Do you feel sympathy for pedophiles?

[Evanora]

Before I ask this question, I would like to point out that I am in way supporting sexual relationships involving children or agree with the act of pedophilia.

Do you feel any sympathy for pedophiles? Predominantly those who do not act upon their thoughts?

I certainly do, as sexual thoughts about children aren't something they've chosen to have. They didn't wake up one day and think "Today, I like children!". I think it's wrong for us to condemn somebody for something that is beyond their control.

[lemons]

i agree with you 100% they need help and counselling to help them control and resist the urge

however if someone did 'stuff' with a kid then i would lose ALL sympathy

[MKR&*42]

Yes i have always felt sympathetic towards those who feel that way towards kids and do not act upon it, it is a very hard thing to control and even harder to ''get over''.

[-:Undertaker:-]

In terms of any urges they may have, then yes in a way.

But as stated above, as soon as they act upon those thoughts then any sympathy is lost. Completely.

[Kyle]

How are we supposed to know who is a potential predator until they do in fact act upon their urges? The only realistic way of 'treating' this would be to target those who exhibit certain predatory behaviours and offer them whatever rehabilitation they need. Yes it's wrong and harmful to others but there aren't really many other avenues to go down when the urges become too much.

[Futz]

we as humans should lock dark thoughts away and never act upon them

it's one of the responsibilities of having a concious mind

[FlyingJesus]

How are we supposed to know who is a potential predator until they do in fact act upon their urges?

A surprisingly large number of people approach doctors/therapists confessing their urges, usually if not always led by their own shame and fear that they might do something awful if they don't get help.

But yeah as everyone's said, I have complete sympathy for anyone with such struggles, I'm sure it's not exactly pleasant for them

[Yawn]

yh always thought this

is it a sexuality tho hMmmmmmMMmmMmm

[-:Undertaker:-]

yh always thought this

is it a sexuality tho hMmmmmmMMmmMmm

Don't say that or even suggest it or you'll have the gay lobby down your throat.

[Empired]

Yeah I feel sympathy towards them because I think secretly most humans have some kind of weird thought or urge that they don't tell anybody else about.
I know me and some of my friends have admitted to occasionally realising that we could kill someone really easily. Like I'm walking to college and I realise I could push the woman walking past me right into the road without much thought at all if I wanted to lol :(

But acting on those urges and feelings is completely wrong and I agree with Futz. Controlling yourself is one of the responsibilities of having a conscious mind.

[Kyle]

A surprisingly large number of people approach doctors/therapists confessing their urges, usually if not always led by their own shame and fear that they might do something awful if they don't get help.

But problems arise where these sexual urges interact with other issues within the individuals' minds. Those that have difficulty feeling shame or embarassment for example are not likely to be deterred from committing such an offense so how else can we deal with them? The main difficulty here is not those that do seek help (I think we've established that a degree of sympathy is held for them) but those that don't, or can't - are we condemning them to the depths of hell because they don't know how to control themselves?

[j0rd]

no, not at all

i do think for some it is actually an illness and others god knows!
for those who do have is as an illness then i do feel for them, however I still think there is a sense of self control which everyone can resist.

question is, if a young close family member of yours was a victim of a pedophile, would you sympathize then?

[FlyingJesus]

But problems arise where these sexual urges interact with other issues within the individuals' minds. Those that have difficulty feeling shame or embarassment for example are not likely to be deterred from committing such an offense so how else can we deal with them? The main difficulty here is not those that do seek help (I think we've established that a degree of sympathy is held for them) but those that don't, or can't - are we condemning them to the depths of hell because they don't know how to control themselves?

Pretty much, same way we don't tend to have sympathy for mass murderers who get off on violence. Reasons aren't excuses


question is, if a young close family member of yours was a victim of a pedophile, would you sympathize then?

