Popping the cherry: Is virginity something to be proud of or ashamed of?

[-:Undertaker:-]

Popping the cherry: Is virginity something to be proud or ashamed of?

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/screencrush.com/files/2012/06/retro-virgin.jpg

A certain thread on Habbox Forum got me thinking of this, and I was talking to a friend about this too - she commented on how she knows a handful of guys who are still virgins whereas she hardly knows any girls at around the age of 19 to 23 who are still virgins. In today's society, virginity over the age of 18 is largely looked down upon as sex becomes more common among younger and younger age groups.

But is virginity something to be ashamed of? Many who are virgins by choice rather than just having no luck with the opposite (or, in politically correct 2013, the same sex) actually feel proud that they are 'saving' themselves for the right person, abstaining for religious reasons or just don't yet feel quite right to take the plunge.

But what do you think? Is virginity over the age of around 18 something to be ashamed of, or does it only have a bad reputation because it tends to be associated with - to put it blankly - 'losers' who can't get anyone into bed?


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The debate is open to you.

[sex]

No its not really, depends on the person and how they think of it i suppose. I know a lot of guys would think their friends where losers if they were still virgins over the age of 18. Girls can be a little different i guess!

i wish i kept mine for someone special :'(

not some horrible boy


ps; can i pop your cherry dan

[Yawn]

virginity is special and so important :Heart:

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/screencrush.com/files/2012/06/retro-virgin.jpg

[iGenius]

To me, I'm 21 in like... 30 days and I'm still a virgin. I haven't had sex, I've done "stuff" but not the actual act of Sex. Personally, I'm not bothered. It's going to happen when its going to happen and rushing into it with someone who I might not want to be with, is a stupid idea.

People at work and Uni go on "oh mate, we need to get you laid.. " and "Hey check out this girl, she's up for a one night stand"... Ill be honest, I've never considered a one night stand and Its not something I'd want to consider. I don't look at a woman and think of them as a "good ****", or "wow what a nice piece of meat" which far too many people these days do.

When I look for a partner I look for someone who I could see myself with in X years, and that I could have a decent relationship with. Yes, alright at the age of 20 how likely is it I'll still be with a partner in 5 years, not very, but if I've had a year or two with someone, and it hasn't worked out, thats not a bad thing. I don't look for a girlfriend, just so i can get a ****.

Right now, sex and my virginity is on my mind, and not because I'm desperate to have it, but mostly because there is too much pressure on young people and sex in this day and age. Being nearly 21 and still a virgin is not something I'm overly proud of, I do get worried that when it comes to get round to it, if the girl i'm with notices, will she run away? There are all sorts of different worries.

It does disgust me knowing that kids between the ages of 12 - and 15 are potentially having sex, and that people are not as romantic about is as they used too be. Its all about bragging and being the best at something.

Is virginity over the age of around 18 something to be ashamed of, or does it only have a bad reputation because it tends to be associated with - to put it blankly - 'losers' who can't get anyone into bed?: Personally i don't think it is anything to be ashamed off, I think its just a matter of choice. If you want to have sex, no doubt you'd go out and try. I have commonly thought of myself as a "Loser" who can't get anyone into bed, but as I said above, my goal in life isn't to get a ****.

[-Moniquee.]

Definitely something to be proud of, I think in todays society too many people lose their virginity for the sake of it. I think having virginity shows you have respect for yourself.

[Inseriousity.]

Ideally, it'd be neither shameful or something to be proud of. It's not really anyone's business so I don't think that it's reasonable for male virgins having to defend their masculinity or promiscuous females having to feel ashamed.

I'm a virgin, I'm not proud or ashamed of that, it's just a fact.

[Kardan]

Definitely something to be proud of, I think in todays society too many people lose their virginity for the sake of it. I think having virginity shows you have respect for yourself.

So your parents should be ashamed because they are not virgins? And they have no respect?

[Absently]

So your parents should be ashamed because they are not virgins? And they have no respect?

Yeah I was thinking similar to you. It's in no way shameful not to be a virgin either.. Whether it was right or wrong


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[Shar]

What does society want?
If you've lost your virginity and slept with many different people you turn into a ****. If you're a virgin..."OMG YOU'RE A VIRGIN WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" This is just a overplayed stereotype I'm using as an expample - it's not necessarily true.
In my opinion it shouldn't matter but as long as media and human nature exists if you're in either end of the spectrum it will matter.
I personally am not ashamed and I don't feel the need to explain the reason to anyone.

