okay i have a problem

[buttons]

i'll try to keep this short lol

okay, so i met a guy (let's call him M) through my friend's boyfriend in June last year. he's almost 32, never married or had kids. my friend is now pregnant so her and her boyfriend never go out but every weekend M wants to go out. so me and another friend started tweeting or facebooking M to ask him to come out - ngl, mostly for free drinks. we stopped asking him though as we know he'll be there lol (only one club in our town!!)


ever since around october he's liked me. during that time i had low self-esteem so i just lapped up the attention and even encouraged him. i've never had any attraction to him at all though and other than joking around with him i haven't led him on at all. he knows there's no chance of us being together and despite this, he writes me poems, tweets me or skypes me literally everyday to tell me i'm beautiful etc (mostly backhanded compliments though lol), out of 6,000 tweets on his twitter i can guarantee 5,000 are to or about me, he's sent me flowers and chocolates and turned down other people because he likes me too much. he is really good to me and i do appreciate it but it's wasted on me.. and he knows this.


like i say, at the beginning yea it was nice but it's becoming a bit of a problem. people are starting to think we're together and i've had his friends have a go at me, telling me to give him a chance and stop being a selfish *****, telling me there's nothing special about me blah blah. even my own friends tell me to, it's annoying cause they joke about us being together in front of others and say i'm getting mad because i like him which is unfair as #1 if he's there, he might believe it and #2 other people believe it and think he's my boyfriend? >.<



anyway so i've blocked him on skype but i can't block him on facebook/twitter cause we have mutual friends on each and they'll know and ask why and ugh. it's harsh anyway. but there's always somewhere he'll be able to talk to me. i didn't even give him my house address to give me flowers... :S i've said it a million times to him, i don't fancy him and he should move on. i even introduce him to girls. and yes i sound like an ungrateful ***** but it's really beginning to bug me now. i mostly ignore his tweets but when we're out drinking we all have mutual friends so we will be together. not that he talks to me much when we're drunk., just buys us drinks and walks us home.

+rep for advice and i don't need any "give him a chance" or "lol you're selfish" ?.

[Special]

it's your fault for leading him on but he does need to get the hint, just keep telling him (when he talks to you, otherwise ignor him) that there is no way nothing is going to happe. if you can, talk to him in person, usually talking to someone online ends up falling on deaf ears

don't forget to put yourself in his shoes, if you loved someone and they didn't love you back you would be heartbroken so just bear that in mind & let him down softly

eventually he will get the message, luckily nothing sounds strange or weird about him he's just fallen for you

[dirrty]

i think you'll legit have to tell him straight up "i'm not interested, please leave me alone". it seems that his infatuation with you is borderline obsessive (unless i skipped a part where you haven't personally told him that you're not interested?), so you may have to be quite harsh with him if he doesn't get your polite version of it. besides that, i can't really think of a better alternative really, especially it's obvious that he really, really likes you but the feelings aren't mutual.

[Samantha]

I don't think you're feeling selfish, yeah you encouraged him but that was once upon a time and of course times change. Heck if I was feeling like that I would have loved the attention but then again you may see it as hardmless fun and it's obvious he doesn't. It is tricky that you have mutual friends so you can't block him from your life, it's really not your fault so his and your friends shouldn't tell you to give him a chance because they don't rule your mind and you're your own person.

You know your friends do they have boyfriends? Maybe they assume that you want someone, a partner so they go for him when in reality you don't like him plus you might be happy being single. I also believe that if you had someone else they would accuse you of trying to make M jealous which again only you would know that's not true.

I'm waffling on and I don't think he gets the hint, maybe he does what he does, i.e buys you gifts and such because he knows he can? Not like you can get away, move etc. The only thing I can suggest is trying to distance yourself from him (bad advice as I know that's not really possible) but also, at least you're trying to let him down easy, finding him girls and such.

He seems like a gentleman don't get me wrong but also kind of possessive? Like in his mind somewhere you will be together and although you tell him you wont be he cant understand it.

Although agree with above another alternative is coming straight out with it!

[Sammeth.]

Be careful with being too harsh, as he could be a murderer. You'll just have to make your point clear and reiterate it until he gets it. It's pretty much harrassment so get the police involved if you have to.