No because then they've acted on it, that's been pretty much everyone's point

[Kyle]

question is, if a young close family member of yours was a victim of a pedophile, would you sympathize then?
yes cos it's possible to look beyond what somebody has done and into what can be done to help them. Obviously anybody who has been victim to or knows somebody that has been victim to a child predator is going to harbour some resentment towards that individual but it's important to separate yourself from a situation and not generalise the situation of 1 person onto all those with/that act upon these urges.

You say it's an illness for some and others "god knows", I wonder where that distinction between these two is for you?

Homosexuality was regarded as an ilness, an abomination, in our recent history. I think it's possible through a civilising process that attitudes towards these unnatural urges will be relaxed.

looks like I am only truly sympathetic person here. not a paedophile peeps.

[j0rd]

yes cos it's possible to look beyond what somebody has done and into what can be done to help them. Obviously anybody who has been victim to or knows somebody that has been victim to a child predator is going to harbour some resentment towards that individual but it's important to separate yourself from a situation and not generalise the situation of 1 person onto all those with/that act upon these urges.

You say it's an illness for some and others "god knows", I wonder where that distinction between these two is for you?

Homosexuality was regarded as an ilness, an abomination, in our recent history. I think it's possible through a civilising process that attitudes towards these unnatural urges will be relaxed.

looks like I am only truly sympathetic person here. not a paedophile peeps.

illness when it's you think its right and whatever happens when its an illness (i've never been in the position to be educated on when its an illness)
god knows when it is done deliberately, out of own will when you know its morally wrong

my sister was a carer for people who were convicted pedophiles, some knew what they were doing (not an illness) and others didn't (illness)

[Kyle]

illness when it's you think its right and whatever happens when its an illness (i've never been in the position to be educated on when its an illness)
god knows when it is done deliberately, out of own will when you know its morally wrong

my sister was a carer for people who were convicted pedophiles, some knew what they were doing (not an illness) and others didn't (illness)
yes this is a legal definition and is how diseases of the mind are categorised as defences. It's the last part of the m'naghten rule on insanity and it states that the individual must not know the nature/quality of their act or know it but not know that it's wrong. Children who molest younger siblings or other children for example may fall into this category if they are seen to be unaware of the harm they are causing. If it's done deliberately with knowledge of potential harm then I agree, it's wrong, but I still think though that some sympathy and delicacy needs to be applied in these cases.

Reasons are not excuses - I agree - but they should still be taken into account in order to make a just decision on the treatment of paedophiles. Collective condemnation of an individual or group and consignment to eternal suffering is a very backward-looking approach and frankly, aside from uniting onlookers through hatred, (of "witches", paedophiles, murderers, homosexuals and others) I don't quite know what positive effect it could have. Rehabilitation and looking below the surface require, I think, a degree of sympathy - a desire to help.

[Inseriousity.]

Not really. I was quite shocked to hear about the existence of PIE (pedophile information exchange for anyone not aware of the Harman scandal in the media lately) as if there could ever be a society for pedophiles that wasn't just tolerated but seen in some parts as a valid viewpoint - often wrapping up arguments in gobbledegook to make it sound intelligent and reasonable. For the benefit of society as a whole, I think pedophilia needs to remain one of those no-go areas although if someone seeks out help to deal with it, I wouldn't feel sympathetic ("aww you poor thing!") but I'll be glad they've took that route. If someone's controlling urges it'd also depend on how they're controlling them.

[Eric]

I think there are studies proven that paedophilia is actually caused by something in the brain. so it's some sort of a mental condition and they're actually born with it and thrust upon against their will, having a sex drive for children without exception, with little or no assistance provided for them as much of what society does about paedophilia is punishing them and not preventing. someone who has weird thoughts for children should be given help and treatment to lead a normal life as having a clear awareness of state of mind is difficult. If they seek help or know their thoughts before they act then yes, they have my sympathy. when they inflict harm upon children then they cross the line, but like kyle said a degree of sympathy should still be given

[Yawn]

imagine all the closeted paedos

[FlyingJesus]

Living for today, ooh ooooh ooh-ooh-ooh

[GommeInc]

Same with any temptation really - some people cannot control urges and it hurts them inside. Not trying to add sympathy but quite a few convicted paedophiles have given rather honest and deep accounts of how it made them feel sick that the child they were approaching or attacking was so frightened or so willing to comply that it seemed too easy for them to manipulate a weaker, innocent life against its will. These deep actions took control of their body beyond the control of their own minds. It's quite difficult to imagine what that must feel like - to not have total control and have strong feelings for a clearly disturbing act. There's quite a lot of therapy available but quite a lot of people are beyond redemption.

