Spanking

[scottish]

Do you think it's right or wrong to spank your child?

Under what circumstance, if any would, you spank your children?

[buttons]

erm im ok with other people doing it but it's not my preference. i don't think it has long term effects (unless it's severe abuse) as i didnt even know id been spanked as a child until,a few months ago lol. ive seen my nephew be spanked for STUPID things and it hurts me because he gets so upset :( ive told my mum point blank that if she ever did that to my child (she's the one who did it to my nephew) then I will slap her myself. personally, no it's not going to be for me.

[Shar]

I'd rather not use violence to discipline my children.

[-:Undertaker:-]

I got smacked (often hit too) when I was out of control and I deserved it 100% in most cases and looking at schools nowadays, I know most of the spoilt little *******s could've done with a crack or two by their parents: parents should act as parents, not your bezzie friend.

I'd bring back the cane in schools too, and I would've got it a fair few times (and deserved it). Certainly would've made me think twice.

[A4R0N]

bedroom spanking is better

[Empired]

No. It happened to me sometimes as a child and I think there are better methods for dealing with it. I believe if you ever hit your own child (no matter the circumstances) you are teaching it that it's okay to hit.

[-:Undertaker:-]

No. It happened to me sometimes as a child and I think there are better methods for it. I believe if you ever hit your own child (no matter the circumstances) you are teaching it that it's okay to hit.

Not really.

I was smacked and hit when I did something wrong, and it never taught me that mindless violence was right at all. Infact it was the total opposite, because had my parents found out I had hit another kid in school I would be LIVID with fear of going home at the end of the day knowing that I was going to get the living daylights smacked out of me as punishment for what I had done. The kids in school who were violent were usually the ones who had virtually zero disipline at home... so they had no boundaries.

[Chris]

I used to get a smack if I did something bad. I don't think it's right to hit children though as I believe there are other ways to punish them that don't involve violence.

[Empired]

Not really.

I was smacked and hit when I did something wrong, and it never taught me that mindless violence was right at all. Infact it was the total opposite, because had my parents found out I had hit another kid in school I would be LIVID with fear of going home at the end of the day knowing that I was going to get the living daylights smacked out of me as punishment for what I had done. The kids in school who were violent were usually the ones who had virtually zero disipline at home... so they had no boundaries.
I disagree but it seems we were hit for different reasons as children. The one time that sticks in my mind is being smacked on the pavement on the way to school because I was unwell and threw up whilst we were walking.

Maybe it's ok to hit in certain circumstances (like when they've done something really awful) but I don't trust a lot of parents to be responsible with hitting their children. I think quite a few parents would start off reasonably well but would soon be thinking "he disrespected me I'm gonna smack him" "she's not agreeing with me I'm gonna smack her". It would get out of hand.

[Red]

I got smacked but only when I deserved it and I think it was a good punishment for me because grounding would have had no effect on me as I was happy to sit inside and watch a disney movie or read a book but my dad used the belt to hit us (v. rarley) ;/// and that I don't agree with because I remember having bruises from it.

[Lewis]

There are alternatives, there is no need to hit/spank/abuse/whatever your child like that.

[wixard]

i got slapped, but it was definitely more out of anger than discipline...
never damaged me in any way as far as i'm aware, and i'm not a violent person at all

wouldn't do it to my kids ever, wouldn't spank them, but i also wouldn't judge those who use it as a discipline method

[-:Undertaker:-]

I love everyone on here saying how they won't smack their little Johnny when they've got children because there are 'alternatives'... well we'll see how you feel when little Johnny won't listen or pay attention to your 'alternatives', your blood is boiling and he's asking for a right crack. :P

[Kardan]

I got smacked as a child, although quite rarely, I didn't do much wrong at all really - but I don't agree with it. There's much better ways.

[scottish]

For people saying other/better ways, what methods would you use out of curiosity?

[wixard]

I love everyone on here saying how they won't smack their little Johnny when they've got children because there are 'alternatives'... well we'll see how you feel when little Johnny won't listen or pay attention to your 'alternatives', your blood is boiling and he's asking for a right crack. :P

i've never had any violent tendencies towards anyone in my life, arguing with siblings etc i'd never dream of lashing out at anyone
why would i suddenly have them with my child? really don't think i will

it's just not my character
scottish; supernanny style

[scottish]

sit in the bad corner no tv for an hour? :P

[wixard]

sit in the bad corner no tv for an hour? :P

whats wrong with that?

do you really think the only way to get your child to be obedient is to hit them?

