Are paedophiles who don't act on their feelings still in the wrong?

[Empired]

I think everyone at HabboxForum can agree that child abuse (of any kind, but here we're talking about sexual abuse) is wrong, but what about the adult who are sexually attracted to minors who never act on their feelings?

Should they be punished or "treated" for their attractions or should they be left alone as long as they don't abuse children? By letting them roam around in society is it just an "accident waiting to happen"? Should they have to voice their feelings or should they be allowed to keep them to themselves?

Basically do we have to protect minors from paedophiles who never act on their attractions?

Note: I'm using the term "paedophile" to mean anyone attracted to those who are underage - being a paedophile does not automatically mean you have acted on your feelings.

[Joe]

That is a really difficult one, but I think I'd let them be as long as they don't act on their feelings. I guess you can roughly compare it to someone wanting to kill someone but never acting on it - you can't punish them for thinking about it as long as they don't act upon it? I'm not too sure, I think that's my view anyway.

[Empired]

That is a really difficult one, but I think I'd let them be as long as they don't act on their feelings. I guess you can roughly compare it to someone wanting to kill someone but never acting on it - you can't punish them for thinking about it as long as they don't act upon it? I'm not too sure, I think that's my view anyway.
That's definitely a point of view that I agree with but I have so many conflicting perspectives that I also agree with that I don't know what to think!

I hear some paedophiles are arguing that it's like any other sexuality where you can't control what you're attracted to, you're just born with it and are campaigning for paedophilia to become an actual sexuality. I don't think that's right at all.

[Joe]

That's definitely a point of view that I agree with but I have so many conflicting perspectives that I also agree with that I don't know what to think!

I hear some paedophiles are arguing that it's like any other sexuality where you can't control what you're attracted to, you're just born with it and are campaigning for paedophilia to become an actual sexuality. I don't think that's right at all.

OH god no - making it a sexuality almost condones it, which is completely wrong. I can't help but accept that some people are attracted to them and they can't change that fact at all, but to attempt to normalise it in that way is horrific.

[MKR&*42]

Your definition is actually incorrect (I can't tell if this was intentional or not). A paedophile is someone who has had sex with an underage person, if you only have the feelings then you merely have paedophilia.

I've complained about this a lot on other forums because it's frustrating how society seems not prepared to help anyone who has paedophilia, hasn't acted on it, and wants to overcome the feelings. Like every other paraphilia and fetish, it is deeply rooted (biologically speaking) and essentially a core part of that person's personality - it is not an "on/off" feeling, much like how someone's desire to have sex with a male/female isn't "on/off".

I don't wanna rant about this loads, so I'll just link to a BBC article which describes the good response Germany is taking to these people with paedophilia:

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-33464970

[FlyingJesus]

If someone hasn't committed a crime they're not a criminal and can't be charged as one, simple. Thinking about robbing a house isn't an offence

[Sian]

Yep, if the person has paedophilia but not acted then they have done nothing wrong. Reminds me of that documentary on channel 4, a guy with paedophilia openly spoke about it, how he refused to act on it but couldn't help how he felt, thus he seeked help.

If we allowed more people to be vocal about this issue and understood that they're not all out there to become a paedophile, we might actually start to fix it.

[Empired]

Yep, if the person has paedophilia but not acted then they have done nothing wrong. Reminds me of that documentary on channel 4, a guy with paedophilia openly spoke about it, how he refused to act on it but couldn't help how he felt, thus he seeked help.

If we allowed more people to be vocal about this issue and understood that they're not all out there to become a paedophile, we might actually start to fix it.
But at the same time as a parent (hypothetically ;) x) wouldn't you be worried about letting your kids near them? By allowing them to keep quiet about their urges we are potentially letting people with paedophilia into schools, playgroups and all sorts of places without anyone ever knowing.

[Sian]

But at the same time as a parent (hypothetically ;) x) wouldn't you be worried about letting your kids near them? By allowing them to keep quiet about their urges we are potentially letting people with paedophilia into schools, playgroups and all sorts of places without anyone ever knowing.

Parents will always worry about everything. It's a difficult argument though, should we be allowing them near temptation? I hope that they themselves would do what they could to avoid jobs around children at least and we could regulate it but that could end up being like the government regulating those with thoughts about murdering people.

My initial argument is mainly about if the person comes forward for help and that we should acknowledge that most don't want to be paedophiles. It's difficult.

[lRhyss]

If someone hasn't committed a crime they're not a criminal and can't be charged as one, simple. Thinking about robbing a house isn't an offence
But what if (Said out loud)

"I'm going to rob a house"

"I'm going to fiddle a kiddy"

Doesn't sound right

[FlyingJesus]

That would be a direct threat, which is illegal

[Becca]

we all have random thoughts in our head that's probably illegal like wow i'm gonna actually murder flyingjesus because he has autism, but that's not illegal? i reckon if someone was to have a thought like that and went to seek help professionally to aid the thoughts they are 100% not in the wrong

[FlyingJesus]

Good thing -repping isn't illegal ;|||||||||||||||||||||||| no autism here please don't try to date me

[Kyle]

But what if (Said out loud)

"I'm going to rob a house"

"I'm going to fiddle a kiddy"

Doesn't sound right
neither of those sound right

[lRhyss]

neither of those sound right

Yeah but the first one sounds more acceptable haha

[Empired]

neither of those sound right
you're right but i see what rhyss means about it never being ok to joke about child abuse. like even when you're playing online games with those terrifying guys who only ever leave their bedrooms to go to the hospital after asthma attacks they'll scream all sorts of abuse at you about your mum or whatever but child abuse jokes would still fall completely flat.

