Is age an important factor in relationships?

[Triz]

https://i.ibb.co/bKqDM9V/kj.png

Do you think that age is an important factor in relationships?


We can't help who we fall in love with, love isn't something that categorizes people by age, so why should we conform to social norms when doing so can have a negative impact on our lives and prevent us from being truly happy?

The older you get the less age matters, in the sense that if you're 38 and dating an 18 year old, there is a 20 year difference there, which can be frowned upon, however if you're 38 and dating a 58 year old then it's less of a stigma.

So with this in mind, is the social stigma surrounding the age gap only applicable if there is a young and/or vulnerable person involved?

What are your views on this, do you think age matters in a relationship?



THIS DEBATE ENDS ON THE 16TH OCTOBER

For more information on the debate guidelines and how to win prizes see the guidelines thread here (https://www.habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=848168)

[Triz]

This debate is now open!

[scottish]

Not really, date who you want

Personally I wouldn't date anyone under 24 or over 30 atm, I tend to go for folk a year or two younger than me.

[Samantha]

Not really, I think it just depends what age you start going out with each other. E.g. if it was a 16 year old and a 30 year old it wouldn't be seen in a positive light! I also think it's just up to your preference as well, I know you can't choose who you fall in love with, but knowing someone is X amount older or younger than you could mean you aren't as attracted to them. Personally, I'm 24 and my boyfriend's 29 and I'd probably say that's around my limit (I did date someone younger once, it was awful).

[lawrawrrr]

So from my own experience I PREFER older men to younger / same age men as a lot of men mature later and I really can’t stand immature people. Many (not all) older people are also in a different state of life; starting to settle down, serious and settled in career, know what they want, and younger people aren’t always of the same mindset.

I don’t really care about number personally but society itself sees the whole half your age plus 7 as a “rule” and the pressures of other people can really affect people in a relationship which does suck.

So really I would say AGE doesn’t matter but personality and maturity DOES, and they are definitely correlated with age.

[scottish]

So from my own experience I PREFER older men to younger / same age men as a lot of men mature later and I really can’t stand immature people. Many (not all) older people are also in a different state of life; starting to settle down, serious and settled in career, know what they want, and younger people aren’t always of the same mindset.

I don’t really care about number personally but society itself sees the whole half your age plus 7 as a “rule” and the pressures of other people can really affect people in a relationship which does suck.

So really I would say AGE doesn’t matter but personality and maturity DOES, and they are definitely correlated with age.

i'm 50 at heart

but yes I agree I focus more on their like state of life (i.e. they want to settle down, have a job, preferably don't live with parents, etc) rather than age.

[Samantha]

So from my own experience I PREFER older men to younger / same age men as a lot of men mature later and I really can’t stand immature people. Many (not all) older people are also in a different state of life; starting to settle down, serious and settled in career, know what they want, and younger people aren’t always of the same mindset.

I don’t really care about number personally but society itself sees the whole half your age plus 7 as a “rule” and the pressures of other people can really affect people in a relationship which does suck.

So really I would say AGE doesn’t matter but personality and maturity DOES, and they are definitely correlated with age.

Someone I used to work with was around 18 (male) when they started going out with someone who was around 26 (female) at the time. I think they had the settle down kind of talk (they were together for 2+ years I think) and I assume the guy obviously didn't want to settle at that age therefore they broke up. The guy wasn't the most mature so it fits in lmao.

[buttons]

I'm one of those rare females who is actually older than their partner. My boyfriend is 21 and I'm 26, though you probably can't tell there is an age difference. On paper, there's no way I would have ever dated someone younger than me, I've always gone for slightly older. When I met my boyfriend I think his age was briefly mentioned but it didn't really sink in because he was so much more mature than other guys I had met. In the beginning I was super worried as he's still in University and I'm way past that. I worried he'd want to go out drinking all the time whilst I'm ready to settle down in the next few years. We talked about it early on and came to a compromise we're both happy with.

I agree with whoever said it was about life stages. My boyfriend has lived alone so he can cook and clean and knows the value of money. He isn't very interested in drinking and he's very motivated academically and career-wise. He is from a different culture and a different upbringing to Brits as well which makes a difference too as there are different expectations for him as a man and how he fits into society. There can be evident age gaps in terms of when I'm talking about taxes, credit and so on but then there are also gaps when he talks about engineering or maths, so these are things we admire in each other and can learn from each other.

Had I known how young he was from the beginning we probably wouldn't have ended up together because I would have been so worried about the gap but it just wasn't a thing until we were already a thing and the only person that worried about it was me! It never really comes up at all in our relationship and actually we find it has quite positive reactions because it's different and we aren't going by society and the whole theory that men like younger women because of a biological drive and women want older men for their money. His friends get jealous he has an older, mature girlfriend and as we get older women will be jealous I have a younger man. Its motivated me to do well in my career and be independent financially having a younger, student boyfriend. It's really fun to have the tables turned and not force myself into a "socially acceptable" relationship when neither of us are doing any harm by being together.

