A personal essay.
I was tasked last weekend to re-write my entire folio that I had written last year because of complications with the English department. If I didn't, I wouldn't get an English qualification for that year. I had to write five pieces including this personal one which I've decided to post. Sadly, I don't have MS word so it is C+P'ed from Wordpad. Enjoy.
Living with Crohns.
There is always a time in a persons life when something goes wrong. There is always a time where your life is turned upside down by unfortunate events. It may be that a love one has died or it could be that you have messed up on an exam. Nothing in life is perfect. I learned very early on in life that not everything runs as smooth as you would like and I learned that in the hardest way possible. I learned that I had an incurable disease.
Last year when I was aged fourteen I was like any other teenager. I was energetic and I thought, like many do, that the world revolved around me. I'd go out with friends on a daily basis and I would usually come home later than expected. I would ask for money regularly and spend on things that I did not need or even long for. That was me, the genuine teenager.
I lived with my mum, my sister and my grandad. I had a strong bond with my grandad and that bond only grew stronger once my mum told my dad to leave and find a new place to live. We were the best of friends and I enjoyed his company more than anything. Even more than going out with my own friends if I am honest. He was, to put it in an old fashioned term, my rock. I shared a strong relationship with every member of my family and with the news that my sister was pregnant I knew that I was going to welcome a new member into my life and for the first time, become an uncle. The feeling was of an overwhelming happiness.
I, along with all my other friends in mid 2008 were focused on exams. Preliminary examinations to be precise. I'd like to think that I was a good pupil. I had my strengths in computing, english and social subjects with my weaknesses in maths and science. School for most of us was a place where you could hang with friends and be taught what you wanted to listen to. I admit that my friend Chris and I were stupid to drop school for a whole week so that we could have what would be my first holiday abroad but I thought, I only live once.
I have never regretted anything more in my life upto now than travelling to Spain. It was not the fact that we lived in tents or the fact that the sun roasted the ground even at night but for the fact that when we touched back down in Britain, I was as sick as a dog.
I had returned home in September with a pain that I had never felt before. The pain was in my lower stomach and it felt as if a fire was burning away in my insides. It was a sickening, horrible feeling that I and the other members of my family thought would pass. No such luck. I decided not to visit the doctor and I tried my hardest to act like nothing was wrong with me. I tried to act as energetic as before and always wore a smile through the pain. Besides, I was not the only member of my family who was under the weather.
My grandad was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease and cancer of the throat. He had become pale and slim and gradually lost the feeling in one of his legs which in the end rendered him disabled. Nobody was more shocked than my grandad himself, not even me. He was always a man who was active. He liked to be constantly on the move always doing something. From cooking, which he was great at to D.I.Y, which he had a natural talent for, he always looked for something to do. Soon he was bedridden which only brought further devastation. He was in a fast decline and lost the ability to speak clearly. I felt helpless and could only wish and pray. It was on October fifth I lost my grandad, my friend, my rock. With this shock to the system I began to weaken.
The pains in my stomach intensified over the Christmas period. Christmas day brought me very little joy. My family and I had to experience a Christmas without my grandad. However, in November, my sister had given birth to a healthy, beautiful baby boy. My nephew Logan. I had never been so proud in my life but even the happiness that Logan brought couldn't fight against the uttert pain I was experiencing. My mum decided in January she had saw enough, it was time to go to the hospital for an examination into what was wrong. I dreaded the months that lay ahead.
For three months I waited. I had gone through numerous drawn-out tests and operations. For some reason the doctors could not find out what was causing me such pain. I felt only anger and frustration. These were those who studied for years on end at university and had passed several exams to get where they were today and in my mind they could not do what was asked of them. Useless, the lot of them!
The letter dropped through my door in April clarifiying that I, a fifteen year old boy who was once so animated indeed had Crohn's disease. I was stunned but also, in a strange way, alleviated. It had already been explained to me that Crohn's disease was incurable and that, for the rest of my life, I would be on medication. I would also feel exhausted and drowsy most of the time. Medication was nothing new to me. I had taken several tablets as a younger boy to control seizures that I suffered from with the difference being that epilepsy was curable, Crohn's disease was not.
I had missed four months of school and I was itching to return. I was a month into my medication and I was on the comeback trail. I had lost an incredible three stone in weight and I was shadow of my former self. My arms and legs had an extra layer of hair and my veins were more prominent than ever before. Sure, I was sluggish but, I was back.
I have learned now to appreciate life more. I have an incurable disease yes, but atleast I have everything I need and want. There are tonnes of people in the world who are worse off than I am and in a way I count myself very lucky. I am lucky in the way that I have a family who cares for me and loves me. I am lucky in the way that I can get out and about. I am lucky in the way that I can still do things for myself. I have some hurdles to cross yet but strangely I look forward to what the future holds.
