Santa.

Chapter One-

Today was Christmas Eve Eve. The 23rd of December. Santa was in his workshop replying to all his letters. Then the head elf Dudley ran into his office.
''SANTA! SANTA!'' He yelled.
''What an earth is the matter?'' Santa asked.
''Rudolph has gone missing.'' Dudley said.
''This is terrible! Come on!'' Santa said. They walked into the main hall.
''ELVES! Rudolph has gone missing! We all have to find him!'' Santa shouted. All the elves gasped. They split up and searched for Rudolph. Santa gave up. He went into his workshop and saw a letter with ''Santa'' write neatly on the envolope. He opened it and it read
''Dear Santa, I have took Rudolph because he was very hungry and the fridge has broken. We will be back soon.
Love Bert.'' Bert is an elf.
Santa gave out a sigh of relief. He gathered the elves and told them. The elves worked on the presents again. Soon it was dark and Bert came back with Rudolph. Rudolph went into the stable with the other reindeers and Santa went to bed.

Chapter Two is later :P

It's great except you miss out a lot of punctuation that's needed, and remember, before a connective there's always a comma.

Great story! 9/10!

Good They should make you an Official Story Writer

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wolfie

Good They should make you an Official Story Writer

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Lol. Thanks.

I'll do Chapter Two later :D

Sorry to break the mood but i dont like it. It was boring, i like a tense book and on the edge. In this story you have basically said whats happening and wahts been said. There is nothing to it.

Put some description in it and make bigger chapters ¬.¬

Nice story i like it lol

Chapter Two-

As Santa awoke the next morning he realised it was Christmas Eve. He got his clothes on and walked into the workshop where the elves were working. Santa went over to the smallest elf Snowflake. You see, Snowflake was a special elf. She was a child. But when she was little she climbed into Santa's sack when she was in the orphanage. She also helped Santa and the reindeers deliver presents.
''Hello Snowflake!'' Santa said.
''Hello Santa Claus'' She said.
''What is that your making?'' Santa asked.
''A wooden dolly.'' She said.
''Well, Its very nice.'' Santa said walking off. He went into the kitchen and got his mug out and had some hot chocolate. Then Dudley walked in with a strange thing in his hands.
''What is that?'' Santa asked.
''Its a new rattle shaker'' Dudley said smiling.
''Wow! Amazing. Can you make some more?'' Santa asked.
''Sure thing!'' Dudley said walking back into the workshop.
Santa then went to see Rudolph with some carrots. He fed them to Rudolph and petted him.
''Christmas tommorow Rudolph!'' Santa said.

Chapter Three-

Christmas Day!

chapter two on a new thread.. or update the first one.. its okay 5/10