Polygamy - thoughts?

[Judas]

I was reading a discussion on another forum about polygamy and it surprised me how many people are fully against it. So I wanted to see if anyone here has any opinions about this.

Would you ever engage in a relationship where polygamy is involved? Do you think it's normal? Do you think it's acceptable?

I personally would never, but don't see anything wrong with it. Considering of course that everyone involved knows and it works for each person.

[Derrener]

just googled it bc i didnt know wot it was

and

no i wudnt

[Empired]

Ok for people who don't know: polygamy is basically where it is considered OK for someone (usually but not always a man) to be married to more than one person at the same time. I'm pretty sure it's only really legal in some countries in Africa these days (though I think there are some others). However I think only men are allowed to be married more than once; women are still only allowed one husband.

I don't think this is OK at all? I think you can love more than one person but not romantically, I think the whole point of love or whatever is that you want to be with them. How can you do that if you want to be with someone else as well?

[wixard]

I have no problems with other people doing it, I myself couldn't. I would get FAR TOO JEALOUS

[Jurv]

had to google but god i'm against it

marriage isn't really something i'm bothered with but i'd say it's wrong to marry more than one person. due to the commitments you have to make during marriage i just can't see it working with more than two people in the relationship and i think it'd always come down to you loving one more than the other. if i picture a guy having two wives i immediately just think that the only reason he married them was for his own use. probs wrong for me to think like that but i can imagine one being for his sexual desires and the other for domestic work or whatever lol. thinking about it, i honestly can't see why people would be for it

[wixard]

had to google but god i'm against it

marriage isn't really something i'm bothered with but i'd say it's wrong to marry more than one person. due to the commitments you have to make during marriage i just can't see it working with more than two people in the relationship and i think it'd always come down to you loving one more than the other. if i picture a guy having two wives i immediately just think that the only reason he married them was for his own use. probs wrong for me to think like that but i can imagine one being for his sexual desires and the other for domestic work or whatever lol. thinking about it, i honestly can't see why people would be for it

in a relationship this will always be a problem with just two people anyway, one is always going to love the other more. it's just one of those things you have to accept

but yeah still wouldn't do it and don't really see the point (i'm sure others who support it/are involved in polygamy have well supported reasoning behind it which they shouldn't have to explain to anyone other than those involved BUT YEAH)

[Jurv]

in a relationship this will always be a problem with just two people anyway, one is always going to love the other more. it's just one of those things you have to accept

but yeah still wouldn't do it and don't really see the point (i'm sure others who support it/are involved in polygamy have well supported reasoning behind it which they shouldn't have to explain to anyone other than those involved BUT YEAH)

true but i suppose being in a relationship with two people, you and the other person hasn't agreed to love someone else and it's just the two of you. there's isn't anyone in your face for you to get jealous over if you thought the other partner doesn't love you as much. if it's just the two of you in the relationship i guess it's easier to keep an eye out so you know they aren't being satisfied elsewhere (unless they're cheating or w.e)

[Judas]

Ok for people who don't know: polygamy is basically where it is considered OK for someone (usually but not always a man) to be married to more than one person at the same time. I'm pretty sure it's only really legal in some countries in Africa these days (though I think there are some others). However I think only men are allowed to be married more than once; women are still only allowed one husband.

I don't think this is OK at all? I think you can love more than one person but not romantically, I think the whole point of love or whatever is that you want to be with them. How can you do that if you want to be with someone else as well?

Just because you and I don't understand it, it doesn't mean it isn't okay. It's very important to establish the difference between cheating and polygamy. Some people are fine being with someone that is with a couple of other people too. I don't get that, but it's just how it is. And I don't think anyone has the right to say that is not okay. I reckon it should be legal tbh.


had to google but god i'm against it

marriage isn't really something i'm bothered with but i'd say it's wrong to marry more than one person. due to the commitments you have to make during marriage i just can't see it working with more than two people in the relationship and i think it'd always come down to you loving one more than the other. if i picture a guy having two wives i immediately just think that the only reason he married them was for his own use. probs wrong for me to think like that but i can imagine one being for his sexual desires and the other for domestic work or whatever lol. thinking about it, i honestly can't see why people would be for it

Yeah I agree with what you're saying, I couldn't do it either... But it does work for some people. And I'm not talking about marriages strictly here, just relationships generally. We shouldn't say something is wrong and shouldn't be allowed because we don't understand it - if that was the case for everything then wouldn't homosexuality still be illegal?

[MKR&*42]

dunno if I could ever do it but I'm not against it at all :P

[Judas]

just googled it bc i didnt know wot it was

and

no i wudnt

A fantastically insightful post thank you for joining us

[MKR&*42]

A fantastically insightful post thank you for joining us

He answered the question about whether he would ever engage in a polygamous relationship, there's no need to be that sarcastic and rude to him? :S

[Judas]

He answered the question about whether he would ever engage in a polygamous relationship, there's no need to be that sarcastic and rude to him? :S

I just don't see the point in replying to a thread with a simple yes or no answer? If you aren't going to contribute to discussions then why are you on a forum? It happens all the time here and it's pointless, boring and annoying. Now do you have anything else to say about the actual topic? If not, please leave.