I wouldn't say any of it is your fault really, it's a bit silly to say it is, we all have our low points and generally do like that kind of attention if we're down and not feeling good about ourselves but that is in no way an invitation to start being excessive and intrusive. I know I've done stupid things with people when I've been down and low but luckily they've understood and not been a **** about it.

Maybe blocking him on facebook is for the best. I know you say people will ask why but you don't have to answer them. And if they are insistant on getting an answer just put it nicely that he's a ******* freak.

[FlyingJesus]

I know you've said to him before that things aren't going to happen but you really are always too friendly about it, and you need to just say it outright and harshly, possibly publicly even. That's mean perhaps but if he's not taking notice when you tell him 1-to-1 then maybe you need to make sure that others see what the reality of the situation is. You say you can't block his fb/twitter but it's gonna be necessary if he's still unwilling to accept the fact that you don't want to be with him - he doesn't have any entitlement to make you "his" or anything and it's only going to get worse and worse the longer you let this go on


Be careful with being too harsh, as he could be a murderer.

omf

[buttons]

@Special (http://www.habboxforum.com/member.php?u=58594); i have never lead him on lol by encouraging i mean he made a comment about something and i was like "you could have bought me flowers and chocolates with that money" just for a joke, i would say that to anyone. he found out i liked manga so ordered some for me online but i refused to take it.
as for "nothing seems strange/weird" - he found out my house address? when i say he walks us home, i mean he walks me and my friend to her house. he could have asked one of our mutual friends for my address but i don't think he did. he just tweeted me asking if that was my address and i said yes and received them. i put up pictures of them on facebook & i said it was the first i'd ever had flowers and thank you very much. that same day i said i still won't date him and no amount of gifts could ever make me like him. think maybe a chat one on one is in order if i get time as he works monday-friday and drinks friday-sunday... no idea how i'm gonna do it though, the way i solve problems is usually rage at them lol

@dirrty (http://www.habboxforum.com/member.php?u=34856); yeah yeah i've told him i'm not interested so many times and he should meet someone new and his friend has tried to set him up with someone he likes & he turned her down cause he doesn't want to be with anyone he doesn't like and he only likes me. and i said "you should give her a chance". i mean, his friends expect me to give him a chance but it's okay that he doesn't give one to someone else ?

@Samanfa (http://www.habboxforum.com/member.php?u=68263); thanks i feel like you really understood what i was writing. wouldn't even say i was encouraging him, just look at what i said to special to show what i mean. yeah my friends have boyfriends, i really don't know why they do it and i've liked and been with guys since M has liked me. ive even been with one of M's friends.. M gives me relationship advice too cause he knows that i like someone. so he definitely knows it's not mutual :P definitely possessive, he's literally drunk 24/7 though and when we're out and i'm talking to guys, he won't say anything but he will tweet stuff about it. he did say something to a guy i was talking to the last night about breaking his teeth and pissing down his throat if he tried to take advantage of me. then earlier today he was like "i'm always nice to you, i stuck up for you, i protect you". i don't need someone to protect me, especially not someone who is NOT my boyfriend or my father.

@FlyingJesus (http://www.habboxforum.com/member.php?u=24753); Sammeth.;
alright think im gonna just block him from everything. im pretty pissed off with him at the moment though so it's not gonna be easy to just say to him oh hey i'm blockin you btw. think i need to wait for a better opportunity for it to rise. doesn't look like i'll be out on the town with him anytime soon so i was just gonna wait until he next asks me and maybe say something? wait till i'm sober? im a bit of a coward to say anything so i wait until he's drunk to do it. but still he insists its fine that i don't like him but he's a ~romantic~. he has this ask.fm and i swear he asks himself questions about me. i don't wanna do it publically because like i say his friends are right ******** and i just know how they'll react to it. n don't want to do that to him anyway? i don't wanna be like "your friend is a freak", cause they've all been friends with him longer than they've been friends with me. i really dunno :( owe u rep tom. x


also let's put it this way. the last time we spoke on skype he wrote to me 27 times in the space of 6 hours and i replied ONCE.

[Inseriousity.]

M? omg if i knew you didnt feel the same way id have stopped :P

Lol yeah you need to be harsh. I think there's flirty banter and leading someone on and I don't think theres any indication that its the latter. There's the saying 'let him down gently' but it's clear that until you're a bit harsher the message won't sink in and he'll keep his hopes up. Stamp out his hope however painful it may be.

