HIV

[Isparian]

Okay so I’m going to post on a semi-anonymous account for soon to be obvious reason. This is the first time I've ever talked about this and I don’t know what I’m hoping to gain from it but I need to get it out. I recently got back from travelling South America which was awesome but I came into a little altercation…

I was in a nightclub dancing with a hell hot girl and unknowingly to me, her mafia-related ex boyfriend and all his boys were right there (just a jealousy act, damn females… white guy in a foreign country). Anyways I went to the bathroom and found myself surrounded by 4-5 guys pushing me around and felt a ***** however I couldn't locate it so I disregarded it (error 1: high/drunk in unknown environment… don’t be a starry eyed tourist, world isn't your oyster).

Next morning the swelling/bruising came up and I realized I’d been stabbed with a needle/syringe. Very subtly but nonetheless the evidence was there. I was instantly paranoid and freaked out… it definitely ruined the rest of my trip but there wasn't much I could do about it (error 2: get travel insurance… I skimped out on buying). Not that there was anything insurance could do about it seeing as the one possible thing I could have caught was the status of HIV positive.

Whilst the obvious thing to do is get tested, I can’t yet due to the 3 month incubation period. I have to wait another 2 months before anything happens. A month after I was attacked I developed an extremely strange flu which is synonymous with the early symptoms of HIV (the acute infection or w/e, Google it). I’m really hoping it’s just the result of a poor diet and an 18 day bender however it keeps nagging at me that it’s HIV. I feel so freaking alone right now… I can’t tell anyone. The shame and embarrassment is overwhelming.

I know there is absolutely nothing I can gain by making this post but hopefully writing about it will give me some solace. I don’t think I’ve deserved this… If I end up being right, I've thrown away my youth. I’m disgusted in myself.

[Inseriousity.]

There's a theory that says you find what you want to find. So you've convinced yourself you've got HIV from this needle and so now everything wrong with you physically you put it down to that. Sadly, I don't really think there's any advice you could get (but I think you know this) that will make this feeling go away until you know for sure either way. Good luck and I hope it turns out to be a false alarm.

[Kieran]

Sounds to me, like Mike said that you've convinced yourself that you have HIV. Just try and forget about it (easy said than done I know) until you can get it tested, then you'll know for sure.

[Matthew]

I know this is probably easier said than done but I think you need to try to forget about it (as kieran said).

If you can't find out for sure until 2 months away, IMO there's no point you just worrying yourself to death for the next two months- it'll do you no good at all.

Also I agree with Mike, you've probably just been thinking "what if I've got HIV..." "I've probably got HIV..." etc that you've just conned yourself into believing you've got it even before there's anything to prove it.

Have you had an initial test yet? On the NHS site it says you should have an initial test immediately, and then have another a few weeks later.

Good luck!

[Demi]

I know this is probably easier said than done but I think you need to try to forget about it (as kieran said).

If you can't find out for sure until 2 months away, IMO there's no point you just worrying yourself to death for the next two months- it'll do you no good at all.

Also I agree with Mike, you've probably just been thinking "what if I've got HIV..." "I've probably got HIV..." etc that you've just conned yourself into believing you've got it even before there's anything to prove it.

Have you had an initial test yet? On the NHS site it says you should have an initial test immediately, and then have another a few weeks later.

Good luck!

Along with Matts, there is a way for your GPs to find out from many symptoms and stuff, might be worth a try.

[Samantha]

What I find and it's probably different to many is that if I'm convinced something negative will happen or something that will stop me doing something I would like to do then it will. This has occurred many times when I've been going out with my boyfriend and I then have to rearrange from being called into work or vice versa yet if I try not to think about it and don't attempt to jinx it then it usually works.

Yeah, in your case it will be extremely difficult to not think about it as your problem is something physical more than mine at least, I would try attempt to do something to pass the time when you find yourself thinking about it, make yourself busy or something just to try and push it to the back of your mind. You're not alone though and speaking to people will help, whether it be a friend, doctor or family member.

[-:Undertaker:-]

Oh my god, I really really hope all turns out well for you mate. I can't even begin to imagine how terrifying that is and as the others said, you should try and keep a cool head about it otherwise you'll worry yourself sick. I know you'll want reassurance here but I would ask if it's not HIV why would they have *****ed you with a syringe?

