Gay story [The after]

[End of the beginning]

I handed a note to Kai, that I had written earlier that day. I lift the knife to my neck, and slice slowly, I can feel the blood falling to the floor.
My life has came to and end, but I’m watching him still, from up here. He unravels the note. I go all tense, what will he do?
‘This was you’re fault…’ I had written it in my own blood, just to remind him. My body lay beside him once more, but on the red floor, my feelings for him were so deep he could have dived in them, but he decided to **** them all up, then spit them out.
He kneels down and kisses my head.
‘Sorry’ He says, it means nothing to me. He finished me, took me away from the **** he had caused…

That was the final bit of the story btw.

Love dan
xxx

:o, that was really good :). +Rep when I can!
I think the ending may have been rushed, and it came out kind of sour. Don't know why Joe's brother was wearing lipgloss. As much as it is good, I said before, there were certain thing's that ruined it, you should expand upon it by adding alot more description and portray their surroundings more as some of it was confusing. The swearing was unessecary and some other thing's you explained too, this is amazing for 12 years old, I can see how writing must be a dream for you. I think if you were more experienced at writing, you could really make your stories fantastic as you seem to have such emotion.

Whoa, Thats amazing. Nicely done.

The whole story was perfection, as we were talking on msn, I almost cried..
I know i sound stupid, but it's true. 10/10 +rep.
Great story

Yes, you really did do a wonderful job.
Chapter 10 had the most emotion, it was my favourite.
[Rep]

Aww sorry, I have to spread some.
I won't forget though <3

was this part two? i feel as if i missed something...but i'm not sure. it ended too quickly i think, but it was still good. 9/10