Scared of staying single

I feel like I'm never gonna get a girlfriend. I'm looking for a relationship, not just a hook up or "I've got a girlfriend" kinda thing. I'm 16, and never had a girlfriend or a kiss (1st grade doesn't count :P). I go to a small private school and I'm just not interested in a lot of the girls there. A load of my friends go to this big public school in my area and most of the girls are ***** & are always taken if they aren't. Yes, I do care about looks, but not like freakin megan fox kind of girls... unless I had a chance haha. I used to not be social at all because I was homeschooled for 4-5 years. I'm working on it, and I'm still really quiet. I just can't think of anything to say when I'm around people unless I'm having an insanely good time and I can't talk in front of groups of like 5+ people because I hate being on the spot and it feels awkward. I don't think I'm a very good flirt either, and I don't know how to win a girl over with words. I just feel hopeless and lost right now :/ I've liked several girls before but was scared if they didn't like me. A couple of times the girl even liked me back but I guess I was just scared of a relationship. Any advice?

Maybe take it slow with someone you quite like. for example msn, then phone calls then face to face etc.. dont feel like you must have a gf because your friends have one. and anyway the person you said who quite liked you try things out with her maybe just take it slow like i said above. im sure it will come in time.
hope this helps x

The only way you'll ever maintain a good relationship is if you get out there and meet people. Sure, it isn't easy but you have to bite the bullet and do it. You sound like you're quite a shy lad, that doesn't have to hinder your relationships. There are millions of quiet people out there and there will definitely be someone for you, regardless of what you think at the moment. I suggest just get talking to a few girls, get their number/MSN - talk to them on facebook. You can still flirt through these things, it doesn't have to be face to face. Then you'll be more comfortable with them when you see them at school or at parties or whatever and then you can make a move :eusa_danc

you have to get out of the mindset that girls are some complex beings who have some sort of magic password that triggers their interest in you. just talk to them. show them that you like them (though don't go too far) and you'll be surprised what happens.

and i noticed a contradiction in your post, how can you be afraid of being single and be afraid of being in a relationship? thats like being afraid of being wet and dry.

you gotta' understand that girls get randy too

they got just as much needs as you do playa'

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Originally Posted by RedStratocas

you have to get out of the mindset that girls are some complex beings who have some sort of magic password that triggers their interest in you. just talk to them. show them that you like them (though don't go too far) and you'll be surprised what happens.

and i noticed a contradiction in your post, how can you be afraid of being single and be afraid of being in a relationship? thats like being afraid of being wet and dry.

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thanks. and it's like i don't want to always be single i want to find someone, but even if we like each other i'm scared to ask them out. idk why even though i know they would say yes.

Like most people said if you're shy you just have to put yourself out there and mix with girls at any chance possible.

I don't want to sound all boring but you're 16, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know it may be nice to have a bit of experience but you'll get it when the times right. Girls may respect more that you haven't gone round doing things here and there.

A relationship ain't as good as it's cracked up to be. I think they're over rated. If you want any experience with girls you're best just being single and taking the opportunites as they come. Have fun instead of getting tied down.

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Originally Posted by Immenseman

I suggest just get talking to a few girls, get their number/MSN - talk to them on facebook. You can still flirt through these things, it doesn't have to be face to face. Then you'll be more comfortable with them when you see them at school or at parties or whatever and then you can make a move :eusa_danc

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I think that makes things more awkward, 'cause although you may be a smooth talker over the computer, the anxiety and nerves when it comes to actually meeting the person and whether you act the same is a complete new thing. Just my opinion.

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Originally Posted by Toughened

Like most people said if you're shy you just have to put yourself out there and mix with girls at any chance possible.

I don't want to sound all boring but you're 16, you have your whole life ahead of you. I know it may be nice to have a bit of experience but you'll get it when the times right. Girls may respect more that you haven't gone round doing things here and there.

A relationship ain't as good as it's cracked up to be. I think they're over rated. If you want any experience with girls you're best just being single and taking the opportunites as they come. Have fun instead of getting tied down.


I think that makes things more awkward, 'cause although you may be a smooth talker over the computer, the anxiety and nerves when it comes to actually meeting the person and whether you act the same is a complete new thing. Just my opinion.

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i am somewhat shy. that last sentence is what i agree with. i can text girls and talk to them on myspace, facebook, etc., and be comfortable.. but it just makes it different when youre in person.

When i was a bit younger...( wow this makes me sound old ).... I found out the best way to find out what to talk about to most guys is to talk to one of your best guy friends..... etc..

So what i think you need to do is talk to one of your best girl who is a friend... and find out what she likes to talk about.. blah blah blah x].. and then move onto the girls who like you.. talk about the same things... they may or may not like that.... its just a start

idk if it helped... hope it did :)