Broken Wishes - Song I wrote

Wanted to try something new out :)
Here it is.

Too fast, too short
crying from your retort,
nothings left of me, but you still stand
i'm waiting on someone to take my hand

[acoustic guitar slowly comes into play]

I can't feel anything, anymore
I can just fall down here to the floor
I can't feel you, anyone anymore!

[Chorus]

My Broken Wishes
kick me down,
they make me want to drown
Oh-oh-oh-oh all because of your jealousy
I can't live what I want to be!

[verse2]

Trying to get back, onto my feet
Hoping that we can never again meet
but no, I see you again, following me home
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST, LEAVE ME ALONE

[Chorus]
My Broken Wishes
kick me down,
they make me want to drown
Oh-oh-oh-oh all because of your jealousy
I can't live what I want to be!

My Broken Wishes
kick me down,
[Kick me down again!]
They make me want to drown!
[make me drown]
Oh-oh-oh-oh all because of your jealousy
[your jealousy...]
I CANT LIVE WHAT I WANT TO BE!
[WHAT I WANT TO BE!]

Here I go...
Packing my bags...
Leaving this town...
My head is up high...
Off I go to begin my new life!

[chorus]

My Broken Wishes
kick me down,
they make me want to drown
Oh-oh-oh-oh all because of your jealousy
I can't live what I want to be!

[repeat twice then fade out]

cool,
I like it.

You should upload it anyway..
+REP.

I'm not much a of a performer, just a writer. xD

Nice work. Should get it published. You earn a lot of money from song writing. :D

Nice work, I like it :D

That's a sick write up man, get some more of that done,
CD it up, send it to some record companys.
Could become a writeer?

Sorry to bump an old thread.

Thanks for the responses!
Here's a new one.

Too Many

(Slow Guitar strum)
My Shadow of grief...
Biting into me slowly, with gorged teeth,
My world is collapsing under my burdens,

(Drums kicks into rock with guitar)
Can't you see,
[Can't you see]
I Just want to be free
[Just be free]
My Life in shambles
[in shambles because of]
Because of you.

[Chorus]
Too many wishes
[With too many dreams]
Too many deals
[With too many seams]

My world is crashing down on me,
Can't you see.
[Just can't you see]

All because of my naivity
[Naivity go!]

[V2]

Hitting the ground around me.
There I fell. You can tell
I need your hand to help me up.
But no! You moved on, from me.
[From me]
Locking me away and throwing away the key!
[Throwing away, the key!]

[Chorus]

Too many wishes
[With too many dreams]
Too many deals
[with too many seams]

My world is crashing down on me,
Can't you see.
[Just can't you see]

All because of my naivity
[Naivity go!]

[V3]

Just pick me up,
Take me for a ride
[For a ride!]
Get me away,
Restore my pride!
[Restore my pride!]

[Chorus]
Too many wishes
[With too many dreams]
Too many deals
[with too many seams]

My world is crashing down on me,
Can't you see.
[Just can't you see]

Too Many Wishes,
Just too many wishes
Oh too many dreams

Too many deals,
Oh too many seams.[Listen to me!]
All I Need is your support,
I don't care with it's without a thought!
Just support my back, don't let me fall!
Be my awakening call!


Too many wishes
[With too many dreams]
Too many deals
[with too many seams]

(Repeat twice)

My world is crashing down on me,
Can't you see.
[Just can't you see]

(Fade out)