Desserted (story)

Elo x just thought i'd write a lil story x hope u all like it x

I walked along the path of a desserted street searching for a sign of life. It was as if the world had suddenly become desserted. Maybe everyone was hiding away in their houses from the outside world. But why when it was lovely and warm? Surely everyone would be out hanging on the streets and playing on the local parks. There wasn't a sound to be heard apart from the sound of the wind blowing gently. Turn around and go back. Go home. Make yourself a nice refreshing drink. Call your mates. I told myself. I stopped in the middle of the street and looked around. Why go back to an empty house? My parents and sister were out somewhere. I had chose to stay alone in the house. Guilt rushed over me as i had promised my parents i would stay in the house until they got back. They were really protective about me and always thought i would be kidnapped if i was out by myself. That was very unlikely that afternoon as there was no one about. Go home Imogen. You know you don't want to stay out here. There's a magnum ice cream with your name on it back home in the freezer. I said to myself. I began to walk back the way i had came to go home but suddenly i bumped into something solid. Like a wall was infront of me. But there wasn't a wall there... I tried walking again but i bumped into the invisible 'wall' again. I turned around to walk the other way and immediatly bumped into another wall that i could not see. I walked to the side but i was still unable to go anywhere. I tried the other side but still no luck. "Help!" i cried. I heard my echo seconds later. "No one can hear you," a voice said, making me jump. I turned around to see an old frail man in a short sleeved shirt and summer shorts standing there. He had tatty sandals and wore black sun glasses. "What?" i asked. He pulled his sun glasses off and looked me in the eye. Was i supposed to recognise him, i wondered as the look on his face looked like he was triying to explain something.
"You don't recognise me?" he asked, sounded a little confused. I shook my head starting to get freaked out. I tried to back away but bumped into the invisible wall.
"Do you remember your Dad?" the old man asked her.
"What do you mean... Of course i do... I see him every day," i told him. The old man looked slightly inpatient.
"Not your step-dad, your real dad," he told her, "You know the one that died when you were nine?" He put special emphasis on the word died. Who was this man and what did he want with me? As much as i didn't want to talk to him there wasn't anybody else around and he didn't seem like he would do any harm.
"Does it matter? I'd rather not talk about it," I replied.
"It matters a great deal. I would take you to him but i can't risk it. Exposing our world. No way. All i can say is you are not where you belong. I have no idea how you got here but i do not wish you to stay to find out," the man said. I couldn't help but laugh. This man either seriously believed in the paranormal or was off his head.
"This is no laughing matter. Follow me," he said seriously. I watched as he walked straight through the invisible wall. I tried walking through it but bumped into it. The man waved his hand quickly and i was able to walk through the invisible wall. He suddenly looked worried and tried to hurry me away but i refused to follow him.
"Just don't turn round Imogen," the man told me.
"Wait a minute... How do you know my name?" I asked, suspiciously. There was something weird going on and i wanted to know what.
"You told me it," the old man told me. I shook my head.
"I didn't..." I told him. I started to back away from him and the man seemed to look more worried.
"Who's this?" a voice asked behind me. I span around on the spot and was faced with a man who looked to be in his fourties. I did a double take.
"Oh my gosh!" I cried and ran up to him.
"Imogen!" he exclaimed and hugged me. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was my dad! I looked at the old man. He had tried to stop me from seeing my dad... But how could my dad be alive... He had died when i was nine...
"As nasty as it sounds... your dead dad..." i told him, trying to put it nicely. His smile faded. "You mean when i was on Earth? Yeah, weren't too much of a big deal for me actually. I went onto bigger and better things," he explained. "Oh, what about me, mum and Alice?" I asked. He remained silent. "Or were we just some people to help you through life on our planet?" I asked, starting to get angry.

Part 2 coming soon.....................

This is part one of meh story. i'll do part 2 soon x comment on what u tink of it plz xx from laura xx

Hello sister...good story but you're not allowed to double post lol.

Great Detail. I love it. Write a book, as I said on another thread I said that I publish books. So maybe when you write more parts of a story you can put them all together in one book and thats it.

Keep it up.

Please don't double post.

There are a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes within that passage, a lot of repeated words tire the reader too, however, it does have potential. I would advise that you revise this passage and re-post an improved version.

Thanks for you're comments everyone x I'm probably going to rewrite this and do a better version sometime in the future.