Im depressed, just read and please help.
I came to habbox forum, because it is the only source i know what my friends dont use or my family.
Nobody knows me the way I do, nobody knows the real me.
I am depressed, here are all my reasons. Somebody must be out there to answer everything on this Thread.
1. My appearance, I have to straighten my hair every morning, and spike it, or else i look like a complete nerd, and no girls will like me. When I do what I do, they do like me. But i'm wrecking my hair, and not appreciating who I really am.
2. I have to lie about alot of things, I lied about my first kiss (with tounges) I made up someone, well i didnt make up the person but this person was real just they didnt know her. They beleived me, but eventually saw my real first kiss thinking i had kissed a million times. I did this because I was scared of what people would think of me. I have to lie because I'm scared to loose friends, I have to lie about school results IE i said im getting moved up, im in the very low set for science and maths you see, i said im getting moved up, to make them think better of me, when actually im no were near getting moved up.
3. Money, my parents all of a sudden are broke, all i hear is about we cant afford this that and the other, we always used to dont give me the **** about ur lucky compared to other people in the world. Were talking about me! IE there is this this trip abroad its a long trip but i dont want to say how long incase magicly my friends come on this and see it, they really cant afford it, all my friends are going on it, and im stuck in liverpool the one who cant afford to go. I always have to feel ******* bad about asking for things of my parents because i know they cant afford it! They are always shopping in Netto and home&bargain (home and bargain is kinda cool though) but still there not doing it because its not a good bargain, but because they clearly cant afford anywhere else. I want alot of things all my other friends has, but i just cant get it! Im always working for my own money, cleaning other peoples cars and a paper round, im really tired of it im still just 13 years of age. We never go abroud coz we cant afford it, my friends ask why i have to lie and say because they only like wales etc, i dont want to lie! But i have to. To save who I am.
4. Im scared of what people think of me, Im kinda popular, but maybe a quarter of it is through lying of who I am.
5. I have this person who im a best friend of, i dont really like him, sometimes I do. But hes always critising me of things I do, always saying he never comes to my house, but its because hes too honest, racist and doesnt like anything I do! IE he is annoying me because hes always taking the **** out of my best mate, always saying i treat him differently to my best mate, and i have to lie about everything saying ur my best friend too! its torturing me.
6. My dad, my dad has artharitus everywhere and is diabetic. He can take me out places, but really i want to swim with him play football etc, but I cant because he will probably faint because of his illneses, hes always not well like headake stomach ake or back ake! I know he cant help it, but I want my old dad back I had when i was little when he was alright. Hes always bad tempered and always has to be right when hes not, he thinks things in the bad perspective which really ****** me of! Im getting annoyed literlly every god damn day!
7. Im too paranoid i cba saying everything I do but ill give an example, lets say I go on a forum and right this, im scared suddenly even if this is a foren website i found out of a million links, i will be paranoid they will find it out of the blue! that is just a start of what im like, i get paranoid over much more things.
8. Last and for all, School.
I wish i was really clever but im not, i hate school i dont know why, getting up i hate but thats not nessersary for this. I just hate it I really cant say why because I dont know!!!
I also was thinking of what id right in a suicide note today, now that is just bad and upsetting.
Please answer every bit of writing in here to help me.
