I wrote this short story about 2 years ago. It seems micky mouse but it is just because of my unique sense of humour. I hope you like it. Please post your comments.
The Shortest Robbery
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...actually...
Two black clothed midgets were stading in a dark alley oppossite a national bank.
“Are you ready?” asked Short.
“Not quite” replied Shorter, “My coat zipper is stuck”.
“Forget it” Short hissed, “Let’s go!”. A minute later they were walking across the street. A car swirved to miss Shorter, but hit Short instead. Shorter helped Short up and they approached the bank.
“Now, the bandannas” said Short, as he wrapped one around his face. Shorter fumbled around in his pockets and then stated “I can’t find mine”.
“You fool” Short said, as he glared at his friend, “stop making mistakes”.
The two of them stepped up to the door. “Oh geez! I can’t reach the door handle!” said short.
“I’ll give you a boost” Shorter replied.
“No you fool! I’ll give you a boost”.
“Why?” asked Shorter.
“Because I’m taller” replied Short.
After Shorter was lifted into the air, a receptionist from inside the building motioned to the door.
A plump man came over to the door and gently opened it. THe two theives were knocked back onto the steps. The man looked at the two men in a very odd manner. “Can I help you?” he asked.
“Nothing...nothing” said Shorter.
“I’ll do the talking” Short hissed, “Umm. yes, umm, we need to deposit a check”.
“We do?” asked the man.
“That’s right” Shorter said confidently.
“Okay! This way little fellows” said the man, and he pointed to the door. “Looks like the bank manager” Short whispered, “Proceed with caution”.
As the three of them walked in, SHorter tried to open his jacket. The bank manager walked awat and the two shuffled toward the front desk. Shorter finally managed to remove a handgun. It caught on the zipper, and a shot was fired. Shorter had shot himself in the hand. “Owwwww!” he screamed.
Short quickly grasped his own gun, and fired a shot into the ceiling. “This is a stick up!” he said, “So put your hands on your head!”.
Shorter got to his feet, and revealed his bloody hand. “Not now.” said Short calmly, “Go get the cash”.
Shorter walked over to the the desk. The receptionist did not look at all afraid. “I don’t have time for this” she said, “I’m calling the police”.
“Don’t or I’ll shoot” shouted Short.
“Oh, please!” the woman said with sarcasim. Shorter gestured toward her with his gun. “Why don’t you just take the till” she said boldly.
“Alright” said Short, “Put the money in the bag!”. Shorter grasped the bag of money as soon as she had packed it.
“Run!” yelled Short, and the both shot for the door. The bumped into eachother and Shorter dropped his gun. They pushed open the door, and were running down the street as fast as their little legs could carry them.
They heard a siron. A cop car was chasing them. Shorter was weighed down with the money bad, and could not run very fast. Unlucky for Short; he tripped over his friend and the lay in the middle of the road like a sack of flour.
* * *
The two dwarfs sat handcuffed before the Chief of Police. “I have to admit, I havn’t seen a robbery so stupid in my life. First of all, your so...petit...that you couldn’t open the door without drawing attention to yourself. Second, you didn’t disguise yourself. With twenty-six video cameras, one of them was sure the catch a glimpse of your sorry faces. I know it’s hard to hide your height...he he...but your face wasn’t disguised either...I cannot believe you shot yourself in the hand. Tisk tisk! And to take all of those coins! You could have got twice as much money if you would have took some twenties. You should be ashamed of yourselves!”
“We are” they said in unison.
“Then why did you do it? Rob the place I mean.”
“We watch Bonnie and Clide too much” Shorter murmered.
“You just can’t walk in and out like you used to” Short said.
“You can” said the Police Chief, “Just walking...”
“I guess our robbing days are over said Shorter”.
“Don’t feel to bad! Your going to a Mental Hospital.
* * *
Short woke up in a pair of fresh, white pyjamas. Everything was white! Even the snow outside! “Get me some paper!” he snapped to the nurse. He glanced over at Shorter, then at the white uniform the nurse was wearing. He started writing his stort like this:
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring...actually...