[A4R0N]

go out wiv me instead m8 kiss

[lawrawrrr]

I don't think you're being selfish or ungrateful at all, this is borderline harassment! If you've told him you don't fancy him there's not much you can do, if he's set his ~heart~ on you then you're doing the right thing by not replying/blocking him. The mutual friends you have, would they be pissed at you if you blocked him, because surely they understand he's coming on so strongly and you don't even slightly reciprocate then that's hardly your fault. If he is spreading lies about how you lead him on all the time, the friends that believe him obviously aren't good friends. One of them must have given him your address, bit weird if you ask me.

I knew this guy was creepy but w o w.

[FlyingJesus]

i don't wanna do it publically because like i say his friends are right ******** and i just know how they'll react to it. n don't want to do that to him anyway? i don't wanna be like "your friend is a freak", cause they've all been friends with him longer than they've been friends with me. i really dunno :(

Going to uni, you'll get new friends and you don't need the company of people who tell you that a guy who buys you flowers has the right to get in your pants whenever he wants because he's essentially bought you. I know it's difficult obv but having new chums will (hopefully) make it easier to break away and not care so much about Banffians


M? omg if i knew you didnt feel the same way id have stopped :P

It's act about Myke, their foundations are crumbling through his fingers

[buttons]

true tom. my friends here are horrible. but ashleigh will always be my best friend and her and her boyfriend are closest to him. when the baby is born i'm god mum (which they joke M will be god father..) and we'll all have to be together for head wetting etc. thankfully she's been a bit better about the M situation like not inviting me to places with him incase it's awkward and she's the one most likely to stick up for me over it.

also guys he's changed his twitter name to JGN1F. am i being paranoid or do i have the right to be concerned? JG = my initials. maybe the N1F could be for jenNIFer. lol well i guess it's good to be paranoid in these situations. gonna ask what it's about and grab my opportunity to get the hell away from him. as for getting the police etc and it being harassment, everyone sees it as a joke and loves him regardless cause he's so harmless IRL. it's just all over the ******* internet where most people won't see (as most stuff is written on skype). the only person who thinks this is creepy is my mum's friend who knows his sister. mum thinks it's nice he does this.

oh cmon... i haven't replied to him on skype for a long time. or on twitter. and want to keep it that way. so he's literally just tweeted about not getting a reply and i told him he gives me backhanded compliments earlier so he's just written about that too. this is a 32 year old grown man, i'm a 19 year old girl. i shouldn't feel bad for rejecting him, should i? :S

[FlyingJesus]

true tom. my friends here are horrible. but ashleigh will always be my best friend and her and her boyfriend are closest to him. when the baby is born i'm god mum (which they joke M will be god father..) and we'll all have to be together for head wetting etc. thankfully she's been a bit better about the M situation like not inviting me to places with him incase it's awkward and she's the one most likely to stick up for me over it.

Even if he is godfather it doesn't necessarily mean you have to see him loads, I mean realistically how often are you head wetting? It might not be much fun but it is def possible to stay close to people who also happen to be close to people you hate, happened with my bff's ex we all hated her but saw him anyway and as long as the people involved know the score it ought to be ok realllllly

[Swearwolf]

get a trusted male friend and change to in a relationship on facebook

[GoldenMerc]

Jen just carry on being you, don't let little girls (your goony friends) tell you otherwise, aslong as you know your not leading him on then just be happy

[FlyingJesus]

get a trusted male friend and change to in a relationship on facebook

Funny you should say that...

[Swearwolf]

i hear she trusts you tom

[FlyingJesus]

Been together more than 3 months now xoxoxo

[Futz]

I'm not reading any of the other comments because they're so long but heres my 10 cents

He's too old for you so you shouldn't get into a relationship with him, you've already ****** him over by leading him on for so long and letting him do this (females need to stop doing this), the best thing you can do now is to just cut contact with him and end it, tell him straight and stop being so harsh

it's not complicated so stop making it

i'm not trying to be harsh but you need to hear it

[FlyingJesus]

Wow you obviously didn't even read the first post lol

[Futz]

durrr my name flyingjesus and i have to comment on everything

[dirrty]

I'm not reading any of the other comments because they're so long but heres my 10 cents

