I'm soooo proud of my sister!

I'm sooooo proud of my sister because she got her very own short story published :) im so proud im gonna write it out here

Halomanora
Only last year i found out i was a witch. It began when i found a wand on the floor, i thought it was a toy, but it was real ... I kept going up to the libary to see what spells I could do, and that day I learnt a spell no one would dare use...

"Louise where are you going, not to the libary again?" asked my big sister Nadine.
"No, I'm going for a walk, see you."

I went up to the red rec, it was deserted, exept for a man wearing a cloak. I tried walking past him but he was blocking my path. I said, "Exscuse me" but he wouldent budge
"Louise Callaway, twelve years ago when you were a baby." he boomed
"I killed your father, he was horrid to me, took over my work ... I killed your mother as she tried to protect you and your sister ... and now im going to kill you!"

I thought quickly ... in the libary i'd learnt that spell. No, I couldent use it ... but it had to be done. 'HALOMANORA!' There was a blinding flash of green light from my wand and he fell down into a ball. I had killed the man who killed my parents. Nadine and I were safe forever

By Danielle Watts age 10 (btw she is ALOT older now well when i say alot about 3 years :P)

Please could u rate and i will show her later on and she has took a bit from harry potter as u can see but o well!

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Originally Posted by starbabe10

she has took a bit from harry potter as u can see but o well!

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A bit... And I thought "Midnight for Charley Boone" was a lot like Harry Potter.
Halomanora sounds alot like Alohomora, which was also a spell used in Harry Potter.

I really don't want to sound as negative. It's good, but - An orignal is always worth more than a copy.

wow thats pretty good for a ten year old, could do with a tad more description like the aisle was dim as one of the light bulbs were out, a large dark figure blocked my path...
get my point? im possitive about it anyway :)

em...that got published?:| Even for a 10 year old it is TINY i know 8 year olds who ihave 4 - 5 page storys!

It's ok But 10 years old :l , when I was 10 I made like 3 paged story and sold in the playground for 10p :D

Thats very good for a person of that age :)

Well there's quite a few spelling mistakes and it is just a bit short but it's still quite good though for a ten year old.

for a ten yr old 8/10
it did keep me gripped and hwat book was it published in??

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Originally Posted by Lincoln Imp!

Well there's quite a few spelling mistakes and it is just a bit short but it's still quite good though for a ten year old.

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I agree, its good but a bit short and needs more description :D