attention females get

[Sharon]

honestly it's getting to me now how disgusting the attention i am getting has changed within the last 6 months. my clothing sense hasn't changed in terms of getting any more or less revealing. personal choice i had never even wore shorts without tights out of the house until this year for the first ever year lol and that was less than 5 times. however within recent times i can't leave the house to the co-op which is a minute walk away without at least 3 ***** in cars waving/starin/shouting something/beeping/whistling something out their window. I JUST WANT TO SHOUT "I AM 16" at half of them. like right now that is harmless but the fact is that isn't all it's ever going to be, at some point it will get too far n turn into harm lol. this doesn't change depending on what i am wearing tbh, i can be in shorts which i never am anyway and receive less than if i am wearing a big massive hoodie and joggers. i don't take it as a compliment considering they're often way into 30s and older and it's quite obvious i'm NOT in my 30s and older.

it's turning into too much when people say **** and they're quite near me on a road, i find it very uncomfortable etc when they whistle/shout. today two creepy guys in manc easily in twenties near picadilly did this and started following me telling me to go with them somewhere lol... i was in a blazer, tshirt and high waisted trousers so hardly sexually promoting myself to be *+approached+*.

for that reason i don't think people 'ask for it' when they wear next to nothing. yes they may look ridiculous but no i think it just happens to so many girls whether ur looking for the attention or not. i saw this debate on a website n i found it v interesting.

however, i bought a top from UO yesterday and i'm already contemplating never wearing it lol... since the encounter today and considering what i was wearing at the time of that i now don't feel comfortable ever wanting to wear that top in case it does increase any sort of risk giving off the wrong message :( never bought a rly cropped top before and the intention is to wear it with anything high waisted mainly a skirt so still lit nothing showing i don't want that lol (anyone interested: http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/uk/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=5741439788486&parentid=WOMENS-CROP-TOPS-EU) at this current time i will never wear it lol
it pisses me off how much worse this is getting. girls should not be treated with ANYTHING of this kind and some men should not feel like it is 'ok' and any form acceptable to speak to girls this way!!!

i don't know what the purpose of this thread is. i really don't, prob just wanna get it off my chest cos ive been thinking this topic through a lot lately.

either share opinions / anything / or answer the question: do you think girls increase the risk of sexual assault by dressing explicitly?

[Kardan]

I think women do increase their chances by dressing explicitly, but I suppose you could say that people can also increase their chances by being god awful drunk, high on drugs, hanging around with known criminals etc.

[scottish]

No, but i've never found a girl more attractive because they dress like a ****, I'd much prefer a girl properly dressed.

[wixard]

you get used to it, it doesn't bother me

don't rise to it

[buttons]

pretty much started happening to me aged 14 when i made more of an effort to be pretty and dress up, would be beeped at by men in white vans when walking home from school. would be told to come into pubs and clubs to dance. I used to like jogging as well but then male joggers would whistle or jeer at me going past and slow down to talk to me despite the fact i was obviously uncomfortable. i had to figure out when they wouldn't be out and change plans all because of men. i do find that harassment lessens now that i cover up my body when going for a walk.

most days i will walk down the street alone cause i know the people around me are ok but in strange places i worry about it. & it's especially hard on the weekend because drunk guys are the worst for these jeering. i can go out in the afternoon showing off skin and no one will say anything until the drunk guys are out. I personally find them quite intimidating for a number of reasons, not just cause they might be dangerous,

however they are a minority and i think the so called dangers of men are overdramatised on social media. it's not all with bad intentions and you can have a joke about it but it's a shame many of us hate to go out alone because we've gotten used to the harassment of a few people. it's hard to deny it doesn't happen because it happens to so much women once they've hit a certain age.

idk if less clothes increases the risk cause ive been hit on or harassed or ignored when wearing lots of makeup and little clothes vs no makeup and full clothing. but I'm just talking about harassment here.

[Gina]

i dnt like the attention females get sometimes lol like a lot of the time i dont understand because im nothing special or whatev but ill be walking home from tesco and people will beep at me and shout at me from their car windows cos its like by a main road lol?? i usually wear like my dads jumpers and theyre huuuuge and a pair of thick leggings lol at first i thought they beeped at me cos i was in the way then shouted at me bcos they were angry but surely i cant be in the way if im just standing on the side path and not even crossing the road?? obv its prob a joke like prob people with their mates of whatev i just struggle to understand why lol

