How much do others' impressions mean to you?

[Kyle]

When I say impressions I don't mean it in the copycat sense, I mean the impressions others form of us based on attributes of ourselves we choose to communicate or withhold so as to appear a certain way.

How far does your online identity differ from your 'real life' identity? Do you find yourself holding back certain things offline that you wouldn't online and vice versa, for example? Would you be reluctant to share something with those in the real world that you offer up freely online? Is there anything from offline that you don't think the online folk need to know? How much do others' impressions influence the way you present yourself?

pls respond

[Shar]

I definitely hold back more online than I do offline. I'm more private. I think both online and in real life you have to be quite patient with me in order to get to know me better.

[buttons]

when i say idc what people think i get told im lying but honestly idc what people think abuot me cause usually i know it is wrong, i know myself better than anyone
+ sometimes they dislike me because of their own personal issues and not cause of who i am
so i dont get too offended or take things personally
it does bother me when people dislike the real me... when people have issues with parts that is me, i don't like that.
i think i am myself online and if u think im different irl i think it might be because uv misinterpreted what im like? iv met people irl who have been different to what i think but when i read their posts after i realise it was me misinterpreting how they were as a person if that makes sense, i don't think u can go by what a person is like on here, its only once you've met them irl or at least spoke to them one on one outside the forum frequently that u have a better picture.
i avoid confronation on here because people on here tend to attack you personally and cause iv used this forum since i was 14, people know personal things that have happened to me in the past and use that to attack me. so i very often hold back incase one little remark i make makes them use my personal stuff against me whilst irl people won't know the personal stuff. im much better at defending myself irl cause usually its one person or somethign whereas on here its a whole group vs one person lol
irl i can be a bit shyer but thats understandable cause on here u dont have to see people and its easier to say what u want, irl its more intimidating when people are watchin u. im the same person if u speak to me one on one. well i think so anyway.
but then i'd say me on the forum vs me outside the forum might be a little different. if u met me only knowing me on here u might think im a bit diff vs if uv spoke to me one on one outside the forum

[MKR&*42]

In reality I hide more emotions. I try not to show when I'm stressed and I won't ever show anyone when I'm really upset which i guess sucks cause people dont know when I'm pissed off with them, but yeah. I find it easier to express myself online as opposed to irl, but apart from that I am largely the same person online and irl :P

[FlyingJesus]

idk as far as I'm aware most people here don't really like me and while it's never exactly fun to be disliked it doesn't bother me as much as people offline not liking me, prob because I choose to be around those people so it's not just a matter of not meshing with a total random. I'm not hugely different myself from one medium to the next, it's always more a case of who I'm talking to and the environment in which it's being done. Obv if it's someone I don't like and they're being an idiot I'll be more harsh than just talking to a friend about something they've misunderstood or whatev but generally I prefer to just mutually ignore those that I don't get on with. Bit different if they come at me with something personal and/or totally wrong but that's just because I don't like to be misrepresented as I'm sure most people don't.

[wixard]

idk as far as I'm aware most people here don't really like me and while it's never exactly fun to be disliked it doesn't bother me as much as people offline not liking me, prob because I choose to be around those people so it's not just a matter of not meshing with a total random. I'm not hugely different myself from one medium to the next, it's always more a case of who I'm talking to and the environment in which it's being done. Obv if it's someone I don't like and they're being an idiot I'll be more harsh than just talking to a friend about something they've misunderstood or whatev but generally I prefer to just mutually ignore those that I don't get on with. Bit different if they come at me with something personal and/or totally wrong but that's just because I don't like to be misrepresented as I'm sure most people don't.

this is pretty much the same as me, if someone on here or online doesn't like me i really, and i mean REALLY couldn't give a ****. if it were real life, it absolutely kills me. it will constantly play on my mind and i'll wonder why they don't like me, what i've done for them not to like me, and how i can change it. other peoples impressions of me can mean a lot to me, but i know that i can be obnoxious at times and sometimes intimidating so i understand and i try tone it down but that's just who i am. i personally think i'm the exact same online as i am in real life, but i can't really make that judgement because of what jen says, that others can be misinterpreting what they read.

to the forum as a whole, i'm a lot more open than i am irl because here i can just announce something and everyone will read it, where obviously in real life i'm hardly going to stand up infront of a crowd of people and just shout out personal things about myself. one on one, i think i tell people pretty much the same things and feel comfortable doing so. i do however, speak a lot more openly with people online but that's only because the frequency of these conversations. i'm chatting to them constantly through so many different mediums, like a lot more than i'd chat to my real life friends.

[Empired]

I really don't like talking out loud very much because I find it quite hard to get across what I'm saying sometimes. So I suppose if you met me offline you would notice that I don't talk nearly as much as you'd expect but that's just because I'm not very good at being myself in real life? I dunno. Plus I find it much easier to be myself on the internet because if I get fed up or annoyed at someone I can just shut my laptop and it stops. It's much harder irl because you really can't shut out the people you gotta be around every day.

