help please x

[Gina]

SO i got home from school today and my stepdad and my mum were angry for some reason
you may have seen my previous thread in this forum was that my grandma passed away
well she lived in scotland with my uncle. today my mum got a letter in the will
turns out my grandma hasnt left my mum anything at all??? but wats even worse is that my uncle had stuff to do with it lol
as far as my mum is concerned she doesnt have a brother anymore. like shes not allowed to have any of the things from her house?? not just like lil things to remember her or anything
absolutely EVERYTHING is left to my uncle
my mum spoke to her uncle and the rest of the family are shocked that he'd do that

my stepdad however seems to be taking it further than any1 else?? when I went upstairs to my room he asked me to get a photo of my uncles girlfriend or link to her facebook???
i was like why she doesnt even have facebook either??? and he went on to say like "he wants to make it public" ???
he then continued to say NO you can't tell your mum. don't even mention ANY of this to her
so i said I doubt its something she wants public?? its to do with her you need to tell her ???
he was like no just you cant tell her

I obv really want to tell my mum because I don't see why my stepdad should make it public knowledge and why he shouldnt consult my mum about it
my stepdad when hes angry however definitely is not the nicest of people. it really doesn't help hes got aspergers
meaning that if I piss him off or "lose his trust", it means he won't "trust" me again and godknows how many family arguments will come from it

so what do i do???
do i tell my mum that my stepdad is gonna make shit public that shes not gonna like (bearing in mind the effects it'll have on my stepdad and will probably petrify me having to stay alone with him ever again lmao bad enough as it is)
or do i not tell my mum and leave my stepdad to do as he pleases with the risk that he brings up that we had a previous conversation abotu it ?? i mean i did tell him that he NEEDS to tell her because if it gets back to other family as well, i doubt they'll want anything to do with my mum (despite it not even being her)

dunno this might seem like a really stupid thread but a lot of trouble will come from it if I tell my mum (the last time any family arguments happened he got put into a mental ward after trying to kill himself multiple times lol) in general hes really not nice when hes mad as well
and he lets a lot out when my mum has left us alone like when she goes on holiday the arguments usually peak

sorry if this is v stupid!

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tl/dr: family thing went on in my mums side so she mad at uncle
my stepdad wants to make it public without telling my mum but has now told me and tried to involve me
he gets very angry and weird and dont really want it backfiring on me, but also dont want it backfiring on my mum
tell or don't tell my mum lol

[scottish]

i'd tell your mum, your stepdad will get over it soon as he goes public he can't exactly take it back so if it's gonna seriously piss your mum off posting stuff like that publicly then it'll be irreversible.

[Gina]

i struggle to understand why he wants to make it public knowledge ????? which is even more reason to tell my mum
why would u want peeps to know that
and im sure my mum wouldnt want to either (along with most people??)
but no he insists unless theres something i dont know
why isnt he telling my mum though help

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i'd tell your mum, your stepdad will get over it soon as he goes public he can't exactly take it back so if it's gonna seriously piss your mum off posting stuff like that publicly then it'll be irreversible.

i don't think he will though
his aspergers makes it so that he doesn't really forgive like that
his opinions are very black/white and once they're made its hard to change them
once hes hating someone, he doesnt go back

also thank you for the reply

[Brad]

If your uncle had got your grandma to sign everything over without recollection of her doing so may be illegal but they have to prove that part in court.
I'm sorry that this is happening. I went through something similar with my partner and his mother.

[FlyingJesus]

Your mum will need to know because as you say she isn't going to want this being aired on facebook and stuff... and if the uncle doesn't even have fb or whatever then what good will it even do to put it on there, everyone who needs to know about it does know already. If you can trust your mum to not tell him how she found out then tell her, if not then idk maybe try to drop some hints about it but don't put yourself in danger please. Realistically your stepdad needs to be locked away where he can't threaten and intimidate people into letting him have his way all the time but until that becomes a proper option I don't think you should put yourself in his firing line, he's a horrible piece of work

[Gina]

Your mum will need to know because as you say she isn't going to want this being aired on facebook and stuff... and if the uncle doesn't even have fb or whatever then what good will it even do to put it on there, everyone who needs to know about it does know already. If you can trust your mum to not tell him how she found out then tell her, if not then idk maybe try to drop some hints about it but don't put yourself in danger please. Realistically your stepdad needs to be locked away where he can't threaten and intimidate people into letting him have his way all the time but until that becomes a proper option I don't think you should put yourself in his firing line, he's a horrible piece of work

im the only way she would've found out though seeing as he hasnt spoken to charlotte or anyone else about it
my uncle has facebook also just not his partner (dunno why she was included either)

[Cerys]

Ummm yeah I'd tell your mum, if you're scared of it backfiring on you like your stepdad loses trust in you then make it clear to your mum that you dont want him to find out you told her

but tbh you'd rather have your mums trust than his I'm assuming? Not telling her and her finding out you knew could make her lose trust in you so definitely tell her




also if she's that bothered about not getting anything from the will iirc she can dispute it with lawyers and such and get the will changed cos she's the daughter so the chances are she'd get access to some stuff

[dbgtz]

Yes basically whatever has been said in this. Tell your mum as making this kind of thing public is a bad idea especially if she decides to approach it by contesting the will.

[Empired]

Yes basically whatever has been said in this. Tell your mum as making this kind of thing public is a bad idea especially if she decides to approach it by contesting the will.
Ya same I can't believe that hasn't been brought up earlier. If he goes public on fb then her trying to find out more about the will is suddenly going to become close to impossible.

You have to talk it through with your mum and tell her you're scared of your step dad finding out you told her, I think she'd understand?

[Gina]

Ya same I can't believe that hasn't been brought up earlier. If he goes public on fb then her trying to find out more about the will is suddenly going to become close to impossible.

You have to talk it through with your mum and tell her you're scared of your step dad finding out you told her, I think she'd understand?
nono she wouldn't say it was me 4sure
but i'm the only one hes spoken to so he'd know it was me anyway and yeah I know :(
than ku for replies plz x

[FlyingJesus]

Could tell her and get her to just casually mention to him that she doesn't want any public display from it all, make it look like it's just a passing thought of hers