then it was like wednesday i was walking home from my work experience and i was wearing a long sleeved top and thick leggings but the top was big so covered my bum anyway lol as well as a hoodie zippy thing ontop of that n some guy drove past giving me some weird smile like i didnt think anything of it until he parked next to me so i just walked fast n he started shouting up the road like hey princess hey hey turn around heyyy all that crap so i look back and he asked for my name or whatev??? i just carried on walking and ignored it so he changed tone of voice and started shouting like THANKS or thanks for that ;l he was about 40 ??? id prob half understand if he had a disability or something lol but he was working for a company and driving a van by himself so obv cant be that bad if he was trusted to go knocking at peoples doors delivering things

idk it all confuses me cos idg why any1 would beep at me or anything like that lol this year im not going trick or treating purely for reason of people being innapropriate lol im sure you remember last years stories Sharon;
every year me andm y friends all dress up and we go trick or treating for the fun of it and its greatttt theres usually like 6 of us and we meet other friends lol not because we krave sweets or watev
mainly cos my mums too lazy to go out and buy sweets for trick or treaters so we go out and take it from other ppl to give as we get loooooaaaads of people haha
https://scontent-a-lhr.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/t1.0-9/1390597_1451243955102118_508061295_n.jpg?oh=fcbe77 91916d4dbc6463079c8757f4dd&oe=54846C3E
okay so those were our costumes lol we're all diff n whatev but i wouldnt say any of us dressed revealing or anything like that lol we didnt walk round with our bums out and boobs flashing everywhere going as a "sexy black cat" lol
we had someone who looked about 50-60 follow us around calling us sexy for a good 10-20 mins until we finally lost them lol then we had some guy in a van parking in a driveway asking for us to go over there if we want free money???? couldve been a random act of kindness sure lol but i was with my friend at that point cos the group separated so two 14yrold girls at the time like would u rly??

i prob just used this to rant to cos i havent told anyone bout this stuff lmao so dont feel need 2 readi t

i would prob say wearing less clothing prob includes risks like what jen said but idk cos even being fully covered up obv can still happen

and 4 your top woo its fab lmao i dont know if id ever feel able to wear that tho
mainly from not feeling comfortable but just around people in general
if iwas to wear that in my area you prob would be given loads of glares from girls cos theyll think youre a '****' or a '****'
a lot of the time people wont care and will just shout it at you
tbh i prob wouldnt even be able to wear that in my house if my stepdad was in either though so might just be me being uncomfortable

ok im done
i didnt think id acc reply to this lol but heyho

[Kardan]

I know I'm male, but this is one of the reasons I don't go out drinking - having to put up with stupid males that literally want anything that moves. You spend the majority of your time looking out for the girls in the group.

[Aiden]

last year i was walking down the road with a female friend and pretty much all the old guys watched her because you could see her stomach lol. its pretty sick so i guess yes it does increase the chances

[buttons]

yea I don't wanna say too much with the risk of being called a feminist or man hater but it'd be nice if guys took into consideration what we experience. Like on the train a few months ago I was sat next to a guy and there was also a guy opposite us. The guy opposite was clearly drunk and touching my leg whilst the guy next to me could clearly see but turned a blind eye and as soon as a seat was free he moved into it just leaving me with this guy. Idk I was too scared to tell anyone :/ n he got off the same station as me and sat next to me n stared at me. It would be nice if the guys around me could have helped me feel safer.
n gina i so know what u mean. when they call u princess and **** then once u ignore them ur suddenly a *****, **** lmao!

[Kardan]

yea I don't wanna say too much with the risk of being called a feminist or man hater but it'd be nice if guys took into consideration what we experience. Like on the train a few months ago I was sat next to a guy and there was also a guy opposite us. The guy opposite was clearly drunk and touching my leg whilst the guy next to me could clearly see but turned a blind eye and as soon as a seat was free he moved into it just leaving me with this guy. Idk I was too scared to tell anyone :/ n he got off the same station as me and sat next to me n stared at me. It would be nice if the guys around me could have helped me feel safer.
n gina i so know what u mean. when they call u princess and **** then once u ignore them ur suddenly a *****, **** lmao!

Now, if I was the guy in that situation (The one turning a blind eye, not the perv), I probably wouldn't say anything directly to the pervy guy (Knowing my luck he'd probably stab me), but I'd say to you something like 'Our stop's next, let's go', just so you could get up and leave. I saw this happen on a bus I was on once, some weird guy (must have been high) was being really sketchy around some teenage girl, so a pair of girls just told her to hurry up or she'd miss the stop, and they all went to sit downstairs.

But then what if people suddenly start thinking I'm the perv for inviting you off the bus with me...

[buttons]

Now, if I was the guy in that situation (The one turning a blind eye, not the perv), I probably wouldn't say anything directly to the pervy guy (Knowing my luck he'd probably stab me), but I'd say to you something like 'Our stop's next, let's go', just so you could get up and leave. I saw this happen on a bus I was on once, some weird guy (must have been high) was being really sketchy around some teenage girl, so a pair of girls just told her to hurry up or she'd miss the stop, and they all went to sit downstairs.