I don't care about other people's age gaps and I think it's great when I see other women dating younger men (within reason). I don't care about other people's relationships, period, and there are much bigger worries in many people's relationships than one being slightly older than the other.

So far age hasn't mattered in my relationships. I've had relationships or flings with people younger and older and the maturity levels haven't matched age. So many more factors to consider.

I do find it strange when someone has a pattern of dating much older or much younger because that shows there are problems there IMO. See:

https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/03/12/20/10901460-6801125-image-a-112_1552422698078.jpg

There's nothing wrong with the women being the ages they are, just the fact he doesn't seem to want to date under 25 even as he gets older. Pattern.

[lawrawrrr]

i'm 50 at heart

but yes I agree I focus more on their like state of life (i.e. they want to settle down, have a job, preferably don't live with parents, etc) rather than age.
in some ways you are barely 5 mate

i agree with your general points if not the specifics, but all the things you mentioned are USUALLY linked with age which is why i think some people are v prejudiced

[FlyingJesus]

Get me an old rich guy with a weak heart

[Triz]

There's nothing wrong with the women being the ages they are, just the fact he doesn't seem to want to date under 25 even as he gets older. Pattern.

Does preference ever actually change though?

When you start to develop and mature you start to look at people sexually, and that often starts in our teens, and has fully developed by the time we leave school. So for years we're attracted to people our age.. like 16-25 year olds, but is that just because we're currently that age as well?

For example I can't say I've ever said to someone that a 40-50 year old was drop dead gorgeous, there are attractive 40-50 year olds, but I think I say it "for their age..." type of thing, I would never pursue anyone that age because for me, I'm not sexually attracted to them, but it begs the question, what about in 20 years when I'm also their age? Will I be then? or would it just be a case of me taking personality over looks purely because not many women under 25 want to date a 40-50 year old man unless they're Leonardo DiCaprio apparently lol.

[Empired]

Sorry, late to the party here but I'll chuck my thoughts in

I'm not a huge fan of particularly big age gaps. I agree the gap matters less as both people get older but I still think it's a bit weird when there's a reallyyyy big diff in age. idk I try not to be too judgemental and wouldn't challenge a couple who are in that situation but I'm not a fan

I think it's mainly bc there are big differences in the stages people are in in their lives. The older you get, the less variation there is and the more chance you've had to mature so I guess it matters less but even so, the difference in attitude and "position in life" (for lack of a better term) between a 38 year old and a 55 year old is likely to be quite different and I just don't think that will work most of the time?? A 38 year old might still be looking to start a family (and if they're a woman they're likely to be quite stressed because society SUCKS ugh patriarchy) by that point whereas a 55 year old probably (I say probably not definitely yeah) isn't so likely to be looking for this. A 38 yo would've been born in 1981 whereas a 55 yo would've been born in 1964 and I think you'd be foolish to try and completely ignore that difference or say that it makes no difference at all.

And then the reason the gap is so much more prominent when you're younger is because life changes so much more quickly, like an 18 year old and a 22 year old, that's the difference between just heading off to uni and having finished your undergrad and trying to start a real serious career. Or maybe it's the difference between dicking round in Bali on a gap year and having been in an accounting job for four years already. I think that's obvious that you'll be in very different positions when I look at it like that.

BUT, saying that, there are always exceptions to the rule. I probs wouldn't even call it a rule tbh because it's certainly not steadfast, I'd say it's just more of a general trend. There are always people who mature faster or slower in life and sometimes being at different points in life actually doesn't matter. Sometimes it's a really good thing tbh. But as the question being asked in the thread is whether or not age is an important factor, I'd say anyone would be foolish not to acknowledge it even if they decide it's ok anyway.

I'l use buttons; as an example really, saying she was concerned about the difference in age but then realising that actually it's fine. That's cool. I just think anyone would be daft to completely ignore it.

[LucyFaye]

I think as long as both parties are completely mature and developed adults (Around 21 when the brain finishes developing) then there shouldn't be a problem!

For example:
25 and 55 is creepy and slightly suspicious but it's their business!
15 and 45 is paedophilia.

But even though technically legal, 16 and 46, or hell even 16 and 36 just seems wrong!
The 16 year old is still a child/teenager and hasn't finished developing mentally or physically yet. These years are really important to their development.

But as long as it's two adults and they're consenting, I don't think it's anyone else's business!

In my eyes, it's perfectly normal up to 10 years.
A bigger gap than that is a little strange but again, nobody's business but theirs!

[LordofKittykats]

Dpending if its Age appropriate like legal wise & their in love i think age wouldnt have an issue at all

[JeffDunham-1]

I joined habbo back in 2012 when I was 14-15 somewhere along there, and now I am 22. I don't play to make a ton of friends but I play cause I get bored. I believe if you play past 24-25 then it's time to retire the account but other than that I think it's acceptable for those of my age to play.