Ways to get over someone...

[Glen Coco]

So in relation to a thread I did a while ago, it has come to my attention, after finding out about something else!!, that he is not good for me and our 'relationship' is going nowhere (the word relationship used because I don't know quite else how to name what we have, more like friends with benefits - but mainly me getting used).

I do not want to cut him out completely though, so please no "delete his number, facebook, twitter, ect." please.

[wixard]

should have listened to us!

the only way i can get over someone is by finding someone else to replace them, sadly
sorry i can't be of anymore help but this REALLY really works

[e5]

Honestly, from experience, time is the ultimate healer, I couldn't move on for toffee and always went back. Time goes by and you realise what you were letting yourself in for and it soon mends. Nothing else in my opinion helps anymore. Deleting numbers etc only makes you wonder what they're doing so you're always thinking about them, if you have the ability to check, you'll find yourself not doing so less and less if you be strong and stop seeing them and making contact.

I used to find random reasons to talk to my ex, but now realise I was wasting my time. I only learn this, again, as time went by.

[Sharon]

replacing them is the only thing that works for me, bad as it sounds if i didn't replace people within the first few days it would have just made me upset because i wouldn't of had any distractions n would have resorted to thinking bout them

[e5]

replacing them is the only thing that works for me, bad as it sounds if i didn't replace people within the first few days it would have just made me upset because i wouldn't of had any distractions n would have resorted to thinking bout them

It seems females best way if moving on is jumping into another lad haha :p

[sex]

if you keep talking to him youre not really going to get over him

when he sees you moving on hes probably going to cut contact and you will feel like an idiot for not doing it first

[Sharon]

It seems females best way if moving on is jumping into another lad haha :p

i don't really consider myself jumping!!! just speaking to someone new will make me feel better

[Futz]

give it time, it'll probably take you ages to get over him if you're not willing to stop talking to him

you'll probably find someone who meshes with you better eventually but if you keep holding onto what you have with this dude that keeps turning you out you probably wont

these threads are ******* ****
you aint willing to take any advice
it's like you just want the forum to know you're getting ******

[wixard]

give it time, it'll probably take you ages to get over him if you're not willing to stop talking to him

you'll probably find someone who meshes with you better eventually but if you keep holding onto what you have with this dude that keeps turning you out you probably wont

these threads are ******* ****
you aint willing to take any advice
it's like you just want the forum to know you're getting ******

did you get your period in the middle of typing this post

[Futz]

did you get your period in the middle of typing this post

yeah I started getting angry that I was legitimately replying to this post so I just pulled the plug and went with a contriversal ending

I like to keep it fresh for hxfers

what will Futz post next

fight me tara

[Inseriousity.]

What's the information? Obviously you don't have to say but if you don't want to take our advice and cut him out completely then my best advice would be to keep this information at the back of your mind, like a defense mechanism so every time it feels like you're getting too close you can remember it and it's enough to keep the barriers up without giving up on the person completely. So much effort though, it honestly would be easier if you just cut off all contact and proved to him that people will not put up with his **** so he should start acting better.

[Daltron]

find a nice rebound

[buttons]

well it's a start realising he's not good for u in a relationship
but u need to understand he's not good as a friend either
I agree with the girls, best way is to go out have fun find someone new (someone nice obv), maybe at that point u will realise he's not worthy of being in your life at all

[Glen Coco]

he was sort of my rebound from my ex of 3 years so i think that may be why I'm finding it hard to let go.
We have gotten really close which is why I don't want to cut him out completely, but i do agree that it's easier to move on if you've got someone else. It's just i find it so hard to like people, I'm so picky when it comes to guys.

@Inseriousity. in a nutshell; became friends with this lad, started sleeping together, got really close. I fell for him, he kept saying maybe one day we'll be together. Started seeing each other, he cut it off, few days later slept with a randomer ( i was also on this night out with him). He started dating people, dating his ex, sleeping with people but every time he got rejected he;d come back to me. we had really bad arguments - recently we've started to actually get on, were still sleeping together, he said some really horrid things to me, and back. But just found out he's slept with his ex again. ect.ect.ect. he is still changing his mind about 'us' - one day saying he thinks we'll be together, another day saying there's no chance.

That wasn't really a nutshell, but it's the best i can do really.

[sex]

*REMOVED*

Edited by iPhil (Forum Super Moderator): Please do not be rude to other memebers, thanks!

[Inseriousity.]

If you really want it in a nutshell, he's using you and you're letting him.

longer version:

He doesn't have to commit to anything because you're enabling his behaviour. Straight away, I'd say stop sleeping with this guy, see if he sticks around then. At least then you'll just be friends and if he does hang around with you, you'll know it'll be for your company not for your body. I'd also work on my self-esteem: you mention he's a rebound so have you got over your ex? do you find yourself clinging for affection even any scraps? why is that? are there any hobbies or interests that you could get involved with that are more about enjoying your own company rather than with a man? You don't have the power to change him but you have all the power to change your own mindset so that you're better protected from people who will take advantage of you. Reflect on who you think you are and work towards who you want to be. god I sound like a self-help book.

[sex]

too stupid to do anything about it? that's why I'm making it stop right now is it?
'but i don't care'... well goody for you, stop commenting and find something better to do then.

but you're not
you still want to be in contact with him when he has no problem it seems dropping you at the first chance he has when someone else gets involved!

even rihanna didn't cling to chris brown this much

[Glen Coco]

but you're not
you still want to be in contact with him when he has no problem it seems dropping you at the first chance he has when someone else gets involved!

even rihanna didn't cling to chris brown this much

well im not making an effort anymore. we were genuinely really good friends but obviously if he doesn't care we wont speak at all anymore.
maybe eventually we wont speak and wont know each other but i did still want to be friends

[sex]

he could kill your dog and feed it to you and you would wanna be with him still

[crystaldd0]

You don't want to cut him out completely, but if you're feeling used then why would you want to keep someone like that in your life anyways? ANYWAYS, gonna go ahead and agree time is one of the best ways to get over someone, also you should try occupying yourself with other people or things in the meantime. If the relationship is absolutely going nowhere then there is no point in wasting time on worrying about someone who doesn't waste their time worrying about you x

[Glen Coco]

yeah that's what i'm trying to do. sometimes it seems like he does care, guess im very naive.

[Futz]

just let him rinse you out

[Yawn]

as hard as it is u need to completely stop everything with him
keep urself busy. find new ppl and things to occupy ur time and thoughts

[Empired]

Why has nobody suggested sitting this guy down and talking to him?? Don't let yourself shout or get upset or anything, just sit down tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels about that. If you don't think you can talk to him without getting too emotional maybe write him a letter and sit with him while he reads it?? Don't let him try any wriggling out or saying things just to get you to shut up either.

Seems to me like you need closure and you're not gonna get that unless you either stop talking to him entirely or if he tells you he doesn't actually want much to do with you anyway.

[FlyingJesus]

Piss on his car

[Glen Coco]

to be fair, have not seen him in a week now, don't text him first and haven't really been speaking.
I have managed to get a date as well so I'm actually doing pretty well

[despect]

I think like others have said time is the way to get over someone like you can't expect to get over them in a few hours/days sometimes it does take some time but that doesn't mean it will never happen. I'd say give it some time. Perhaps when you are starting to get over you could start thinking about keeping in contact with them and just being friends :).