I’m the perfect woman and I’m always well made up
I never argue with you and never talk of love n’ stuff!
I always have a great big grin on my face
And taking time to romance me you never have to waste!
I am always up for lovin’ and I haven’t much else to do
I’m always waiting for a man and that man is always you!
You never take me to dinner and I really don’t mind
I am always here for you when you need to unwind.
I don’t cost you money and I do not whine when I get hurt
You never have to wonder if there are knickers under my skirt
I am willing I am ready I am here to make you happy
And I do not get those monthly things that can often lead to "snappy".
I’m slender I am gorgeous, I’m always ready and able
You can use me anywhere in your bedroom or kitchen table
For an ugly man like you, I am utterly fantastic
And I will never challenge you, because I’m made of plastic
