How does one..

[Liva]

Let their best friend of five years know that you don't appreciate your friendship anymore?
I don't know how to put it, but ever since she got a boyfriend we went from talking every day to hardly at all. I never talk to her much now, and I hardly see her now.
Surely this'll probably change a bit when we get back to school as she and her boyfriend is in our friendship group, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm annoyed at her lack of care. (This also means if I confide in her at all, I feel like I'm just feeding her gossip for her and the boyfriend to talk about)

OH AND TO MAKE MATTERS EVEN BETTER, I've talked to her about this in the past and it hasn't changed anything... help? It's gotten to the point where I don't even know if I want to be close with her again because she hasn't changed even though we've discussed it and as mentioned before, being uncomfortable to talk to her about anything? :/

[Cassiieee]

I had a friend like this back in school. All I done was avoided her. Until she came to realise, I was the one ignoring her not she.

We finally started to talk again a little, until we started to become best friends and hang out again. Her and her boyfriend were before both my friends. So, I never understood why I had to be sidetracked completely. But it all worked out in the end. Then she moved away and we all went our sperate ways again.

I don't think a best friend is for keeps. Probably just someone you're close to throughout school.

[Inseriousity.]

Find a new friend really. She will get the message but I don't think you can blame her too harshly, you end up in a relationship and you're so in love you lose a bit of perspective and your close friends can drift away until you snap out of it. It's happened to me before!

[Yupt]

I think it is one of those let it drift apart situations. Hang out with other people, you can still be friends just won't be as close as previously

[crystaldd0]

I have a friend like this. Known her for about 9 years now. Every time she gets a new boyfriend she completely ignores everything and everyone around her, and then when they break up she comes running back to our friendship and trying to hang out as much as possible, until she gets a new boyfriend! Then she goes back to ignoring everything and everyone again. It's a lather rinse repeat cycle. Even though it's mad shady that she only likes to come around when shes single and lonely, I've grown to accept that's just the type of person she is. We're not as close as we used to be, we've grown very distant from what we once was. But it is what it is!

[Charz777]

I don't want to be the horrible view point here, nor do I wish to upset you but I would like to share my view on this from a personal experience and I would have been in the position of your friend.

Firstly, how old are you and your friend? How long has she been in a relationship? Are they serious?

I ask this because when I was 16 I entered a relationship and nothing else in the world mattered. For some people that is a foolish move because they just end up breaking up and losing their friends. A lot of people live by the expression, 'boyfriends/girlfriends come and go but friends are for life.' I have to say it but I personally believe the exact opposite and I have done since I was 16 and fell in love. I wasn't a classic case though, because almost 5 years later I'm engaged to that same person, so some high school romances are for life.

When this does occur I'm afraid to say that friends are no long more important than love. Because when you consider that the boyfriend could possibly be your life partner, friends are the things that come and go. Could your friend be under the same influence that her boyfriend is the one person that she needs in her life? Could she be planning a lifetime together with him and making dreams with him?

It's hard to explain, and when friends get jealous or feel left out you don't want to admit that they are no longer your priority, especially when you have been best friends for years. But sometimes, love does win over friendship and that's what lasts and I'm sorry to say that the 'bros before ****, chicks before *****' thing doesn't always remain true.

Like I said, I don't want to upset you, I just thought it might help to see it from the other point of view. I really hope everything works out for you :)

[Liva]

Thanks for the views guys. :)


I don't want to be the horrible view point here, nor do I wish to upset you but I would like to share my view on this from a personal experience and I would have been in the position of your friend.

Firstly, how old are you and your friend? How long has she been in a relationship? Are they serious?

I ask this because when I was 16 I entered a relationship and nothing else in the world mattered. For some people that is a foolish move because they just end up breaking up and losing their friends. A lot of people live by the expression, 'boyfriends/girlfriends come and go but friends are for life.' I have to say it but I personally believe the exact opposite and I have done since I was 16 and fell in love. I wasn't a classic case though, because almost 5 years later I'm engaged to that same person, so some high school romances are for life.

When this does occur I'm afraid to say that friends are no long more important than love. Because when you consider that the boyfriend could possibly be your life partner, friends are the things that come and go. Could your friend be under the same influence that her boyfriend is the one person that she needs in her life? Could she be planning a lifetime together with him and making dreams with him?

It's hard to explain, and when friends get jealous or feel left out you don't want to admit that they are no longer your priority, especially when you have been best friends for years. But sometimes, love does win over friendship and that's what lasts and I'm sorry to say that the 'bros before ****, chicks before *****' thing doesn't always remain true.

Like I said, I don't want to upset you, I just thought it might help to see it from the other point of view. I really hope everything works out for you :)

That perspective was nice to hear. :)
They've been in a relationship since July, but have been on and off for the whole year before so I guess now they may be somewhat serious. And I totally can understand what you're saying having got into a relationship at 15 and almost 3 years later are feeling better than ever.

Although when I first got into the relationship, she voiced right at the start that my priorities had shifted and from then on I've been trying to not let my relationship ruin our friendship but unfortunately she didn't do the same thing. :S Since it's been almost 6 months that they've been together, I can't really say that they're still in the honeymoon phase. :/ Gonna have to get over it I suppose, and maybe just focus on my other friends, or my boyfriend since that's all she's doing. Maybe she'll come to realise that way?
Either that or the drift method. Just sucks because we've been friends longer than I've been with anyone, have experienced more with her than anyone (life wise, not love wise hahaha), and we've both said we can't imagine losing our friendship.

Just a life experience I guess. :)

[Empired]

Don't confront her. I've been there before and it never ends well because she won't even realise she's doing it so she won't understand that she's hurting you.

Like others have said, just drift apart. It'll be easier for both of you if you part friends rather than having an argument that can only end in tears. And maybe she'll come back to you later if she ever snaps out of this infatuation or breaks up with him.

[Yawn]

just subtly ignore her and see how long it takes for her to make the 1st move