[Kardan]

scottish;, pretty much what wixard said. There's many ways of punishing children without the need for violence. Most school kids are generally well behaved without teachers needing to go smacking them :P

And I know that all the regular members on here don't have kids, so we can't exactly put ourselves in that situation, but I can't imagine why you would even want to hurt your own child? (And y'know, surely you would be putting up with enough crying anyway? :P)

[-:Undertaker:-]

And I know that all the regular members on here don't have kids, so we can't exactly put ourselves in that situation, but I can't imagine why you would even want to hurt your own child? (And y'know, surely you would be putting up with enough crying anyway? :P)

To make them behave. Pain works to control behaviour.

Child gets hit for doing X, child a week later thinks of doing X again.... thinks of the belt he got last week off his Dad.

[Jurv]

no i don't agree with it at all

i don't agree with any form of physical punishment unless you're defending yourself from an attack

[scottish]

Nothing. I'm asking as I've never watched supernanny, so I have no idea what she does to try to control the kids.

[-:Undertaker:-]

i've never had any violent tendencies towards anyone in my life, arguing with siblings etc i'd never dream of lashing out at anyone
why would i suddenly have them with my child? really don't think i will

If your child won't listen to you and is out of control then you will, and if you don't then the child may go out of control which would make you a bad parent because you didn't nip the bad behaviour in the bud when they first started acting up. It's all very well talking about 'alternatives' like a naughty step or no television, but sometimes children just don't care and will push and push until somebody shows them where the boundary is.

I remember doing it to my parents, and I remember much more vividly doing it to teachers - who I knew couldn't touch me.

[Lewis]

I love everyone on here saying how they won't smack their little Johnny when they've got children because there are 'alternatives'... well we'll see how you feel when little Johnny won't listen or pay attention to your 'alternatives', your blood is boiling and he's asking for a right crack. :P

Meh, I don't plan on having children anyway. There are definitely alternatives, the only reason you should hit a child back is in self defense -- unless it's the like of a five year old.

[Jurv]

just lock them in their room with no electrical stuff and no wifi and they'll learn their lesson x

[Empired]

If your child won't listen to you and is out of control then you will, and if you don't then the child may go out of control which would make you a bad parent because you didn't nip the bad behaviour in the bud when they first started acting up. It's all very well talking about 'alternatives' like a naughty step or no television, but sometimes children just don't care and will push and push until somebody shows them where the boundary is.

I remember doing it to my parents, and I remember much more vividly doing it to teachers - who I knew couldn't touch me.
Reinforcing good behaviour is shown to work better for teaching a child to behave than attacking them for bad behaviour.

If your child won't listen to you and is out of control then it is your own fault. If you don't make them apologise when they're younger, they won't apologise when they're older. If you don't set boundaries when they're younger, they won't stick to them later. If you don't make them sit on the bottom step when they're younger (five minutes can seem like five years when you're four), they won't stay put in years to come. If you don't justify why they need to (not) do something when they're younger, they won't bother to try and see from your point of view once they've grown up.

If your child only responds to you hitting them, it means you've left it too late. It's not the child's fault for their bad behaviour, it's because the parent could not be bothered to teach the child to be better when they were younger. Parenting is an absolute bore sometimes but if you don't get on and do it it'll become a thousand times harder.

I remember a teacher a few years ago telling me she once sent a girl out of her classroom to sit on the stairs just outside and she was outraged. When this teacher asked her why she'd never been told to sit on the bottom step before, she apparently just said when I was little and I was naughty mum thought it was cute. By the time she realised it wasn't cute it was too late.

[Kardan]

Kids really give in incredibly fast when you take their possessions away from them. The times as a kid where I was sent to my room with nothing to do, I thought to myself every time: "I'll show them. I'll stay in here for days and they'll be the ones saying sorry", and within about 20 minutes I would have come back downstairs and apologise because I was bored out of my head.

[Metric1]

I love rough play ;)

[scottish]

anyone who replies in a sexual manner is a pedo as I stated in the first post 'child'

xxMATTGxx; contact the local authorities

[dbgtz]

Absolutely.
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130325230635/americandad/images/6/60/AD_716_024200.jpg

But in all seriousness, I think it's only effective if used infrequently. I've only been smacked once, but it sticks with me and has actually affected how I behave in front of my parents, in a good way from most angles. I think smacking can have negative side effects when it's over used and should remain as a last resort.

[Empired]

Kids really give in incredibly fast when you take their possessions away from them. The times as a kid where I was sent to my room with nothing to do, I thought to myself every time: "I'll show them. I'll stay in here for days and they'll be the ones saying sorry", and within about 20 minutes I would have come back downstairs and apologise because I was bored out of my head.
Omg yes. My mum still takes my laptop away sometimes and I'll normally survive for about an hour before giving in.

