Talking to strangers +repssssss?

[Blinger]

Okay, I'm not sure if this is appropriate really.. I'm 21 and for quiet a fair chunk of my adult life I didn't have a social life because of work commitments. I'm a night shift worker (2-3am starts usually) so its hard to go out before work unless I stay up from 8pm until 12pm the next day – not fun!

Anyway, I have always really had a problem talking to random people because of what they might think of me! I'm a "nerd" but not a typical one. I enjoy playing sports like footy, paintball, squash, running, gym etc but in my spare time I spend a lot on the computer, not doing anything really just surfing the web or watching TV. Actually, I find myself not knowing what I do in my spare time since I have 6-7 hours of daylight spare every WORK day!

So back to the problem. I can't initiate / hold a conversation with people my own age. I'm just awkward around them and a bit too blunt with what I say. I know I shouldn't be, but I don't know how to change it!
Tonight was a great example. Me and my makes all went out clubbing and I decided at work that I would talk to random people. I think I talked to maybe 2 strangers? One was introducing them to someone else and the other asked for the time which I couldn't even hear her.

How do you start a conversation with people in their late teens/early twenties? I find it easier to talk to guys but girls I feel I have to "impress" them or something! This isnt just a problem in clubs, its also in shops and at work. I can easily talk to tradies about how their day is if they are busy (small chitchat) but when a girl comes in its just – awkward!

Not sure what else to write, I'm doing it on my phone so it's difficult!

Tl;dr – how do I initiate and hold a conversation with 18-23 year olds for a shy person!

Thanks everyone :-)

[Rachel]

Anyway, I have always really had a problem talking to random people because of what they might think of me! I'm a "nerd" but not a typical one. I enjoy playing sports like footy, paintball, squash, running, gym etc but in my spare time I spend a lot on the computer, not doing anything really just surfing the web or watching TV. Actually, I find myself not knowing what I do in my spare time since I have 6-7 hours of daylight spare every WORK day!

The situation is you are scared of other peoples thoughts. You wonder what they would think of you. You shouldn't worry about that as the importance is that you feel right with yourself. Who cares what others think of you. Think about yourself and live your life as you want. If they don't accept who you are then they don't deserve to have you as a friend. Respect is the key of friendship (well for me it is)

So back to the problem. I can't initiate / hold a conversation with people my own age. I'm just awkward around them and a bit too blunt with what I say. I know I shouldn't be, but I don't know how to change it!
Tonight was a great example. Me and my makes all went out clubbing and I decided at work that I would talk to random people. I think I talked to maybe 2 strangers? One was introducing them to someone else and the other asked for the time which I couldn't even hear her.


Just start with simple conversations like hello how are you and what are you doing lately. If you cannot all you can do is tell him or her that you are just too shy or don't know what to say. They will accept it and maybe they will start the conversation with you.

How do you start a conversation with people in their late teens/early twenties? I find it easier to talk to guys but girls I feel I have to "impress" them or something! This isnt just a problem in clubs, its also in shops and at work. I can easily talk to tradies about how their day is if they are busy (small chitchat) but when a girl comes in its just – awkward!

Talking to girls can be different yes but we do understand what you are talking about. I am a girl and I talk to guys and I have no problem. We are not eliens you know ;) Just give it a shot and you will see what I am talking about.

how do I initiate and hold a conversation with 18-23 year olds for a shy person!


It's okay to be shy as I am also a shy person believe me. Just be yourself and believe in yourself because once you get to know the person more you won't be shy at all :) It will take time for sure.





Ps: My answers are in bold. I hope it helps a bit. If you have any more questions and you need to talk about it you can always send me a Pm and I will try and answer your questions. I am not an expert but I can always give advice :)

[Milarz]

Doesn't really matter what you look like, it's just all about confidence. I mean really.. you don't go up to some random & start speaking. Unless... your trying to get with them or something. Even so, only people do that, are people with confidence. Looking for mates.. well, its usually hard when your out of school, Uni/college ect, but can always bump into someone somehow, maybe in some situation where you two have to do something together, you two will start speaking randomly about it, then continues from there. Kind of hard to tell you how to start speaking to people, there are many different ways. It's just about confidence.

[RockyHorror]

Lol blingers a virgin. Just man up and stop over thinking it, it's not the end of the day if you try and it doesn't work out just move onto the next person and don't worry.

[lawrawrrr]

I'd just say to not worry too much about it, no point changing who you are because one person doesn't like you. Tips for first going to speak to someone... act confident. Even if you don't feel it, roll your shoulders back, head up and act confident. It'll boost your self esteem and other poeple will think you are!!

I find it really difficult to talk to strangers without being introduced but when I did go up and talk to someone, the first thing I said was 'I like your hat'. Strange comments, or attempts to compliment people will always work imo! Maybe because I'm a girl... hmm. Still, rather than small talk, it might be easier to talk about literal things at first, then get to know someone properly later.

Good luck :3

[Blinger]

Lol blingers a virgin. Just man up and stop over thinking it, it's not the end of the day if you try and it doesn't work out just move onto the next person and don't worry.

RLY? I now know why they say "don't **** where you eat" - especially in the work place ;).

I'd just say to not worry too much about it, no point changing who you are because one person doesn't like you. Tips for first going to speak to someone... act confident. Even if you don't feel it, roll your shoulders back, head up and act confident. It'll boost your self esteem and other poeple will think you are!!

I find it really difficult to talk to strangers without being introduced but when I did go up and talk to someone, the first thing I said was 'I like your hat'. Strange comments, or attempts to compliment people will always work imo! Maybe because I'm a girl... hmm. Still, rather than small talk, it might be easier to talk about literal things at first, then get to know someone properly later.

Good luck :3
Thanks man! It sounds dead simple in theory it's the practical side that is hard, lol. Just act confident!


Doesn't really matter what you look like, it's just all about confidence. I mrean really.. you don't go up to some random & start speaking. Unless... your trying to get with them or something. Even so, only people do that, are people with confidence. Looking for mates.. well, its usually hard when your out of school, Uni/college ect, but can always bump into someone somehow, maybe in some situation where you two have to do something together, you two will start speaking randomly about it, then continues from there. Kind of hard to tell you how to start speaking to people, there are many different ways. It's just about confidence.
Thanks :) I've never been to uni or TAFE so I never had that social aspect of life, only high school and work. I'm getting more friends thanks to my social circle which is getting much better since I'm able to get off work on the weekends now :D!


Ps: My answers are in bold. I hope it helps a bit. If you have any more questions and you need to talk about it you can always send me a Pm and I will try and answer your questions. I am not an expert but I can always give advice :)
Ta, man! You've helped a bit :)

[Blinger]

finally got around to +repping you guys. thanks again. anymore suggestions are wel-come.