[MKR&*42]

I just don't see the point in replying to a thread with a simple yes or no answer? If you aren't going to contribute to discussions then why are you on a forum? It happens all the time here and it's pointless, boring and annoying. Now do you have anything else to say about the actual topic? If not, please leave.

You're going to get a lot of people respond like that to a lot of threads, although I'll know better to reply to a thread started by you in the future considering how abrupt and rude you are lol @subo (http://www.habboxforum.com/member.php?u=112144); was right about you (what she said in another thread).

[lemons]

Would you ever engage in a relationship where polygamy is involved? no
Do you think it's normal? no
Do you think it's acceptable? no

polygamy sounds ridiculous

[FlyingJesus]

I think you can love more than one person but not romantically

Then I'm afraid you're quite provably wrong :P Perhaps you couldn't, but it's certainly not a universal truth that people somehow only have enough love for one person.

To me it's impossible to imagine closing myself off like that; not because I'm greedy or can't commit but because the way my brain works always allows for more love. Also believing in pure monogamy seems self-defeating in that quite clearly there is not just one person for everyone forever as people do tend to have multiple partners (albeit not usually at the same time) and so if you're able to be into more than one person across a span of time then it makes no logical sense to assume that you couldn't love them both together unless you accept the notion that love is finite - and if that's the case then it's a far sadder world than I want to be in.

[Inseriousity.]

Polygamy has always seemed one-sided to me. It's always a man with multiple wives (don't think I've ever come across a story bout a woman with multiple husbands but I'm sure there are somewhere). Polygamy in the way that Tom suggests would mean that it'd be a bit more open. There seems to be some power imbalance and I wouldn't personally want to get in the middle of that from either side. Despite that, it's a choice and if people are happy with that and it is their choice then they aren't doing anyone any harm really.

[Judas]

You're going to get a lot of people respond like that to a lot of threads, although I'll know better to reply to a thread started by you in the future considering how abrupt and rude you are lol @subo (http://www.habboxforum.com/member.php?u=112144); was right about you (what she said in another thread).

Good to know, I hope you never do. And how playground of you. I don't care what some randomer said about me in any thread. You don't know me and I don't know any of you so I literally couldn't care less. Please stop trying to derail a civil conversation, thank you.


Would you ever engage in a relationship where polygamy is involved? no
Do you think it's normal? no
Do you think it's acceptable? no

polygamy sounds ridiculous

Why is it not acceptable?


Then I'm afraid you're quite provably wrong :P Perhaps you couldn't, but it's certainly not a universal truth that people somehow only have enough love for one person.

To me it's impossible to imagine closing myself off like that; not because I'm greedy or can't commit but because the way my brain works always allows for more love. Also believing in pure monogamy seems self-defeating in that quite clearly there is not just one person for everyone forever as people do tend to have multiple partners (albeit not usually at the same time) and so if you're able to be into more than one person across a span of time then it makes no logical sense to assume that you couldn't love them both together unless you accept the notion that love is finite - and if that's the case then it's a far sadder world than I want to be in.

Interesting idea. So is being in a relationship with multiple people at one time something you have experienced? Or something you would like to do? And would that be considered polygamy in your eyes, or an 'open relationship'? I'm not entirely sure of the differences, to be honest.


Polygamy has always seemed one-sided to me. It's always a man with multiple wives (don't think I've ever come across a story bout a woman with multiple husbands but I'm sure there are somewhere). Polygamy in the way that Tom suggests would mean that it'd be a bit more open. There seems to be some power imbalance and I wouldn't personally want to get in the middle of that from either side. Despite that, it's a choice and if people are happy with that and it is their choice then they aren't doing anyone any harm really.

Yes that is true. Most of what you hear about polygamy seems to be about male possession. Seems unfair but like you say some people are fine with it so who is anyone to question their right to do that if they're happy?

[FlyingJesus]

Polygamy has always seemed one-sided to me. It's always a man with multiple wives (don't think I've ever come across a story bout a woman with multiple husbands but I'm sure there are somewhere). Polygamy in the way that Tom suggests would mean that it'd be a bit more open. There seems to be some power imbalance and I wouldn't personally want to get in the middle of that from either side. Despite that, it's a choice and if people are happy with that and it is their choice then they aren't doing anyone any harm really.

The way it's been legally/sociologically implemented in the past has been as you say just about possession, and I yeah if we're going to be technical then polygamy in the real world has almost always represented as just polyGYNY (many wives, as opposed to polyANDRY many husbands), whereas the idea of multiple relationships is better termed as polyAMORY and due to the suffix is more about love that marriage :P Greek is fun *+*+*


Interesting idea. So is being in a relationship with multiple people at one time something you have experienced? Or something you would like to do? And would that be considered polygamy in your eyes, or an 'open relationship'? I'm not entirely sure of the differences, to be honest.