He's too old for you so you shouldn't get into a relationship with him, you've already ****** him over by leading him on for so long and letting him do this (females need to stop doing this), the best thing you can do now is to just cut contact with him and end it, tell him straight and stop being so harsh

it's not complicated so stop making it

i'm not trying to be harsh but you need to hear it
age doesn't matter when two people understand each others motives (after the youngest is a certain age, it is legit just a number). you do realise guys can also lead girls on? brb gonna turn into a feminist and start shouting misogyny!!!!!11

[FlyingJesus]

I apologise for actually wanting to help rather than blaming the victim

[Futz]

age doesn't matter when two people understand each others motives (after the youngest is a certain age, it is legit just a number). you do realise guys can also lead girls on? brb gonna turn into a feminist and start shouting misogyny!!!!!11

this is what you want to believe

@FlyingJesus damn man you're so lame

[dirrty]

this is what you want to believe

@FlyingJesus damn man you're so lame
not what i want to believe, what i know.

[buttons]

I'm not reading any of the other comments because they're so long but heres my 10 cents

He's too old for you so you shouldn't get into a relationship with him, you've already ****** him over by leading him on for so long and letting him do this (females need to stop doing this), the best thing you can do now is to just cut contact with him and end it, tell him straight and stop being so harsh

it's not complicated so stop making it

i'm not trying to be harsh but you need to hear it
too old for me? maybe he should start acting it?
I HAVE NOT LED HIM ON. HE UNDERSTANDS WE WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER. HE GIVES ME ADVICE ON A GUY I LIKE. WE HAVE MUTUAL FRIENDS SO I CAN'T CUT CONTACT LIKE THAT. TO GO FROM TWEETING/SKYPING ME EVERY DAY - WHERE I DON'T REPLY - WILL BE HARSHER ON HIM. HE TALKS AND WRITES ABOUT ME CONSTANTLY. I'M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO TELL HIM IT'S IRRITATING ME BUT I'VE ALWAYS SAID I DON'T FANCY HIM AND NEVER WILL. THERE IS NOTHING TO END AS I AM NOT AND DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
god. hope that cleared it up.
you sound so bitter, did you get led on then let down by a girl or something


also @Swearwolf (http://www.habboxforum.com/member.php?u=20860); i've been in a relationship with tom on fbook for quite a while and he liked it and even commented on it LOL but then i guess my friend's said it was a joke.. ive dated people since he liked me and also been with one of his friends, doesn't stop him. he thinks he's protecting me from of all these guys who are going to 'take advantage' of me or be rude about me (ie his friends who hate me cause he never shuts the **** up about me and goes as far as to punch one of them for insulting me ALLEGEDLY, he's a compulsive liar) when i need protected from him.

[Inseriousity.]

are you sure this guy is 32, why does he act like a 13 year old lol.

[Futz]

not what i want to believe, what i know.

you are not free


too old for me? maybe he should start acting it?
I HAVE NOT LED HIM ON. HE UNDERSTANDS WE WILL NEVER BE TOGETHER. HE GIVES ME ADVICE ON A GUY I LIKE. WE HAVE MUTUAL FRIENDS SO I CAN'T CUT CONTACT LIKE THAT. TO GO FROM TWEETING/SKYPING ME EVERY DAY - WHERE I DON'T REPLY - WILL BE HARSHER ON HIM. HE TALKS AND WRITES ABOUT ME CONSTANTLY. I'M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO TELL HIM IT'S IRRITATING ME BUT I'VE ALWAYS SAID I DON'T FANCY HIM AND NEVER WILL. THERE IS NOTHING TO END AS I AM NOT AND DO NOT WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.
god. hope that cleared it up.
you sound so bitter, did you get led on then let down by a girl or something


Nah I just proper hate it when girls pretend to be oblivious to it

seriously, you just need to tell him straight up that you want him to stop all the **** he does like tweeting, skyping and giftng you etc, say you can still be friends when you see each other IRL but nothing more

it's the only way out or you're getting married

@FlyingJesus
you're still a massive loser

[Niall!]

Grow out your stache bbe. Nothing puts them off like rocking a lemmy.

[buttons]

he's seen me in some right states it's amazing he still likes me
just tweeted me that he was outside my door. not sure if lyrics...... sitting in a dark room right now ******** my pants
cause leading someone on (which i didn't) means they can be creepy as hell?

