Vultures prey on surgery patients
This is probably not what you need to see just before going into surgery — vultures loitering outside the hospital window.
“I’ve had patients tell me, ‘Doc, it’s not very reassuring,’ ” joked John Kroner, a surgeon at Orthopaedic Hospital of Wisconsin.
Up to a half dozen turkey vultures are spending their days on ledges and windowsills of the three-story glass and brick building at 575 W. River Woods Parkway in Glendale, which is along Port Washington Road, south of Hampton Ave.
You’ll never see a TV commercial showing vultures circling a hospital. (“We help our patients to carry on, while our vultures help themselves to carrion.”)
But everyone here is getting a kick out of the visitors, which showed up about three weeks ago after ignoring the building the past 17 years. Pairs of birds have been given names by the staff, including Ricky and Lucy and Obama and McCain.
For the record, just about everybody gets out alive from an orthopedic hospital, so these buzzards are wasting their time. Then again, maybe you’ve seen the vulture on the poster saying, “Patience my (you-know-what). I’m gonna kill something.”
The birds are brownish with bald red heads and have a wingspan up to 6 feet. They favor the pre-op rooms on the third floor.
“He sat right there for like 20 minutes,” Carole Vaughner said, pointing to the window. The Milwaukee woman was about to undergo knee surgery, and here’s this buzzard keeping a hungry eye on her and pecking at the glass. But it didn’t worry her in the least.
“One lady was actually kind of upset about it. She thought it was a bad sign,” said nurse Cathy Burns.
Tatiana Ivanova, also a nurse at the hospital, said her husband didn’t believe they had vultures at the windows. She had to prove it to him with a photograph. A lot of the employees and patients have been taking pictures.
Even The Nurturing Nook day care that shares the building has been enjoying the vultures. As I listened to owner Therese Ciofani talk about how much fun it’s been for the kids, I couldn’t shake that Hitchcock image of birds multiplying on the playground equipment outside. But they never get that close to the ground, she assured me.
If you’re a vulture, Orthopaedic Hospital is conveniently located near the Milwaukee River and the roadkill-rich I-43 freeway. Plus, you have Solly’s across the street, and you know all those butter burgers are going to take someone down eventually.
The vultures possibly have a nest somewhere on the building, or they’re just using it to roost and rest, said Scott Diehl, wildlife manager for the Wisconsin Humane Society. They probably weren’t attracted by the hospital’s mirrored glass, but they’re intrigued by their reflections.
“It doesn’t surprise me that they’re hanging out in a human-made structure,” Diehl said.
Todd Heikkinen, director of physical therapy at Orthopaedic Hospital, said some have theorized that the recent flooding had something to do with the birds’ sudden occupancy of the building. Even the hospital’s chief executive officer, Brian Cramer, has been checking Wikipedia to learn more about these feathered guests.
Turkey vultures pose no danger to humans, though they have been known to engage in projectile regurgitation of semi-digested meat when threatened. That’s an experience you wouldn’t soon forget.
Come fall, these migratory birds will head south.
Meanwhile, this hospital will remain abuzz over buzzards. If you have a chance, get your carcass over there to take a look.
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