But then what if people suddenly start thinking I'm the perv for inviting you off the bus with me...
it's a shame that people are too scared to get involved in certain situation because of the consequences but he shouldn't have left me! Tbf if someone said to me 'lets go it's our stop' whilst a guy across from me was feeling me up, I'd wonder he was in on it and get scared. But I must admit ive had far more positive interactions with guys. Sometimes I complain when a male friend is being overprotective like 'oh stop talking to him let's go' like my male friends often do but it beats having a creep around u. Ive been like that with my friends like oh come on we need to go to the toilet cause I found the guy scary.

[scottish]

Now, if I was the guy in that situation (The one turning a blind eye, not the perv), I probably wouldn't say anything directly to the pervy guy (Knowing my luck he'd probably stab me), but I'd say to you something like 'Our stop's next, let's go', just so you could get up and leave. I saw this happen on a bus I was on once, some weird guy (must have been high) was being really sketchy around some teenage girl, so a pair of girls just told her to hurry up or she'd miss the stop, and they all went to sit downstairs.

But then what if people suddenly start thinking I'm the perv for inviting you off the bus with me...

better randomers think you're the perv than let someone touch up a girl or something though tbh lol

i'm sure she'd be understanding in the situation though esp if they're giving expressions that it's uncomfortable.

[Kyle]

a lot of ppl mentioning ages a lot. would u be happier to be sexually assaulted by somebody closer to your own age

[scottish]

a lot of ppl mentioning ages a lot. would u be happier to be sexually assaulted by somebody closer to your own age

no, but it's probably more down to the age gap (like 30 yr old doing it to a 16 year old is just ****** up, 16 yr old doing it to a 16 year old seems more acceptable, although ultimately it's not but yeah)

[Red]

I walk everywhere and this happens so often, you just come to expect it. Lanzarote so bad, they would literally stop the car to look at you, even if there were cars behind lmao. Was sick of hearing hello sweetie by the end!

[Jurv]

shaz you should still wear that top, it's fierce and you can deffo werk it x

[buttons]

I walk everywhere and this happens so often, you just come to expect it. Lanzarote so bad, they would literally stop the car to look at you, even if there were cars behind lmao. Was sick of hearing hello sweetie by the end!
yea when i was going around other countries in Europe they were obsessed with me like they loved the fact it was a British girl. like this guy 'u can be my third gf' and another 'are u buying this for ur bf? Or are u single and want to marry me?' looool but they were cute (even if they were 40+) and not scary

[Red]

Yea, everyone says you get rly pervy men in turkey so really put of going there!!

[wixard]

are you guys really that offended by it

it would be nice not to have things shouted or whatever but the majority of the time it's harmless
maybe i'm just jaded

[Gina]

Yea, everyone says you get rly pervy men in turkey so really put of going there!!

there are weird guys in london too om when i went to stratford with jordy+dyl we had 2 guys follow us round lmao we thought was just normal at first n they were shopping except they went into loads of female stores and like boots and the kid toys stores ahhh in the end we went back to the train station n just scanned our tickets so they bobbaed off lol was weird tho pretty sure they did it to a few people tho!! another group of like 3 girls were running from them lol

- - - Updated - - -


are you guys really that offended by it

it would be nice not to have things shouted or whatever but the majority of the time it's harmless
maybe i'm just jaded
am not offended lol just not comfortable
am only 15 lmao i dont find it some fab praise to have random old guys call me princess or beep their horns at me
then again prob me overreacting idk lol

[Bloop]

I've seen something before along the lines of do you think you shld be raped if u 'provoked' it by wearing suggestive clothing .-.

And no I don't think so

when my female friends go out we me they all wear rlly nice clothes *.* and obviously being the ******* I am I wld say sth abt them 'going out like this' and being ***** (I don't mean it) and they just point their finger la middle at moi lmao

Tbh just **** what other people think and the pervy old lechers

[-:Undertaker:-]

I know I'm male, but this is one of the reasons I don't go out drinking - having to put up with stupid males that literally want anything that moves. You spend the majority of your time looking out for the girls in the group.

I go out drinking and it's mainly the girls who are like that.

[scottish]

I go out drinking and it's mainly the girls who are like that.

It's certainly the complete opposite in Scotland.

[-:Undertaker:-]

It's certainly the complete opposite in Scotland.

I can imagine it depending on the places you go to really. I know in university when I am out in clubs with my friends from around Britain, it's more men looking for women where as in Liverpool the bars I go (not conventional clubs) to are more women looking for men.