[-Nick]

Play flirty with another guy... Tell him there was never anything brewing :(

[Niall!]

he's seen me in some right states it's amazing he still likes me
just tweeted me that he was outside my door. not sure if lyrics...... sitting in a dark room right now ******** my pants
cause leading someone on (which i didn't) means they can be creepy as hell?

Er, call the police jen. This guy is going to murder you or worse.

[Fawnicate]

Do Seinfeld's famous "pick."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU3Q4nRWq7I

[Demi]

I think you should invite him for a coffee or whatever one day, in a public place, to talk about it. Be honest, it's the best and only way.

My ex still stalks me now but the Police are involved and my life is so much easier.

However, you obviously enjoyed the attention and heck everybody does! Seriously though, if he can't leave you alone talk to your friends about it, talk to everyone you trust about it, little hints here and there will help.
On the other hand he's 32, he is probably in the age gap that he wants something serious and he's latching on to you and thinking that it will happen.

There is no easy way, you will have to let him down the hard way or no way.

[A4R0N]

jennyjukes m8 ily

Edited by Lee (Forum Super Moderator): Please don't post pointlessly.

[DryRash]

He really has a thing for you, It sounds harsh but you have to tell him straight in the face your not that bothered with him, Yeah you will still talk and have a drink with him like you said, But he needs to let go and move on try another girl because he has no point in trying if he has been trying that hard and your still not bothered so obviously he should of realised by now that your not interesting in him, His friends kind of make it worse trying to encourage you but if a women has said no, She has said no, Im believe you and me I learnt that off my Girl Friend D: -Scary- xD

My advice is crap but take it in note, Tell him and tell him and if he carries on ignore him, If your friends ask why, Just say what happened, Im sure if their friends the'll understand!

[Richie]

This is coming from me.. a man that knows nothing in regards to relationships..

Poems? He needs to get a grip. I always thought things like poems make me cringe. He's 31, you may have led him on but you've also told him straight out it'll never happen. He seems desperate for love. If I were you I'd just block him and let people ask questions, I know it sounds like a terrible thing to do BLOCK SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET but in all seriousness, if he doesn't get the point, make it clearer by removing him from everything


wow i'm a heartless ****

[kuzkasate]

he sounds like the sort of guy who will never give up, so what you need to do is be a bit blunt and actually, be rude as well but say something along the lines of 'look, you're really starting to annoy me now, i don't like you and im sorry but i will never be able to go out with you and if you don't stop, then we will stop talking for good and we won't even be friends' so like kinda give him an ultimatum, either stay friends and shut up about it and move on, or get lost. you should tell your friends/his friends that are trying to force you into this relationship to **** off, just be a bit rude as well and say you don't like him at all and it's really starting to piss you off and upset you - they'll get the message, there's nothing else you can really do you just need to make sure everyone gets the message. it doesn't mean you're heartless or selfish at all, it's your life and they are your decisions, otherwise you might as well get an arranged marriage but GOOD LUCK TELL ME HOW IT GOES

[buttons]

On the other hand he's 32, he is probably in the age gap that he wants something serious and he's latching on to you and thinking that it will happen.
this exactly. we all think this is the reason for it but we try to set him up with people more his age and he's not interested.
anyway i protected my tweets and unfollowed him. haven't heard of him saying anything to anyone about it yet and there's been nothing said by him so he either hasn't noticed or just doesn't give a ****. i went to tell one friend that i'd deleted him and she was "oooh talking about him again". ridiculous. then she started texting him asking him to come out with us when i said no and telling him i was there so he should come out urgh. i did tell her i'm serious about it and to stop it and she's said okay.

think part of me just loved the attention and didn't want to tell him to go away cause finally someone likes me even in the states he's seen me in etc but mehhh. it's not right.

think it's all sorted... for now. if he does come back harassing me i know it's serious and won't be scared to tell him to **** off.
thanks guys, +rep

[Metric1]

get free stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he sounds like a pred tho

[Demi]

get free stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he sounds like a pred tho

This is true also.

[Teabags]

get a bf.
you can still be friends with this chappy? Or don't you want to be associated with the potential alcoholic, whose clinging to people a decade younger than he is?