[dbgtz]

Absolutely.
http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130325230635/americandad/images/6/60/AD_716_024200.jpg

But in all seriousness, I think it's only effective if used infrequently. I've only been smacked once, but it sticks with me and has actually affected how I behave in front of my parents, in a good way from most angles. I think smacking can have negative side effects when it's over used and should remain as a last resort.

[Kardan]

So -:Undertaker:-;, how would you discipline your own child when they did something wrong, but smacking/hitting them would be inappropriate?

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Omg yes. My mum still takes my laptop away sometimes and I'll normally survive for about an hour before giving in.

"But mum, I need my laptop for the HxHD meeting!!!!!"

[Empired]

"But mum, I need my laptop for the HxHD meeting!!!!!"
She made me miss the first time I was hosting SNQ once :'(

[Kardan]

She made me miss the first time I was hosting SNQ once :'(

"Mum, please!!! I need my laptop so I can ask strangers on the internet how many colours there are in the German flag! (And it's 2)!!!!!!!"

[MKR&*42]

i have lit never been spanked or heard of anyone being spanked i assumed it was just an american thing wtf. no i dont agree with it.

[scottish]

i've never had any violent tendencies towards anyone in my life, arguing with siblings etc i'd never dream of lashing out at anyone
why would i suddenly have them with my child? really don't think i will

it's just not my character
scottish; supernanny style


whats wrong with that?

do you really think the only way to get your child to be obedient is to hit them?


Nothing. I'm asking as I've never watched supernanny, so I have no idea what she does to try to control the kids.

Can anyone answer that, how does supernanny 'punish' or control the children?

[Kardan]

Can anyone answer that, how does supernanny 'punish' or control the children?

Essentially time out away from the rest of the family/activity that's going on in the house. So usually either the 'Naughty Chair' or 'Naughty Step'. Kids don't like being left out.

[Jurv]

there's warnings and after so many they get put on the naughty step, if they get off u put them back on

and they have to stay on it for a certain amount of time before they can get off. i presume it's only for young children

[Empired]

Can anyone answer that, how does supernanny 'punish' or control the children?
She starts off by setting some boundaries and rules. If you break the rules, she first gets you to explain what you did wrong and why it was wrong ("I hit my sister and I shouldn't have because I wouldn't want her to hit me" or something similar), you have to apologise to the person you hurt, and you spend time on the naughty step if you're little or get things taken away if you're older. If you're good, your actions get recognised and you get privileges.

She often has star charts and you get stars whenever you do something good. The more stars you get, the better reward you get at the end of the week. If you do something bad, you get stars taken away.

The main thing Supernanny is about is setting boundaries and then making sure you stick to them every time. But she also adapts to different situations. Like sometimes you might have taken a child's 40 minute TV time away because they did something wrong, but then they're good and they apologise so they get 20 minutes of TV back.

[wixard]

SORRY WAS ORDERING MY INDIAN so excited!!!!!
scottish; being isolated from the family by being put in their room/naughty step or corner
you'll see on the tv show that the kids will cave in very fast, and get quite upset and remorseful

[buttons]

isn't there a new super nanny, I watched one and she was teaching the kids to pee in a big toilet by peeing in the garden?

[Kyle]

psychological torture is much more effective in the long run

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isn't there a new super nanny, I watched one and she was teaching the kids to pee in a big toilet by peeing in the garden?
are u watching a dog training show

[Jssy]

My dad used to grab me by one arm pull my underwear down and smack me and looking back that sounds awful. I certainly don't condone it but I've grown up to respect my dad.

[buttons]

psychological torture is much more effective in the long run

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are u watching a dog training show
I'm not even joking, she was complaining the kids still use a potty and made them pee in the garden?? I wasn't paying much attention but that's what I saw!!

[Sharon]

i would never ever do it to my own child or anyone else's child lol it's horrible

i can see the effectiveness and reasons on why you would and i prob deserved a few times lol but so many were uncalled for and really is just one of the billion resent my mum

[Samantha]

I'm on the fence with this one - I was disciplined as a child, and I believe I've came off fine from it. However, my cousin who was never disciplined, and ran riot has calmed down a fair bit now too.

There will always be alternatives, but I'd rather try the approaches of the naughty step, no TV etc. before I go as far as hitting my child. However, I understand that until I'm in the situation I can't really predict what I'll do.

[Absently]

i think i was only smacked once as a child. apparently i was quite a good child and did what i was told, i was just a very anxious and quiet child. i'd like to think i won't hit my kids, but i can get very angry, i would try my best to discipline them in other ways.