[Rachel]

I lost my virginity at 17 almost 18 years old and I do not regret that I done it. I am still with the same guy today and I am proud. Although for what I can see especially our generations that if you don't get laid you don't fit in the cool group.......really and there is no such thing as being a cool person when you lose your virginity.

You do it when you are ready even if you are in the late 20's, 30's or 40's, if you think you are not ready don't rush it. Sex is something you should enjoy and not regret that you did it. Don't listen to those who say aweful things about your sexual life, I would simply say my sexual life is my personal opinion and choice. This is you and this is me.

[Chippiewill]

So your parents should be ashamed because they are not virgins? And they have no respect?

I know they worded it poorly but playing dumb to what they obviously meant makes you an ********.

[Inseriousity.]

So your parents should be ashamed because they are not virgins? And they have no respect?

Bit harsh, it's clear the question is about losing your virginity at a young age (Unless she's said elsewhere that her parents had her early in which case ignore me)!

[Absently]

I lost my virginity at 17 almost 18 years old and I do not regret that I done it. I am still with the same guy today and I am proud. Although for what I can see especially our generations that if you don't get laid you don't fit in the cool group.......really and there is no such thing as being a cool person when you lose your virginity.

You do it when you are ready even if you are in the late 20's, 30's or 40's, if you think you are not ready don't rush it. Sex is something you should enjoy and not regret that you did it. Don't listen to those who say aweful things about your sexual life, I would simply say my sexual life is my personal opinion and choice. This is you and this is me.

Around here from what I'm used to, losing your virginity didn't make you 'cool' you lost it and that was that, it was no ones business to know and didn't matter too much. Of course people are generally intrigued but that's as far as it goes


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[Demi]

Definitely something to be proud of, I think in todays society too many people lose their virginity for the sake of it. I think having virginity shows you have respect for yourself.

I have to agree to a certain level to this.
Though at a dis-agreement everyone will have sex when they choose to, whether at X (younger age) or Y (older age) it is just a shame that people think that if you haven't had sex you aren't worth of Z (whatever they think you're not worth of).
At the same time, just because you haven't lost your virginity doesn't mean you have respect for yourself - I have lost mine a long time ago, doesn't mean I don't have respect for myself.

[MKR&*42]

Can I just say neither. I think there's a bit of stigma amongst older teens/young adults to lose your virginity, but for me it's just one of those things that I find "meh". Wouldn't ever judge anyone over it and nor should anyone feel ashamed for ever losing it as its their own decision (excluding rape cases obviously) :P

[jorsian]

Each and every one of us lives a unique lifestyle and has personal goals. There are certain groups within Western society (notably white college students) who rush to lose their virginity. There are others, such as highly pious individuals, who would rather wait until matrimony. There is no correct answer.

If you want my personal opinion, I understand the fuss over losing virginity. It's looked upon as a status symbol among young adults--something that has a certain pride to it. Courting a mate is an achievement, and like any achievement, it is meant to be shown off. It baffles me, though, because it's insanely easy for one to bluff about virginity loss, even if it's not the case. I'm sure a lot of people lie about it just to gain admiration from their peers.

[Kardan]

Bit harsh, it's clear the question is about losing your virginity at a young age (Unless she's said elsewhere that her parents had her early in which case ignore me)!

Her reply didn't state anything about a young age which was my point really... It all depends on age. If you're 14, then having your virginity probably does show some respect for yourself. If you're 28, perhaps not so much.

[-:Undertaker:-]

I remember in around Year 8 people would go around asking and like EVERYONE would reply, in their squeaky voices, yeah. :P

[GoldenMerc]

I think it matters, yes

[Kyle]

It's never really been a huge topic of conversation within my friend groups and as we grow older I guess we either just assume that everybody's done it or don't actually care. To attach stigma to such a basic act is silly, people are so obsessed withthe lives and actions of others today that they are ignoring the important things in their own lives. I know a few people that haven't lost their virginity yet (aged 18-25) and most are indifferent about the whole thing, it's not exactly a defining characteristic.

[bkps]

Well, in my opinion, virginity is something to be proud of. The fact that society nowadays believes that at the age of 18 being a virgin is 'uncool' or whatever is quite sickening. A lot of people lie about their virginity because they fear they'll be judged, and it is true but i think people should treasure their virginities, lose it to someone they trust. Sex is not just sex, it can't just be meaningless, it's more about the love making and the bond you're making with the other person.