[j0rd]

down here it depends what days too

friday's/saturday's is normally a penis-fest, whereas wednesday's which is student night is full of girls

[Empired]

I've had a few negative experiences in my city but they're nothing particularly important. I'm not offended I'm just uncomfortable and sometimes embarrassed. But I went out to Italy about a month ago and quite a few men tried to talk to me but I didn't find it uncomfortable at all. They would do things like let me in the queue first saying "after you, beautiful" and they would just leave it at that. Think it was different because u can tell that it was just a compliment and they weren't looking for anything at all from it.

Thought I'd share this experience because jen mentioned the public transport thing:
I have a friend who has to take a very busy bus to get to her work. It's normally so busy she has to stand and is packed in really close with other people, no room to move much or anything. Anyway she told me a few weeks ago (at this point I should mention she is 20 now, was 19 at the time) that she'd been sexually assaulted once on her morning trip back in December. She was wearing a just above the knee-length skirt with thick, wooly tights on cos it was cold and her work uniform top and a jacket. And she was standing in the aisle downstairs next to this man who was sat down. She said she felt something on her leg but that bus is so packed she assumed it was just some1 accidentally bumping into her. But then this guy who was sat down next to her started feeling right up the inside of her thigh and further. Obv couldn't get "in" (if u see what i mean :L) because she had these thick tights on but he was goin as far as he could.

And she was only 19 and had no idea what to do. So she just stood there an let him do it. No one saw cos it was so tightly packed and she was so embarrassed she had to stand still for a good few minutes doing nothing. I think she got out at the next stop and idk what happened after that but highly doubt she went into work.

She told me a few weeks ago 'cause she'd had some counselling and is alright with it now. Not 'alright' as in accepting but she can talk about it whereas she couldn't before. Now she said she wants to tell her friends just to warn us that it's ok to shout out if something like that happens.

So yh. Thought I'd share that with u all. Say something if ur feeling uncomfortable, ladies (and gents too!!!) x

[Hannah]

Meh, understandably it gets very irritating being treated like a piece of meat all the time - but surely it helps out with confidence?

I mean, I much rather having people throwing somewhat crude and sexual compliments at me than being rude or pointing out flaws.

Sure it isn't ideal, but when it isn't going too far and is causing no harm then I don't really see it as an issue.

At work I've been told some of the conversations the security guards and cleaners have about me, but as I had said to them - I don't care what you're saying about me until it's said to me and inappropriately. Of course this was said after I had to complain to my friend who manages the security team about one of their mid-fifty year olds suggesting that I should wear a low-cut top and that he'd zoom in on the cameras to view my assets.

You can always tell them you don't appreciate it if you don't like it. ;)

As for the guys on public transport - I can suggest going up to someone generally 'kind' looking and act as if you know them to escape, and then of course quietly fill them in.

Most people will feel too uncomfortable to turn you away instantly so you're pretty safe with it.

[Inseriousity.]

interesting thread. The more vulnerable you are the more likely you are that you'll be attacked but personally, I think going down that road tends to lead to victim blaming. You should be able to wear whatever the hell you like, walk down whatever dark alley you need to, be as drunk as you want to. The finger of blame should always be on the person who attacked you when you're vulnerable. Take precautions if you have to but don't let that fear get in the way of doing what you want to either (including wearing that top).

My sister was wolf-whistled by guys in a van while we were walking once and I joked that they were doing it for me. It's slightly good that it makes you feel uncomfortable, if you walked down the street and got whistled and were like yeah I'm so great aren't I, that'd be such a turn off. On the other hand, I wouldn't feel too threatened by it. Yes, some men need to learn the definition of 'personal space' but the vast majority of these situations are fleeting. They pass by in an instant. Either you walk past them, they drive past then it's over.

You could wear a burqa as an experiment one day and see what happens then. Chances are you'd probs be attacked for not "fitting in with british culture" etc so either way, some people are always going to be jerks and we shouldn't change the way we are to accommodate them.

[Richie]

No, but i've never found a girl more attractive because they dress like a ****, I'd much prefer a girl properly dressed.

To be fair though the likes of leggings aren't ****** but still sort of 'show' birds arses pretty much, well unless they're wearing a long jumper or something.

Sharon;
If it was just beeping / whistling, even though it's wrong I'd just say ignore it, there's not much you can do but if guys are actually asking you to go places with them you should really speak to someone immediately like your parents or someone supportive like teachers / doctors or even the police (I'd avoid priests.........).

That's ****** up if guys that are well over 18 can chat you up and get away with it, clearly inappropriate.

Does **** like that happen in the UK? Pretty much every guy I know will avoid a bird if they have the slightest bit of doubt that they're underage, bunch of paedos in the uk lol but seriously speak to someone if that **** goes on

[AgnesIO]

Adding to what scottish said, girls are wayyyyy more attractive when they are not dressed up as *****.