[Charz777]

Sounds a bit stalkerish and full-on. I'd say to keep telling him, but clearly he's not taking the hint.

He's a friend right, so do you still want to be friends? Is he the sort you want to keep in your life? If not then you could cut him out, but as you say with mutal friends that's hard and awkward and to be honest a bit harsh. But if he's being far to over the top then that's probably not a bad idea if it fits the situation.

If you still want to be friends you've got to grit your teeth, sit down and have the tediously awkward conversation. Get your point across that he's crowding you and being more-than-a-friend and to be honest a bit creepy. He might take a bit of an ego bashing though. But, he can't just expect you to be his because he wants it, he needs to respect you and your choice. If you're not attracted, you're just not attracted. End of.

[buttons]

he's not my friend, he's that friend everyone laughs at. i was there for the free drinks.

anyway updatee. protected my tweets, blocked then unblocked so he was no longer followin me. one week later, he requests to follow. he's also moved on to one of my friends according to his twitter (OKAY SO I'M THE STALKER NOW). she was one of the girls saying "just go out with him" or "ooh its just a laugh". let's see how she likes it. srsly lets just revel in his romantic words to her;


" I see you! You are what life should be! Beautiful!"
"the only joy I have in life is the thought of your smile! My heart melts at the thought of it"
"f dreams where always of you I would smash myself in the head and keep myself in a coma"
" you don't need her number! Just look.to the heavens and you will see that angel!"
"ats weak! Rachael you are what dreams should be! But I can't imagine a dream as good ad you!"
"I am ad deep as you are beautiful! It can't be said in words but only felt in your soul!"
"you looked how pretty girls should! Pretty and pure of soul!"
"pretty sure your dress was well tight last night? I I notice this ****! I am a man after all!"
"you make me understand music! Before you it was just noise"
FlyingJesus; look he downgraded to rachael


TOTALLY JEALOUS IT WAS ALL A LIE TO ME :(

[FlyingJesus]

She'll enjoy it prob, they deserve each other

[buttons]

yeah she's all "awww that's cute" "you're so funny" but they were arguing yesterday and she was callin him a creep. i'm just gonna do what she did to me saying she likes him infront of everyone and to go out with him lol but knowing her she'll say i'm jealous.

[kuzkasate]

sounds like he's a desperate virgin and wants some luvin'

picked the wrong ones though lol

[Casanova]

No matter how much you imply or state you haven't instigated this you've admitted, even if a little passively that you have goaded or made an implication to appreciating or wanting his attention.

the problem you have is like anyone, we all like attention but the problem is being like that - the attention.

Flattery is the easiest form of manipulation. We do it for a better feeling in ourselves and it's actually a backhanded way for YOU to make HIM feel better about himself.


You need to be straight with him. Invite him over, explain the situation - you're currently in a difficult place where YES you've instigated his affection in some cases but only because you wanted to feel better about yourself. Not in an ignorant way but because as friends it created a better bond between you. You enjoy and like his company and feel as a friend he's a good one - but as a friend is all you can offer. As for his over riding affection and deep setted feelings for you they're unwarranted. You feel it's ruining your impression of him and that the friendship you like and WANT from him is being deeply affected by the fact he's making you feel negative because he's not letting you breath.

If he let's go, moves on and leaves it where it is you'll be able to be his friend and have a better relationship otherwise he will truly lose you as you'll have no choice but just to cut him out and lose contact with other friends because of this.

Of course you could explain it better with better personal bits such as who you'll lose through it, why it's not suited and why you feel he's not right. But either way it just won't happen.



As for your friends being heavy handed and out of order with their implications explain to them that they KNOW he's not right and he's not your type. That he isn't going to be anything more than a friend and he's taking you wrong for what you want and desire.

Ignore the unimportant ones. Problem with being pretty is you're expected to be a **** tease, expected to be hardly obtainable but then you're frigid if you don't give out or have relationships. It's catch 22. you're a **** if you give out, you're frigid if you don't.




As for your low esteem you'll find this is probably due to your home life. Normally it's a mother problem for girls? Why not see if you can discuss with your mum how you feel. By creating a better bond (even though it might seem you have one the now... that won't be the case?) on a new level as you're now an adult she might let you have more freedom and not give you back handed insults now and again. She need's a new mind set.

break the mould.