[Special]

proud, most people can have sex whenever they want now days, the achievement is turning it down

unless you get to a certain age lol

[lawrawrrr]

It depends from person to person. I don't think there's anything shameful in losing your virginity at any age, and the social pressures some people feel can be really horrible and make people rush into things they might not be ready for. People should lose their virginity when they feel like they're ready, no rushing, no pressure etc. Even the words like ****, **** (idk what's filtered these days, terms for a promiscuous woman) are arbitrary in my point of view, people should have sex as much, or as little as they want.

TL;DR, there's no shame in sex and we should stop pretending like there is.

[0pposit3]

I think virginity is nothing to be ashamed of, clearly i'm old school but if you don't love someone don't have it, i know i sound old but come on, it's called making love for a reason. maybe i feel this way because i'm worried i will never love it but life goes on. everyones different and i don't think it should be frowned upon. losing it at the age of 10-12 should be frowned upon (no offense to anyone who this has happened to) because firstly its illegal and secondly how do you know what you're doing? i certainly wouldn't even know how to approach doing it. thats my opinion anyway and most of you will think i'm frigit and wrong but it is what it is.

[Happy-Tomato]

there is a fine line where it is and isnt OK to lose your virginity. I'll map it out based on my opinion

ABSOLUTELY NOT OK:
10 Years Old
11 Years Old
12 Years Old
NOT OK:
13 Years Old
14 Years Old
15 Years Old
OK:
16 Years Old
17 Years Old
A BIT SILLY IF YOU HAVENT LOST IT:
18 Years Old
19 Years Old

[lawrawrrr]

there is a fine line where it is and isnt OK to lose your virginity. I'll map it out based on my opinion

ABSOLUTELY NOT OK:
10 Years Old
11 Years Old
12 Years Old
NOT OK:
13 Years Old
14 Years Old
15 Years Old
OK:
16 Years Old
17 Years Old
A BIT SILLY IF YOU HAVENT LOST IT:
18 Years Old
19 Years Old

A bit silly if you haven't? Why is it silly?

[Happy-Tomato]

i didnt really mean it was SILLY, but it is pretty unheard of in this day and age.
A bit silly if you haven't? Why is it silly?

[lawrawrrr]

i didnt really mean it was SILLY, but it is pretty unheard of in this day and age.

Ah I see. I think it's actually more common than you'd think, because of the social pressures I think a lot of people lie, or exaggerate about when they did it. I know a lot of people even my age (20) who haven't lost it still. I'd say the average age is 17-21 tbh.

[Shar]

there is a fine line where it is and isnt OK to lose your virginity. I'll map it out based on my opinion

ABSOLUTELY NOT OK:
10 Years Old
11 Years Old
12 Years Old
NOT OK:
13 Years Old
14 Years Old
15 Years Old
OK:
16 Years Old
17 Years Old
A BIT SILLY IF YOU HAVENT LOST IT:
18 Years Old
19 Years Old
Excuse me but why is it silly? Have you accounted for abstinence etc?

[Happy-Tomato]

i didnt really mean it was SILLY, but it is pretty unheard of in this day and age.
Excuse me but why is it silly? Have you accounted for abstinence etc?

[Shar]

i didnt really mean it was SILLY, but it is pretty unheard of in this day and age.
I don't think it's as unheard of as you may think.

[Zelda]

i didnt really mean it was SILLY, but it is pretty unheard of in this day and age.

it really isnt that unheard of as you think really as people have said. like take my year at school, with people aged 17 and 18, like a very small minority aren't actually virgins, and a load of people of our age still havent even had our fist relationship yet really, the "cool kids" do not make up a majority at all.

[Yawn]

i didnt really mean it was SILLY, but it is pretty unheard of in this day and age.

how old r u babe?

[Kardan]

it really isnt that unheard of as you think really as people have said. like take my year at school, with people aged 17 and 18, like a very small minority aren't actually virgins, and a load of people of our age still havent even had our fist relationship yet really, the "cool kids" do not make up a majority at all.

I'd say more people have had sex by 18 then not had sex.

[Happy-Tomato]

14, but why should that matter?
how old r u babe?

[Yawn]

14, but why should that matter?

thought as much :)

[Zelda]

I'd say more people have had sex by 18 then not had sex.

