how do you get over a break up?

[kuzkasate]

So yeah the title says it all really, how do you personally get over a break up? I suppose it depends because it's kind of different whether you were the one that wanted to break up or whether you're the one that's been dumped. Do you find it helpful if you completely cut the person out of your life? Does it make you feel more at ease if you can see what stuff they post on social media?

For me personally I have to completely cut that person out of my life. I can't do any of that "lets stay friends" **** and normally, I make myself hate that person and I honestly have no idea why. It might seem a bit immature but for me that's what works - I just end up getting myself really angry at that person that I end up feeling relieved in a sense, that we have split up. Like I will start remembering things they've done to **** me off etc. But I also tend to pretend that I don't care, inside I could literally be crumbling but I would never ever show that to anybody or tell anyone - I do the opposite, I make out like I am having the time of my life and pretend I'm so happy. I only do this however, because after a while I actually start to believe and feel happy without that person.

But yeah, how do you do it? I know various friends handle it differently, some lock themselves away and prefer to be alone, others feel like they have to be surrounded by friends. Some people just like to go out and find somebody to sleep with lol.

[wixard]

i just wait, it takes time your feelings can't just disappear over night

i say that i'll stop looking at all their social media like fb/twitter/instagram etc but of course sometimes you just have to, eventually you'll find yourself looking less and less until you just don't do it anymore

also, the only proper way to get over someone is to get under someone else :) :) :)

[kuzkasate]

i just wait, it takes time your feelings can't just disappear over night

i say that i'll stop looking at all their social media like fb/twitter/instagram etc but of course sometimes you just have to, eventually you'll find yourself looking less and less until you just don't do it anymore

also, the only proper way to get over someone is to get under someone else :) :) :)

yeah I know what you're saying, I guess I meant what sort of things do you do to aid the process or make feelings disappear quicker

because say for me, even if I ended with someone on a good note I gradually get so angry at them its like I purposely make myself dislike the person so idk does that make me a bad person?

[Futz]

literally time is a healer

and I agree with wixard , in the past when I've met new romantic interests I forget about the last one and eventually don't even think about them and any bad feelings disappear

just dont beat yourself up over it like blaming it on yourself or dwelling on the past, just keep moving forward

theres always someone out there that will be compatible with you

[RyRy]

I don't know whether you're asking for advice or asking a question on this.

I get over breakups with time, and a variety of things do help with that. For example, I broke up with somebody a few years back and had some real trouble getting over them. A few months afterwards and I'm still struggling, but I end up going to Camp America and meeting new people, experiencing new things and a completely different lifestyle. That for me is what helped the most.

Replacing good memories of somebody you loved, with even better memories of experiences and meeting people who made you happier than they ever could've.

Because at the end of the day, time is a good healer but it's what you do with that time that counts.

[kuzkasate]

I don't know whether you're asking for advice or asking a question on this.

I get over breakups with time, and a variety of things do help with that. For example, I broke up with somebody a few years back and had some real trouble getting over them. A few months afterwards and I'm still struggling, but I end up going to Camp America and meeting new people, experiencing new things and a completely different lifestyle. That for me is what helped the most.

Replacing good memories of somebody you loved, with even better memories of experiences and meeting people who made you happier than they ever could've.

Because at the end of the day, time is a good healer but it's what you do with that time that counts.

oh no lol I'm not asking for advice, I've just been through one recently though and it has made me think of how I deal with it and the things I do but generally I agree, I found that when I kept myself occupied or when I was surrounded by other people I was fine but when I was alone, particularly at home I started to think a lot and it felt like I went back to square one

[Empired]

I just wait. Can take a while but I get there in the end.

And ice cream in the short term (A)

[Sharon]

i hav to move on asap lol, that does sound really bad and it is to be honest but yeah the only way i tend to get over people is if i start speaking to someone else. not so much if i'm the one that called things off tho. i don't like to 'stay friends' either because if i ended it then i don't particularly want them in my life anymore and if they ended it w/me they prob will have hurt me so wouldn't want them in my life either

tldr: i always rebound asap

[Cassiieee]

With my first ex, I made myself hate him so much, to this day, I still hate him, and done the same as you, cut him out my life. That was 4 years ago.

With my other ex, I broke up with him, it wasn't working. and just deleted him of everything, so I didn't end up, seeig what he's up to, if he tried to make me feel guilty or anything.

[Samantha]

i hav to move on asap lol, that does sound really bad and it is to be honest but yeah the only way i tend to get over people is if i start speaking to someone else. not so much if i'm the one that called things off tho. i don't like to 'stay friends' either because if i ended it then i don't particularly want them in my life anymore and if they ended it w/me they prob will have hurt me so wouldn't want them in my life either

tldr: i always rebound asap

Lmao, I'm like that, but I've only had one 'proper' break up (I'll say proper as he was a long term boyfriend yet dumped me by text). Around a week later I'd started speaking to someone new, and although it wasn't meant to develop into something more straight away it did. My ex's friend (who originally got me and my ex together, but he was an idiot in the end [the friend]) said he was just my rebound after we'd been together months lmao.

Anyway, almost 2 years on (with a break, although it's better now) we're still fine. So unfortunately I don't really know how I'd get over it. When me and my current boyfriend had a break it was different as nothing really changed and we wanted to be with each other deep down anyway!

[OldLoveSong]

the more you love the more you hurt, but it can only make you stronger. Time heals all wounds. the only way to get over things is to let yourself grieve and everyday it gets a tiny weeny bit better.

[Zak]

Time. That's usually all it takes. It can take a long time too, esp if you haven't found anyone better :)

[Becca]

i wait till i finally digest them