crapness.

i'll stop making these after this one, before i start to look like an attention seeking idiot.

but I feel myself feeling crappy every day for different reasons, not always to do with me, sometimes its to do with stuff that has happened to the world that hasn't even effected me, and sometimes it is to do with me, I don't know wth is wrong with me, I have a pretty good life, a lot better than others yet I still find myself down way too much than I should be.

is there anything I can do? :]

you know what, i'm going to state the obvious here, but i'm scared of death, it actually scares the hell out of me that I could go outside now and die, what would happen to me? How could I just die.. it makes me paranoid.

My life doesn't even seem "real" anymore since I left the UK, sometimes i'll find myself looking at something and saying to myself "omg, this is actually life.." I know its weird, but yeah.

try and get into a hobbie or summin.

I used to be quite scared of dying, but once you're pushed to the brink and thinking if you should commit suicide or not you aren't as much.
Well that's how it was for me.
I would always think that most people on the internet say stuff like they thought of commiting suicide as attention seekers that are lying but really, I'm not one. :P

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Originally Posted by Barkseh

try and get into a hobbie or summin.

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I have a lot of hobbies lol..

i feel the same, and im not sure how to get rid of it al

Well I think out of bad something good always comes. If I am feeling bad I go for a walk somewhere nice and just maybe not think for a while then I think of people that are a lot worse off than me such as children starving in Africa just an example. Then i do something to make someone else feel good or donate to a charity shop as an example. As far as dying goes. If you are not afraid to go to sleep you should not be afraid of dying because thats what you do go to sleep. Nothing more, nothing less and there will be no memory except for the people left behind just peace. Living in a new place must be very unsettling as well. Life is not meant to be easy all the time... I think that would make the world a very boring place.

Like I suggest the majroity of the time I'd talk to someone because bottling everything up really doesn't help. Also scared of dying? :S You don't need to worry about this at all your a young girl who should be enjoying life, not worrying "what if" all the time.

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Originally Posted by Catzsy

Well I think out of bad something good always comes. If I am feeling bad I go for a walk somewhere nice and just maybe not think for a while then I think of people that are a lot worse off than me such as children starving in Africa just an example. Then i do something to make someone else feel good or donate to a charity shop as an example. As far as dying goes. If you are not afraid to go to sleep you should not be afraid of dying because thats what you do go to sleep. Nothing more, nothing less and there will be no memory except for the people left behind just peace. Living in a new place must be very unsettling as well. Life is not meant to be easy all the time... I think that would make the world a very boring place.

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I do think before I go to bed.. idk, i'll try to stop.

I think I understand what you mean.
Are you having trouble adjusting to living in America?
I suppose it is a huge lifestyle change, everything that you've been to used to in the UK for X amount of years and then you move to a different culture, yeah it's ok saying America and Britain are pretty much the same, really they aren't and I suppose living there really shows that.
Being scared of dying is pretty normal. But you can't act upon these fears because then it starts to affect your life in quite a serious way.
The thing is Soph we are all going to die one day, and the chances of us dying when we leave the building today are extremely low.
When you die, you die, that's just life isn't it really.
Look at it as if you COULD easily die tomorrow, then you can cram aload of stuff into your life and enjoy yourself, and when you don't die you can do it all over again!

I hope you start getting over this soon!!!

stop watching the news