But i've just done some reading (and obviously) you'll have done much more than me and I read that even in a needle attack, there's only a 1 in a 300 chance of infection. As for your cold, again that does seem strange and in line with being infected - however I would say that you ought to bear in mind that you have been to a hot south american country - and usually when the climate changes/you've been around lots of different people, you're likely to come down with a cold. I notice myself patterns in season changes set me off with colds. So thats just likely a coincidence.

Hope all goes well, apparently you can have an instant test though and then one after 3 months - so maybe you ought to go for the initial test just for some peace of mind? the best of luck to you, my heart literally sank reading this.

[Stephen]

Well at least if you do have it then it wasn't from bumsex

[Kieran]

Well at least if you do have it then it wasn't from bumsex

Hardly appropriate Stephen :l

[AlexJRiley]

Oh wow i'm very sorry to hear that but like everybody has said, see your gp, get tested for every possible thing it could be. Your gp will probably send you for a blood test. Lets just hope it is just some illness that you've caught due to your 18 day bender, because immune systems are very vulnerable whilst intoxicated so lets hope its just the flu or something. Good luck though wishing you all the best!

[wixard]

Oh wow i'm very sorry to hear that but like everybody has said, see your gp, get tested for every possible thing it could be. Your gp will probably send you for a blood test. Lets just hope it is just some illness that you've caught due to your 18 day bender, because immune systems are very vulnerable whilst intoxicated so lets hope its just the flu or something. Good luck though wishing you all the best!

he never mentioned 18 days....
oh wait he didid you're lucky this time

[GoldenMerc]

is this tara, always imagined her having this.
get yourself, brain teases and tortures.

[Isparian]

Thanks for everyone's support. I've been reviewing the statistics and they generally are in my favor but it's not something you really want to put aside to luck when your future is riding on it.


Well at least if you do have it then it wasn't from bumsex

**** off.


is this tara, always imagined her having this.
get yourself, brain teases and tortures.

You've always been a bit ******ed when it comes to posting anything remotely sensible.

[scottish]

If you google something wrong with you you'll always find some severe issue so just ignore it until you can get tested.

[AgnesIO]

Well at least if you do have it then it wasn't from bumsex

Absolutely moronic comment.

---

Firstly, I am sorry that you have ended up with this possibility. Got to say it was pretty stupid to not have got travel insurance - but that is sort of irrelevant here, as it would be void if you said you were high anyway. But you can't turn back time, and I don't want to sound like I am simply rubbing salt on the wounds.

Also, it would be worth noting that if the worst comes to the worst your future is NOT over because of HIV - people can live almost perfectly normal lives with HIV, particularly easily in the developed world. Did you get checked out by a doctor with this "flu"? Were you literally stuck in bed? THe word for what you have done is "cyberchondriac" (ie. someone who looks up symptoms on the internet for either a real or imaginary illness). I think this is something most people probably do, for example, when in Africa the first thing I have always thought with a fever is "****, is it Malaria"? Have you alerted your local GP of the situation thus far?

[Yawn]

whats shameful and embarrassing about being poked with a needle not ur fault

[Isparian]

Absolutely moronic comment.

---

Firstly, I am sorry that you have ended up with this possibility. Got to say it was pretty stupid to not have got travel insurance - but that is sort of irrelevant here, as it would be void if you said you were high anyway. But you can't turn back time, and I don't want to sound like I am simply rubbing salt on the wounds.

Also, it would be worth noting that if the worst comes to the worst your future is NOT over because of HIV - people can live almost perfectly normal lives with HIV, particularly easily in the developed world. Did you get checked out by a doctor with this "flu"? Were you literally stuck in bed? THe word for what you have done is "cyberchondriac" (ie. someone who looks up symptoms on the internet for either a real or imaginary illness). I think this is something most people probably do, for example, when in Africa the first thing I have always thought with a fever is "****, is it Malaria"? Have you alerted your local GP of the situation thus far?

The sickness is hardly what I'm worried about. Thankfully, advances in the medical industry have made it extremely manageable and life expectancy is similar to uninfected people (and starting to be higher due to the healthy lifestyle shift). The complete lifestyle/social/financial/emotional ****storm that entails is probably my biggest nightmare.

Anyways - out of sight, out of mind. This will be a long couple of months.

[AgnesIO]

whats shameful and embarrassing about being poked with a needle not ur fault

The stigma of HIV is unfortunately something that does need to be worked on.

Even in many African states where it is prevalent :(