I think I'm the opposite of most of the people who seem to have posted above emotions-wise. I'm more easily affected by what other people think on the internet than in real life because, kinda like Jen said, the internet is a harsh place and people really like to jump on the bandwagon and start having a go at people if they see other people do it. I suppose that must be because they don't see the damage they're doing, but even "jokes" to you can really, really hurt other people. But I can see that that's hard to understand if you can't physically see how the person you're "joking" about is reacting. But yeah I'm much less bothered by people saying stuff about me irl because I'm not really close to anyone except my mum and my brother out here, plus I find it easy to put it into perspective with other stuff going on and then that thing doesn't make me nearly as sad.

This probably doesn't make sense to anyone else but I understand what I mean at least :P

[buttons]

this is pretty much the same as me, if someone on here or online doesn't like me i really, and i mean REALLY couldn't give a ****. if it were real life, it absolutely kills me. it will constantly play on my mind and i'll wonder why they don't like me, what i've done for them not to like me, and how i can change it. other peoples impressions of me can mean a lot to me, but i know that i can be obnoxious at times and sometimes intimidating so i understand and i try tone it down but that's just who i am. i personally think i'm the exact same online as i am in real life, but i can't really make that judgement because of what jen says, that others can be misinterpreting what they read.

to the forum as a whole, i'm a lot more open than i am irl because here i can just announce something and everyone will read it, where obviously in real life i'm hardly going to stand up infront of a crowd of people and just shout out personal things about myself. one on one, i think i tell people pretty much the same things and feel comfortable doing so. i do however, speak a lot more openly with people online but that's only because the frequency of these conversations. i'm chatting to them constantly through so many different mediums, like a lot more than i'd chat to my real life friends.
if i use u as example, u are exactly how u come across but before i physically met u my PERCEPTION of u was that you're horrible (we had never actually spoke one on one) but getting to know u you're not & u can see in your posts that you're not but people might misinterpret the way u say things cause they can't get the tone of voice... like people on here sayin we are intimidating but that's cause of what they've heard or how they've interpreted our posts when we both know we're not scary people. we still say the same things we do, it's just irl u can tell it's not harsh or us being horrible

JUST GETTING IT OUT THERE WE ARE NOT MEAN PEOPLE, i actually thnk there r loads more people here who would be horrible compared to us

[Aiden]

I act the same online as offline. I don't really like people lol. And yes others make me change the way I am... like attractive people make me want to be more attractive but it doesnt work

i also act different around posh people lol

i dont think i answered the q right

[DryRash]

It is weird as I am different depending who I am with.
If I am with my family I will talk normally etc.
Friends different story.
New people I have just met, I will probably try make a good impression to start off with!

I think it depends on who you are with. Well for me it is :P

[Inseriousity.]

I'm happy with who I am so I don't mind if someone doesn't like me. I'll act myself and if someone doesn't like that then I just put it down to personality clash and leave it at that. As for online/offline, yes and no. My online persona is who I'd be if I was comfortable in your presence but like Shar, it takes a while for people to reach that stage with me so I tend to come across as shy and awkward. I also think it's a bit more subtle online. It's harder to tell online that someone is a little guarded with you at first cos you only tend to notice them when they're more relaxed. The only difference is probably how dirty I am, it's funny online, irl it'd just be creepy.

[crystaldd0]

I don't go out of my way to talk to people. Some people may see that as me being "stuck up" but really I'm just a shy person. I've learned not to care what people think about me, especially if they haven't taken the time to get to know me. As vain as this may sound, anyone who has taken the time to get to know me loves me. I don't act very different online than I do irl. I just have to warm up to people first. Some of my online friends know more about me than some of my irl friends do, but it works the other way around too. Depending on how close of a relationship I build with someone online, that determines what I share with them about my "real life". Based on other peoples "impressions" I can instantly determine if we're going to get a long or not. Again, you may mistake this as me being stuck up but, I've grown tired of trying to make friends with people. It never works for me, and no one gives anything back in return. I can easily talk to people and have a decent conversation when first meeting but, if that first conversation doesn't give me the vibe that we can relate then I'm not going to go out of my way to talk to you often.

