Badly Described Jobs ~Ends May 19th

[nic01e]

https://i.ibb.co/ygYHyg8/Copy-of-We-are-Hiring-Now-Instagram-Facebook-ad.jpg (https://ibb.co/gtPkTtD)

As we’re all ancient (Tom) we work jobs,
I push a touch screen buttons all day, explain that I have no control over the price and constantly explain the law for age verification.

For this competition,
Badly describe your job (or dream job) and the most ridiculous entry will win 10c!

[tbl]

This comp is now open!

[LucyFaye]

Full-time cancerous, crippled societal leech.

[Hola.]

Professional Sleeper

[Cadigyna]

Part Time Plate licker

[marieaura]

Destroy my fingernails on barbed wires and demolishing my vocal chords for people with music fetishes

[Triz]

I burn around £900 in diesel every week, ensuring the ice-caps melt at a rate that pleases me and making sure global warming continues it's current path, in an effort to ensure thousands of other individuals as well as companies across the country are able to help me do the same.

[FlyingJesus]

I tell people to give me money so they can use buildings I don't own

[Cody]

Tell drivers to deliver packages