Help with a family member..

Okay, i need some help with a family member.
Sister to be precise.
Well, i just need some advice on what to do to help her.

She smokes, she has since 2 years ago, and thats worrying me.
She drinks on weekends, and im worried she might do some stuff, or people might do stuff to her whilst shes drunk/drinking.
She has lost her virginity, and she totally regrets that.

The thing i want advice for more so is her temper, she has a horrible temper, she verbally abuses my mum and me, she throws stuff when shes in a mood, and she is getting some help, but i dont think enough as i personally think shes got worse. She knows she has a temper, but she just cant control it.

So, is there anyone who has any advice at all on this?
Im just worried and scared for her. :(

their is no simple answer, your sister is the only one that can help herself you have to make her want to quit smoking and stuff and just try to be nice to her and dont try to **** her off is my advice. one other thing this works with some people not EVERYONE.

Well, she looses her temper even if i am nice to her, she doesnt do it directly to me hardly anymore because of the past, but she does it ALOT to my mum and other family members.

Well i guess let her come to you( unless its for money ) and talk to her, also sending anyone to a army cadet camp or anything that could crush your soul for like a week or 3 soughts a person out worked out with a friend it helps them see their not the only person that can do things.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Max=]

Well i guess let her come to you( unless its for money ) and talk to her, also sending anyone to a army cadet camp or anything that could crush your soul for like a week or 3 soughts a person out worked out with a friend it helps them see their not the only person that can do things.

---

I never mentioned anything about sending her to a boot camp, ect?
My mum is loosing it and thinks she should be put into care or be sent to a boot camp anyway, but i said i dont think that will go as well as planned, my sister is my sister, even i cant last long without her around.
She doesnt seem to mouth me off, at all lately, just my mum and other close relatives, which breaks my heart as i see how much it hurts them, and they've been through enough already.

I just dont know how to make her temper go down, her smoking reduced, and her weekends less ... well.. lessen a bit with the alcohol and 'stuff'.:( She has alot of other mental problems too, (Mental Health Problems), ie; Eating issues and selfharming behaviour as she has scars on her arms, she told me she does cut herself, and i know she has eating issues, but i dont know what to do about that as i dont know if its continuing..?

But, yeah, any advice on how i can help her or encourage her to face up to her problems and get help for some of them, or at least tell a professional what she does to herself and anything shes doing to herself now. :(

read ostinatos sticky that should help you with the self harm, and alcohol etc and trust me bootcamp / army cadets soughts you out.

Its often tough watching a family member go though such things. Just offer to listen to her or say you'll be ther if she needs anything, tell her your concerns about her heath&life. You cant do much more, she has to want to get better herself. If anyone forces her she more likely to do it for the wrong reasons and relapse.

Maybe encourage her to see someone and say you'll go if that helps and she can leave at anytime. Or go as a family to sort some issues out. There are many website that offer assistance to family members, and alot for teenagers and theres forums also. Just browse these and get some tips.

In the end its her life and her decision. Just be there for her.

Okay well, like someone said you can go to my guides I created which should be able to help on some of the issues you discussed.

http://www.habboxforum.com/showthread.php?t=231526

Basically, think this all started when she was younger obviously, and came about through peer pressure etc. However, the problem with that is one thing leads to another, as this case has demonstrated.

Now, it's good that you've realised a problem, but at the end of the day your sister really is the only one who can help herself.

However, I think you need to sit down with her one-to-one, and just explain to her her actions towards your family etc. and occasionly you, really upsets everyone. Tell her it's having no positive effect, and explain to her you don't understand why she feel's it's necessary for her to act as she does. Say to her that if she's facing some sort of problems, then there is help available for her etc. and things can be sorted.

You could perhaps try and arrange some form of councelling for her, which will allow her to speak to someone one-to-one on proffesional and confidential basis, and allow her to load anything off her chest.

No matter what though - don't give up on her, and keep reminding her that you love her anyway.