child custody

[buttons]

ok i know none of u can give me real legal advice but idk just calm me down

basically, my brother and his gf split up because she couldn't deal with him being diagnosed with a progressive disorder. my brother came to stay with my mum. one day my brother went to his exes house to pick up belongings and he found her lying on the sofa passed out with an empty wine bottle whilst their 3 yr old son was reaching behind the sofa for an old mouldy banana because she didn't feed him

my brother picked him up, took him back to my mums where he lived for a year. another 1.5 year later, they now have their own house with my brothers new pregnant girlfriend and her son.

in the 2.5 years since my brother took my nephew, she has been very inconsistent with her visits. my brother & her agreed with social services she would see him once a week for a few hours. she basically turned up 5 times in that 2.5 years. one of the rules was she wasn't to take my nephew to her house because she had been caught with drugs there & had a violent boyfriend, but my brother found out she had taken him, so he cut contact & she didn't bother to get in touch.

however fast forward to now, she's jealous that my nephew has a new mummy, will be having a brother soon etc, & she's decided to go for full custody. now i know that all statements from the health professionals/social services will be in my brothers favour (she had been reported to social service for not taking my nephew to nursery, not potty training him and he was really behind developmentally - since he's been with my brother he's improved sooooo much & the developmental lady, his teachers etc think he's been much better off with his dad) but im just sick with worry because i know often custody favours the "mother". additionally, my brother is disabled and am so worried that they will look at him think he can't look after his son and give him to his mum, even tho he's more capable of looking after him than she is.

i know that even if she's given custody my family will fight it but am just so worried that the wrong decision will be made as it most often is for mothers/fathers n ugh!!!!! it's awful, anyone give me advice or anything?? just something to make me feel better

TLDR; nephews mum fighting for custody, drug user who barely fed him, rarely saw him in the 2.5 years since being in my in my brothers custody, worried she will get custody as she's female & my brother is disabled.

[Empired]

Put simply you have an extremely strong case if for some reason they do decide to give full custody to the mother. Start collecting information for your case ahead of time if you need to as you can never be too prepared and it might help you to feel a bit better as well.

Really you're right in that people do tend to favour the "mother" but if you get anyone with half a brain they'll instantly see that a loving father is much more important than a jealous addict of a mother.

[buttons]

case is set for next week but will be deferred until they get the statements
my brother has had a solicitor since he took my nephew, she doesn't have a leg to stand on tbh but my main worry is they will say he isn't fit to look after a child, he's about to have 3 of them! he's much more fit than an alcoholic who can't keep a job or pay rent ugh.

[Inseriousity.]

I have an "uncle" (family friend that everyone calls uncle) that has gone through a similar situation. Had a kid with an ex but she was messed up with drugs and neglected him. He's 11 now and she said she'd cleaned up her act and wanted to go for custody. He felt like he had to jump through hundreds of hoops and that the system was against him. He had a few rants about that.

He won in the end so it is still possible. Keep fighting. By the sounds of it, your brother has a strong case. He's going to find it stressful but he should get through it.

[buttons]

oh ya forgot to say basically they just agreed she would get him every 2nd Saturday 10-4 but they will keep an eye on if she comes, if shes on time, my nephews mood after being with her etc. then in a few months it'll be reviewed. I think her end goal is still full custody but I think by time she gets there she will realise being a parent isn't just taking selfies with ur kid.

[Reality]

Like not only psychologically but physically for the kids health it would be better for him to be with his dad and his new girlfriend and her kid. Due to the bonding experiences he will gain with a "mother" figure as well as bonding with a potential step-sister whereas, reflective of this relationship if he was put with his biological mother and her aggressive boyfriend and in the unknown presence of drugs - that long-term, can impact vastly on his understanding and social morals when he grows up - being exposed to aggressive atmospheres can also hinder the kids psychological health when he is older especially if his mother is exposed to violence from her boyfriend (given she is given full custody), which could lead to abuse etc etc.

Generally yes a court would 'favour' a mother in most decisions however, they would probably take into account there are more aggravating factors in your explanation than mitigating - some of which could have major impacts on the kids health and well being (the drugs, aggressive boyfriend etc) and to put it nicely if the mother is addicted to drugs it's something like 78% of addicts will relapse in the future.

I know some of the things I have put into this could be "extreme" but they're very probable and should be made apparent if you have that sort of concern.

There's so many factors that weigh in on something like this (and the fact his father is disabled would be a minor one if he's successfully taken care of him for 2.5 years already), but for the kids sake, I definitely hope that he is kept with his father.