[Matt]

I've never really thought about it. My initial reaction is that they're sick and that they deserve whatever punishment they're given. Although I do think they need to get help regarless of their situation (in prison or seeking help voluntarily)

[Becca]

this thread has actually given me hope in the world

paedophilia is a mental illness, like how when you have a partner you love and care for them, paedophiles actually fall in love with the children and unfortunately fornication is a big part of that. i hate people who are just like 'they should burn to death they are disgusting'

imagine having the mental thoughts of wanting to touch a child and you knew yourself that it was wrong but you literally couldn't stop yourself, that's exactly what it's like so if someone says 'they deserve to die' again i will throw up on them

[buttons]

yeah Tara linked me to a link where the guy knew he was a pedophile, never acted on it and never wanted to. if people can understand it's wrong and want help for it then i sympathise 100% but all sympathy goes once they act on it, pure and simple. the guy was even angry for enjoying child porn because he knew children were being hurt in the making of it.


also Empired; that is so common lmao when im driving i think "i could just turn right on this road and cause this person to crash into me and die", it's not that u want to do it u just know u could and there's probably somethin deep down inside us telling us to but our conscious says not to. plus we know he consequences of if we did. when im angry i could throw whatever i have in my hand off their head but i don't because in a minute or two the feelings will subside, some people however are just too impulsive and can't stop themselves

[LiquidLuck.]

When I first read the title I was like ''hell no!'' but then when I saw the comments I started thinking. I guess I would feel sympathy for those who have the feelings and do not act upon them even if it still seems a little bit ''weird'', lets say. Also I do not think that many people seek for help when they have these thoughts as if they are still in their right mind, they will understand how wrong those thoughts are and get embarrassed by them instead of asking for help. Also, maybe if actually faced with a situation where I would have to choose, I'm not sure I would make the choices that my rational part agree with.

When it comes to those who did something to a kid though, that's just ''no, they should die'' because not only it was to a kid but it was without consent or if for any reason they did give consent, they are kids so they do not know what they were getting into. I had a teacher who gave classes in prison and her stories were really interesting. I remember her telling us that in prison everyone has a sister or a daughter or even a niece and that is why pedophiles were such outcasts even among the outcasts.

- - - Updated - - -


this thread has actually given me hope in the world

paedophilia is a mental illness, like how when you have a partner you love and care for them, paedophiles actually fall in love with the children and unfortunately fornication is a big part of that. i hate people who are just like 'they should burn to death they are disgusting'

imagine having the mental thoughts of wanting to touch a child and you knew yourself that it was wrong but you literally couldn't stop yourself, that's exactly what it's like so if someone says 'they deserve to die' again i will throw up on them

I agree with you to some point because even though it is a mental illness, it's a mental illness that affects other people, mainly people that are not evolved enough to protect themselves and when I say evolved I mean it in every way: mentally, physically, emotionally.

I totally disagree with you when you say ''knew yourself that it was wrong but you literally couldn't stop yourself''. I know that eating too many carbs is wrong and I can barely stop myself from buying sweets when I go shopping for food, but I found my strength inside, analyse the pros and cons, and move away to the food I really need! I know giving this example is pushing it a bit, but easiest one I could use to relate it to something that you can hardly stop yourself from doing. That's why there is the line from knowing it's wrong and not acting upon it and knowing it's wrong and still doing it. If you still do it, knowing it's wrong, I'm sorry but you are indeed ''disgusting''.