Wouldnt disagree at all with that, but definitely still a good proportion that havent

[Ardemax]

there is a fine line where it is and isnt OK to lose your virginity. I'll map it out based on my opinion

ABSOLUTELY NOT OK:
10 Years Old
11 Years Old
12 Years Old
NOT OK:
13 Years Old
14 Years Old
15 Years Old
OK:
16 Years Old
17 Years Old
A BIT SILLY IF YOU HAVENT LOST IT:
18 Years Old
19 Years Old

So there is now a 2 age gap where you should really be losing your v-card, oh people

[Explorator]

There's tonnes of kids in the year below me at school who think that they are 'the thing' for having sex. I just find that a little stupid.

You should be rather proud to be a virgin, It means you are saving it for the right person at the right time.

There's nothing bad with people who have lost it either. It's just people that brag about it to other people and make people feel as if they aren't as cool as them because they haven't had sex.

[0pposit3]

I feel really upset reading half these comments, like I feel like I wont lose it as I only want to lose it with someone I love, not to be in the 'cool crowd' or just for the experiance :(

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[Phil]

I feel really upset reading half these comments, like I feel like I wont lose it as I only want to lose it with someone I love, not to be in the 'cool crowd' or just for the experiance :(

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You shouldn't feel upset at all. If anything, you should feel proud! I respect you for waiting for the person you love a lot more than the people who just throw it away because they think it's the cool thing to do. I don't think the age you lose it at is something to be ashamed of if you're older than average. Everyone should hold out for who they feel is the right person. I'm 20 now and only lost my v-card a few months ago to my girlfriend who I have been going out with for over two years. I couldn't care less that I was 20 when losing it even though some of my friends lost it at like 16. It doesn't make me a loser and you definitely should do it to be in the "cool crowd", it'd make you a fool.

Hold out for that person you love and you will be much happier, you will have a more pleasant experience with someone who loves and cares about you.

[0pposit3]

Aw thats sweet

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[Zak]

It's certainly not something to be ashamed of. I certainly wouldn't look down on anyone that was still a virgin in their 20s.. At the end of the day that's their decision and people should respect that.

I don't think society is helping. I'm sure in schools now many children think it's cool to talk about sex or think about doing it underage which is silly. I'm sure internet porn doesn't help either. Regardless I didn't really grow up with it being "in fashion" :P and I hadn't really watched any porn but I still managed to lose mine at a reasonable age.

[God]

Well if both parties concent to intercource then popping the cherry isn't bad. It's someones personal life and it shouldn't really matter. Just like if your Gay/str8/bi/lez. OO Btw since loss of virginity is defined by vaginal intercource then are gays are technically virgins??

[peteyt]

What it really comes down to is you. If you feel your ready to have sex then have sex but if your not then don't. Only you should decide when your ready not a partner or friends down to peer pressure.

If your a virgin because you haven't met the one or even because you simply haven't been lucky, why worry? As they say there's someone for everyone just don't rush in it for the sake of it if your unsure if your actually ready and if your not a virgin good for you.

[[Jay]]

Personality I believe there's nothing to be ashamed off if you haven't lost your virginity, matter fact I believe its a great thing. Virginity is something to be proud of and is something that you should really be ready for. Losing it at a young age does not work for the majority of people because they often don't choose the right person and usually break up with them. I do believe that losing your virginity should be with someone special. Virginity is talked down a lot in today's society and I feel not enough importance is placed on it.

Also I feel that virginity is more of an issue with males these days then females. I believe a lot more pressure is placed on males by society to lose their virginity young and be experienced which is stupid. I do not believe females will judge you if you are a virgin so do not feel pressured in anyway.


These are some interesting statistics taken from the BBC advice website:
According to a survey of sexually active young people ages 12 to 17*


63% of sexually active adolescents reported wishing they had waited longer before becoming sexually active.
78% of all adolescents surveyed believed adolescents should not be sexually active.
89% of those surveyed would advise their own brother, sister or friend not to have sex until at least after finishing secondary school.

[Kardan]

Well if both parties concent to intercource then popping the cherry isn't bad. It's someones personal life and it shouldn't really matter. Just like if your Gay/str8/bi/lez. OO Btw since loss of virginity is defined by vaginal intercource then are gays are technically virgins??

Just because both parties consent doesn't make it right, I think it's worth pointing that out.

[Vodafone]

Ive noticed on habbo americans seem to be a lot quicker to lose their Vs. However I think its rather trashy and a sign of low standards if you're quick to lose your virginity.

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[da363bomb]

I personally feel if you lose it with the right person then it is fine, such as if you have been with the girl/boy for ages then it is something to enhance your relationship and bring you together more. I don't think you should just randomly lose it to a stranger who you really don't know.

Overall the only way i believe people should lose it, is if they have been in a relationship and it has been like 4/5 months.