[scottish]

i think i was only smacked once as a child. apparently i was quite a good child and did what i was told, i was just a very anxious and quiet child. i'd like to think i won't hit my kids, but i can get very angry, i would try my best to discipline them in other ways.

That's the exact opposite that I'd do tbh, if I ever were to spank my child (which is unlikely) it would be in the event that they done something seriously bad (such as something that put themself in danger, or hit their sibling)

Not out of me being pissed off or angry

[Absently]

That's the exact opposite that I'd do tbh, if I ever were to spank my child (which is unlikely) it would be in the event that they done something seriously bad (such as something that put themself in danger, or hit their sibling)

Not out of me being pissed off or angryi dont mean if im pissed off or angry just cus of life, but if they're being so naughty and just wont stop and keep on and on doing the same boldness over and over, i'd probably get so angry i'd spank them... not if i'm in a huff i'm not that stupid

[Kardan]

Surely if you're going to spank your child, you shouldn't do it because you're angry, you should do it because your child has done something really wrong.

[Absently]

Surely if you're going to spank your child, you shouldn't do it because you're angry, you should do it because your child has done something really wrong.

i dont mean if im pissed off or angry just cus of life, but if they're being so naughty and just wont stop and keep on and on doing the same boldness over and over, i'd probably get so angry i'd spank them... not if i'm in a huff i'm not that stupidin other words, if my child is being so extremely naughty and just continues after i've attempted to discipline them several times then yeah, i'd spank them (i really don't think many would be able to stay completely cool as a cucumber after their child continues to act up after disciplining them several time)

[Matt]

My dad used to hit us but mum threatened him with a divorce so he moved to putting a bar of soap in our mouths if we were bad. We also had the naughty step which was horrible :(

[Kardan]

in other words, if my child is being so extremely naughty and just continues after i've attempted to discipline them several times then yeah, i'd spank them (i really don't think many would be able to stay completely cool as a cucumber after their child continues to act up after disciplining them several time)

Notice the part of your post you didn't bold, 'i'd probably get so angry i'd spank them'

[Red]

It was clear she ment spanking as a last result after other methods had failed. What parent wouldn't be angry if they continued to act up after multiple attempts of disciplining!! And bar of soap wtf Matt lmao

[Empired]

Notice the part of your post you didn't bold, 'i'd probably get so angry i'd spank them'
I know that's what it sounds like but I don't think she meant it like that lol

Still, don't think it's ever a good idea to hit your kid (or anyone, for that matter lol) when you're angry. Wait until you've calmed down a bit and see what you think then. Your judgement's always going to be off when you're angry.

[Absently]

Notice the part of your post you didn't bold, 'i'd probably get so angry i'd spank them'You're taking me completely wrong, it's why I bolded further "but if they're being so naughty and just wont stop and keep on and on doing the same boldness over and over, i'd probably get so angry i'd spank them" you're going to be angry if your child won't take your other disciplines lol so i'd then revert to giving them a spank


It was clear she ment spanking as a last result after other methods had failed. What parent wouldn't be angry if they continued to act up after multiple attempts of disciplining!! And bar of soap wtf Matt lmaoinit kirst, people acting like i'm just gonna randomly flip the handle over something that has nothing to do with my kids and not because other disciplines i've used are not working!!

[Kyle]

Anger derived from ur kids disobedience is worse than if it comes from somewhere else. Don't get angry and hit ur kids just cos they're being brats yikes!


~~from phone

[scottish]

init horrible horrible mother, watch out pasta; ;l

[Inseriousity.]

I was smacked as a kid. Did it stop my bad behaviour? No. I just got better at not getting caught. Growing up stopped my behaviour and I think part of the 'it didn't do me any harm' argument is more because they grew up and stopped naturally rather than the punishment itself and just attribute their now good behaviour to the smacking. I think smacking is just a lazy way of parenting. It's quick and easy but it doesn't necessarily stop the behaviour long-term. If you have a bit more patience to discipline (naughty step, time out, confiscating toys/items they treasure etc) then it'll be better long term.

[Brad]

My parents used to spank me. But I learned from the first couple times. I think I'd probably follow in my parents methods because that's what they did.

But this spanking method only works on certain people. I think obviously there's an age limit to this, and sometimes people try to spank someone who is out of the age bracket where this would be effective and it makes the child act more disobedient.

Oh and mdport.; I totally got the soap too! Only when we swore or talked smack about our siblings. Lol

[OldLoveSong]

I got spanked when i was younger and put into the corner lots of times. As for when i have children of my own i have no idea. Maybe put them in the corner or take away certain items


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