[Brad]

My online/offline self is pretty much the same. A lot of my friends see both sides. I am a very extroverted person, and with that- it's hard not to be extroverted online. If that makes sense. Haha


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[e5]

I like a compliment but if someone slagged me off if doesn't affect my life in any way as no one knows you that well online. I probably can't show my true colours on here as everyone is so different, it would be hard :p

[Kyle]

definitely agree with most of u guys, offline impressions mean so much more than online. not too bothered if someone on forum for example takes a disliking to me, but maybe that is because I feel confident in my ability to persuade them otherwise when the time comes. irl that's harder, cos it's all about the here and now and if someone thinks I'm a *** they are gonna be less likely to budge on that. also following some of these opinion threads it appears i come across as sarcastic and cynical and even harsh to some people which I don't set out to do and dont really want to be seen like that. tone in text is far too often misconstrued i think.

it's interesting how different contexts within the online/offline contexts themselves can produce different presentations of the self too, like some people on habboxforum where theyve been for years will post anything they like but on a different forum or in a different online setting they might not. same with how people act different around friends and family. i definitely would not act exactly as i do with my friends if my family were thre or i knew they were watching, it would just be weird. which is why the tv show sun bobba suspicious parents is so interesting!!!!

impressions are much easier to manage and control online than off cos I can regulate it properly. for example not showing everybody what I look like or telling them about certain things means they are less likely to form opinions based on superficial traits and more likely to form a truer and more accurate 1. irl I guess it's harder to keep that sort of stuff in, it's just stuff that's expected to be shared and makes a difference to their impression.

[Absently]

I'm exactly the same as I am offline and online. I am extremely open about everything because its what makes me who I am. Obviously in certain situations I tone down the real me when appropriate.

On here if someone doesn't like me I will dwell on it in my head for a few minutes then will swiftly get over it as generally I've found that perception of me is not the real me, just some personified parts of my personality, like a misinterpretation. Or I've found that some people online don't tend to like me because I've gone out of my way to be annoying :P just because that's funny to me.

Offline I don't think I'm too bothered either? I might think about it if the person was mentioned in a conversation but I'd soon forget about them.

I assume I care more about the online impression as people use you and your past against you, but offline no one has the guts to.

[Red]

definitely agree with most of u guys, offline impressions mean so much more than online. not too bothered if someone on forum for example takes a disliking to me, but maybe that is because I feel confident in my ability to persuade them otherwise when the time comes. irl that's harder, cos it's all about the here and now and if someone thinks I'm a *** they are gonna be less likely to budge on that. also following some of these opinion threads it appears i come across as sarcastic and cynical and even harsh to some people which I don't set out to do and dont really want to be seen like that. tone in text is far too often misconstrued i think.

it's interesting how different contexts within the online/offline contexts themselves can produce different presentations of the self too, like some people on habboxforum where theyve been for years will post anything they like but on a different forum or in a different online setting they might not. same with how people act different around friends and family. i definitely would not act exactly as i do with my friends if my family were thre or i knew they were watching, it would just be weird. which is why the tv show sun bobba suspicious parents is so interesting!!!!

impressions are much easier to manage and control online than off cos I can regulate it properly. for example not showing everybody what I look like or telling them about certain things means they are less likely to form opinions based on superficial traits and more likely to form a truer and more accurate 1. irl I guess it's harder to keep that sort of stuff in, it's just stuff that's expected to be shared and makes a difference to their impression.

If you are crafting an impression you want to give of online by holding things back and only telling them certain things, it isn't truer or accurate though. It's not really you. I am the same online as offline. I don't really hold much back. I show people what I look like and the people I am close to online I confide in. They will know what is going on in my real life, and will have me on fb etc. It doesn't cross my mind, what impression I am giving of to people and I don't consciously think I need to tone it down or whatever. Only time I think I would do that is when I am meeting people inrl for the first time.

[Kyle]

If you are crafting an impression you want to give of online by holding things back and only telling them certain things, it isn't truer or accurate though. It's not really you. I am the same online as offline. I don't really hold much back. I show people what I look like and the people I am close to online I confide in. They will know what is going on in my real life, and will have me on fb etc. It doesn't cross my mind, what impression I am giving of to people and I don't consciously think I need to tone it down or whatever. Only time I think I would do that is when I am meeting people inrl for the first time.

actually no. It's not that I'm shaping myself to appear a certain way, it's that I'm holding back some unimportant factors that have the potential to effect people's perception. and they do. just as, for example, a certain social standing might make somebody appear more trustworthy, there are numerous factors that can have all sort of impacts online. irl the main ones will be basic social groups - class, as mentioned and age, where people are seen immediately as immature or w.e until they reach a certain age, as seen even in the lawmaking process, are 2 prominent examples. sexuality and mental disorders are 2 others which are often hidden away. when you take away that chance people have to form their views based on things that don't define who you are, I think it is truer and more accurate.

[-:Undertaker:-]

Not sure really, I think my writing style comes across as more harsh so even on here when i'm not being harsh I may seem harsh. Obviously in speech it's easier to convey how you really feel whereas with written language it's not.

But yeah I can't really think of any differences other than that?

[-Moniquee.]

I think in real life I am a lot more defensive. Like I always stick up for myself if someone says anything about me/ people close to me. Whereas online I generally don't because I don't really know the person that has said anything.

Anyone that has tuned into any of my DJ shows would know I really like to talk but in real life I don't talk as much (I still talk a fair bit.)

I think I am a little more open to some people online because a lot of people online I find are people like me.

I don't think I 'change' in either worlds. I am still me, I am always myself.