[Darien]

The real question is --

"but what about the adult who are sexually attracted to minors who never act on their feelings?"

What do you consider to be "acting on their feelings".

Does that reference they themselves going out, abducting a child or whatever, and performing sexual acts?
Would watching kiddy porn count?

If by act on their feelings you mean SPECIFICALLY going out and grabbing a child.. That's one thing.

However act on their feelings could also mean, as I said, the kiddy porn... Is their attraction wrong? Not necessarily; we don't really know if it is or isn't, because we're not in their minds... That would be like saying "is a mans attraction to a man wrong" -- imo.

HOWEVER; if you take kiddy porn into consideration, which in and of itself encourages those who do the acts "first hand" to continue; would have to say of course... IF they can control themselves, like for instance, a sadomasocit who is attracted to such but does not participate or does not witness.. That's another topic; I'd think.

We can never know what's in another minds, not truly... (yet.. muahaha) So we cannot outright repremand someone who has done nothing. (Assuming they haven't.)

If the topic is more "is it the act of doing it, or the mindset of it; that's wrong" then it would be the act.. Because we cannot necessarily judge the persons mindset; as I've stated previously.

A lot of people believe that "we should just kill them", but where does that stop? Is it pedo? homo? hetero? Who is to say one person is wrong; when another is right... It's all about consentual acts. A child cannot condone; because they do not understand.. Adults, in general, can.

If your answer is "to kill them"; as many believe, then what's to say I don't kill you, or you, or you (whomever these figurative you's are) because you go against what I think.. or what I believe. Where is the line drawn.

Should they seek help? YES
Should we encourage them to seek anonymous help? YES (Anonymous for the fact that as stated above; their lives ARE in danger from those radicals.)

[Jake]

Can i just point out..
That you can get arrested for 'conspiricy of murder' you havnt commited the crime yet you have thought it through. It's sort of the same to some points raised in this thread.

[Darien]

In criminal law, a conspiracy is an agreement between two or more persons to commit a crime at some time in the future. IF those people were conspiring to steal a child; then yes, there may be a case.

/Thinking/ about killing someone; is not conspiracy to murder.

[Reality]

How do you explain that? You're NOT going to know if someone has pedophilia just by looking at them, sending a child to a playgroup is common practice, you can't just presume someone has it without inquest or at least interviews. Like it happens every single day of the year, and happens 24/7 its not like you can't not send a child to a playgroup?!?!?!?! You need to if you have to support them.

Also, if you're "allowing" them to keep quiet about their urges then you're doing something wrong? You should be guiding them to the right places as well as helping them with what they have rather than being like, "hey just keep quiet don't talk about it".

You're never going to be able to stop it or control it, unless that person confesses to it or seeks help much the same with alcoholism, rapists, sex offenders, drug users etc. This has and will always happen in day-to-day life. I'm not saying just continue your life like normal if you do find this happening, but these types of people who have pedophilia need help and direction into what to do about it, not just labeled and pushed to the side.

Also this thing about conspiracy of murder is completely irrelevant as this isn't to with murdering someone its about the intimate and desires and feelings someone has towards a child underage??? You literally cannot arrest someone and imprison them for their feelings, they're still human but their feelings towards people are lets say more "enhanced", under UK legislation and law. However, you can offer and give them help and advice.

How much of that makes sense idk, that's just what was running through my head at this time.
But at the same time as a parent (hypothetically ;) x) wouldn't you be worried about letting your kids near them? By allowing them to keep quiet about their urges we are potentially letting people with paedophilia into schools, playgroups and all sorts of places without anyone ever knowing.

[Coactum]

One thing I will say is that when we make simply thinking something outright illegal, then we stray into very dangerous territory as a society. We can break it up into two parts, being attracted to kids and not acting on it, or being attracted to kids and acting on it.

Is being attracted to kids inherently evil? Of course not. Is it distasteful? Definitely.

Is acting on that attraction evil? I'd say so. To permanently scar a vulnerable child for sexual gratification is downright horrific and should never be tolerated.


I think it's utterly wrong to condemn someone for thoughts. I work in mental health and believe me, I've heard some pretty alarming ideas. The attraction should be considered an intolerable fetish and a mental health issue as opposed to painting and therefore demonising every person who struggles with it. The people who act on it should be punished accordingly, but people who think it? The outright stigma forces people with these thoughts to hide away and fester as opposed to feeling like they can reach for help, and that can only make things more dangerous. Mental health illness is not something you can magic away by pretending it's not there. There needs to be a wider berth imo.

Realistically there will always be predators, and we'll never get rid of the issue - the problem is, societies inadvertantly bury the entire subject under the carpet by refusing to understand that maybe some of these people need help as opposed to shot. Even saying things like this makes a lot of people uncomfortable, as if their resolve against something so abhorrent must be black and white and any less is wrong.

[AgnesIO]

I am seemingly in agreement with the majority; as long as they do not act on their feelings (or conspire to act on them), you can't really put them in the wrong. As others have said, sexual attractions are said to be deep within a person. The next question is; are you born gay? If you believe that to be the case, the same must be said for someone attracted to children.