death

[Gina]

on tuesday I found out my grandma passed away so been quite sad
normally id go to a funeral and hear everyone say stories about the time and like them remembering
then everyone would be sad and u spend the time with all ur family and they talk about everything etcetc
and for me that makes everything a hell of a lot easier and being around people who have the same feelings and whatev else
(sorry this is prob a rly stupid thread lol)

next week ive got exams on monday wednesday and thursday but the funeral is on wednesday
as a result i cant go which upsets me even more
and then its in scotland which further upsets me as i wont be around people going through the same because my mum and sister wont be here
i'll be with my stepdad but that makes me feel worse if anything lol

normally its fine and can just mourn n be sad and whatever else and it gets easier
but now ive got exams so i cant just sit mourn n be sad because ive got to go revise for exams and sit exams and concentrate
all of which i cant do because im sad and when im sad i want to sleep and obv if i sleep i cant do work

really im trying to ask for advice on what to do/how to cope
how to try focus on other things (especially in exams when my mind is everywhere lol)
is it better to let it out or is it better to keep it in so during my exams i can focus then let it out but will it make me lose focus idk
stess does not help

sorry if this seems like a really petty thread

i found out on tuesday and sat an exam on wednesday and it really did not go well at ALL so i really dont want any more to turn out like that seeing as ive got 3 this week
i ended up getting really emotional in the exam and then didnt help it was the hardest paper ive sat so missed out 30/75 marks or something stupid

[scottish]

can't you get delayed exams due to that?

i'm pretty sure someone here got that.

[Gina]

can't you get delayed exams due to that?

i'm pretty sure someone here got that.

they can send a letter to the exam board and i can get 5% added to my marks if i dont perform as well as expected
been told nothing about delayed exams etc though so i assume not

[RuthOnToast]

My biology teacher was talking to someone who had just lost her granddad and was talking about being able to be excused from the exams and using her predicted grades or grades from her mock not sure how that works tho

Exams can be very important for your future i know its horrid to lose someone but you can't let it ruin your chances of doing well and exams will soon be over and surly you want to do her proud and get great grades

[Red]

Sorry to hear Gina :( wakes and funerals are so important for the grieving process. It really does help being with other people and sharing memories. I lost my granny and granda last month, so I know how hard it is to try and focus. Awful that it's happened right in the middle of your exams. Would they not have organised the funeral for the day you didn't have one? :( my cousin was in Mexico when my grandparents passed but we managed to hold back the funeral of one so he could go. Have you seen anyone about special consideration? Just try and make her proud by trying your best!!

[Gina]

Sorry to hear Gina :( wakes and funerals are so important for the grieving process. It really does help being with other people and sharing memories. I lost my granny and granda last month, so I know how hard it is to try and focus. Awful that it's happened right in the middle of your exams. Would they not have organised the funeral for the day you didn't have one? :( my cousin was in Mexico when my grandparents passed but we managed to hold back the funeral of one so he could go. Have you seen anyone about special consideration? Just try and make her proud by trying your best!!
the only day i could do is the friday that week (or anytime after) but they already delayed it for my mum
then on the friday is the 1 day my mum couldnt do
and aw im sorry about your grandparents :( and yeah the teacher spoke to me abotu special consideration which is the 5% if i dont perform as expected

[buttons]

do ur exams not have resit days and u could do it then? but yes do let it all out, it's not easy to do exams/school work when u have something else on your mind. maybe u could organise a trip with ur fam to visit at the grave after your exams are all over, that could stop u thinking about it a bit?

[Red]

Ahh it's so diff in England. Here the funeral is like 3 days after. Any way you could go up after your exam to be with your family? I think you can apply for it before you try your results so make sure you inquire.

[Elegance]

this is not a petty thread at all, i definitely agree you should just let it all out, you'll be more distracted and feel even worse if you just keep trying to bottle up your emotions. the best thing to do is to take care of ourself and if you feel like it, then just cry!!

always here if you ever want to talk x

[Empired]

Delaying or resitting exams is just not an option, sorry Gina. As someone who's been through and asked all this stuff because of my dad, I was told the rules are you're allowed to take time off for an immediate family member (parent or sibling) and I was specifically told I could only be excused from an exam if he died within the 24 hours before I was supposed to take an exam. So if he died on a Tuesday and I had an exam on a Thursday it would be tough luck really :(
It does seem very harsh but I can sort of understand why they do it because otherwise the country would be full of kids being like "oh my step aunt died two days ago I need to get my predicted grades for exams this week" :/.

I don't know how good my advice will be for you because obv we're all different but I've lost all of my grandparents and all I can suggest (if it's possible) is to just try and push through your exams the best you can, just hold on and then let it all out afterwards. You might not be able to do that but that was what I did and it was awful afterwards but I did find it quite easy to put off my grief because I knew there were only (e.g) 3 days left until I could tackle the problem.

It'll be ok soon enough though :( xxx Hope I helped lol but my advice might have sucked

[_HeyyItsHannah_]

Gina, to be completely honest with you.. It's easier to take the exams now, then later. It's easier to stress about them now, and then really have time to mourn after, than delay them and be stress about so many other things..

Both my father and mother passed away within a year of each other. I was still in school for both. My dad's passing was December 28th, 2014, so I was still on christmas break. Coming back to school.. It was fine because i had some days to really sit and i guess absorb everything, though I was still in shock.

In Jaunuary of this year, when my mom passed, I started right back in to school. I took a few days off, but. It was necessary yknow. It's my mother. It was rough, but after my tests that I had completed, I felt a lot better and I was able to cry, mourn, whatever I needed because I knew that I didn't have to go up and get a study book.

I can honestly say, don't push it back too far. If you need to for funeral and stuff, just do it for that. Nothing else. You will perform better at the very start because your body is still in shock and it's kind of like nothing happened until it hits you.

For me, after my mom died i went back to school and we started on the 8 stages of grief for health lol. That one was rough, i probably cried through about 5 of those lessons, but I never asked to be excused, or do them at a later time. The more you wait, the worse it'll become.

that's my advice.

ALSO. TAKE THE 5% JUST IN CASE SO IF YOU GET A RLY HARD EXAM YOU HAVE AN EXTRA 5% WOOP