Not something I've personally been a part of since I don't tend to have one person after me let alone any more lol although certainly had extremely strong feelings for more than one person so the emotional side of it makes sense to me in a way that monogamy never really has. Open relationships are a bit different since that tends to still be based on a couple and then a few satellite lovers who are "allowed" (and frankly it tends to happen because they're not really that happy with each other) whereas polyamory/gamy is genuine relationships between various people, although as far as I know not usually in the sense that absolutely everyone involved is in love with everyone. You'd need an insane amount of luck and trust for that to happen :P

[Judas]

Not something I've personally been a part of since I don't tend to have one person after me let alone any more lol although certainly had extremely strong feelings for more than one person so the emotional side of it makes sense to me in a way that monogamy never really has. Open relationships are a bit different since that tends to still be based on a couple and then a few satellite lovers who are "allowed" (and frankly it tends to happen because they're not really that happy with each other) whereas polyamory/gamy is genuine relationships between various people, although as far as I know not usually in the sense that absolutely everyone involved is in love with everyone. You'd need an insane amount of luck and trust for that to happen :P

I was doing some reading about it earlier and the way I understood it was this:

Polygamy - one person in the relationship also being involved in a relationship with others (usually talking about marriage?)
Polyamory - both people in the relationship being involved with others
Open relationship - both people basically allowed to be sexual with others on the side

Yes, I'm pretty sure they don't mean everyone involved loves everyone. That's probably a different thing altogether and I'd imagine, like you say, that it's very rare lol. It's just accepting that the one you love is in love with someone else and is also in a relationship with them, and you might be too (only in polyamory?)

[God]

If everyone is happy, and noone is being used, then I say let them ******* love each other.

[Red]

Watched something on the centennial park mormans who practice it and just thought it was really weird. Having to take it in turns to be with their husband, the women having no choice of what next woman is next to join their family. I'd prob be jealous and have low self esteem.

[Judas]

Watched something on the centennial park mormans who practice it and just thought it was really weird. Having to take it in turns to be with their husband, the women having no choice of what next woman is next to join their family. I'd prob be jealous and have low self esteem.

That just seems unfair. Were the women happy though? It just kinda seems in situations like that one, that the man is the king and the women have to serve him, in a way.

[Red]

That just seems unfair. Were the women happy though? It just kinda seems in situations like that one, that the man is the king and the women have to serve him, in a way.

They admitted to sometimes getting jealous etc. Another family had so many children, her sister wives had to work to support them, so the first wife ended up having to look after the 18 kids on her own. awful lmao and I guess. The women could only have one husband but the men have multiple wives.

[Kyle]

I think a lot of people are polyamarous to an extent until they find a connection with 1 of the many they are attached to to be stronger than the rest. a lot of dating happens for example where one individual goes on a number of dates with different people over a short period of time and effectively picks their favourite(s). obviously not as equal as a polyamorous relationship would suggest but same basic concept and for the most part both parties are aware of the process of selection that is going on.

as for polygamy, from what I remember polygyny is more to do with ownership of women whereas polyandry stems from kinship where a wife will take multiple husbands to ensure proper care of her child(ren) and often these will be men from same family. polygyny obviously has some practical ideas around it tho. for example masai of kenya i visited who took multiple wives and had children with all of them seemingly to produce as many offspring as possible that would carry on name of them and their tribe.

polygamy is just a strange cultural practise to me that seems too deep rooted in some cultures to move on from and is centred on patriarchal possession. for men it is about having as man kids as humanly possible and having access to the means to sate their sexual desires and for women it is about dressing a woman up as a dominant force only to have her join a family full of males and effectively become their play thing.

monogamous relationship for me all day long pls. not saying it isn't possible for an individual to have a strong relationship with more than 1 person just think it is impractical for me cos of the inevitable jealousy that will emerge when 1 party is not devoting their full attention to the other.

[-:Undertaker:-]

No I wouldn't go along with it and I look on it with distaste.

[Zelda]

i have never properly understood monogamy personally and always thought that if someone loved two people, then they should be able to be in a relationship with both of them, i think i have my dad to blame for introducing me to why multiple relationships isn't necessarily a bad thing tbh.

personally, i used to think i personally wouldn't have been able to do it, but more lately i've considered the fact a lot more, and played a situation where these 2 guys i fancy both ask me out around the same time, and it's sorta come to light to me that i probably would date both of them at the same time IF they were both ok with that.

[buttons]

why are people so against others lifestyles and happiness sigh
u can't say one will ALWAYS be jealous of the other(s), u can't speak for someone's feelings or generalise. it's not as though monogamous relationships are without their faults. it's fine to be against it for your own situation but to say its unacceptable for all isn't really fair, taking away someone's right to love who they want is ridiculous, it's the same as taking away homosexuals right to marriage.
for me personally despite the fact i think it's possible to love more than one, i would choose one, i believe choosing to love is as important as the feeling itself. i like the sound of monogamous relationships and that's my preference