. In the desert I was standing in, I noticed an old man. As I walked closer I noticed this man was naked. I turned and went the other way but, again, there was another naked man. And suddenly, lots of naked men started appearing. Bishop must of been gay.

DISCOVERY 1 out of 3 ----> Completed - Snakes are Gay.

Wow. A secret mission completed already. I re-enterd reality, only to hear that the world was under attack from pigs. I saw a pig charging towards me. I reacted quickly and chopped off its nose. Then, something strange, it had green blood with tiny little elves singing Happy Birthday. Then this 'music' got louder. Earthlings were winning the fight against pigs.

DISCOVERY 2 out of 3 ----> Completed - Evil pigs have green blood in which tiny little elves sing Happy Birthday.

WOW! What a day it had been. Gay Snakes, naked old men, evil pigs and singing elves. I was tired. I arrived at an Indian Take-Away.

::Can I have Chicken Tikka and my roof back please?

:Certainly Sir.

(I would later learn his name was Phillip)

He took me to a warehouse. What I saw shocked me. There were thousands of them. Perhaps millions. Millions upon Millions of CHILDREN. Children like me and you.

::: Did your roof vanish?

::Yes, it did.

:::Is your snake gay??

::Yes, he is.

::: Did you meet evil pigs with green blood and singing elves??

::YES. Yes I did.

:::Oh God!

::What?

::: YOU FORGOT TO TURN YOUR RADIO OFF!!!!!

It all made sense now. The entire day had made sense! As I entered the cage, night fell. What a stupid idiot.

DISCOVERY 3 out of 3 ----> Completed - We are the lazy generation!!!

i thank u.

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