We Are The Lazy Generation!!!

29TH JULY 2005

After a morning spent feeding my snake Bishop, I turned on the radio, lay in my bed and looked up at the clear sunny sky. Then I realised someone had stolen my roof. This was not going to be a normal day. I had to find the culprit guilty of such an act, I had to act quickly and I had to act quickly. I turned off the radio and left the house. The house? What house? I had entered the perverse mind of Bishop. My quest to find the Roof Thief would have to wait. In the desert I was standing in, I noticed an old man. As I walked closer I noticed this man was naked. I turned and went the other way but, again, there was another naked man. And suddenly, lots of naked men started appearing. Bishop must of been gay.

DISCOVERY 1 out of 3 ----> Completed - Snakes are Gay.

Wow. A secret mission completed already. I re-enterd reality, only to hear that the world was under attack from pigs. I saw a pig charging towards me. I reacted quickly and chopped off its nose. Then, something strange, it had green blood with tiny little elves singing Happy Birthday. Then this 'music' got louder. Earthlings were winning the fight against pigs.

DISCOVERY 2 out of 3 ----> Completed - Evil pigs have green blood in which tiny little elves sing Happy Birthday.

WOW! What a day it had been. Gay Snakes, naked old men, evil pigs and singing elves. I was tired. I arrived at an Indian Take-Away.

::Can I have Chicken Tikka and my roof back please?

:Certainly Sir.

(I would later learn his name was Phillip)

He took me to a warehouse. What I saw shocked me. There were thousands of them. Perhaps millions. Millions upon Millions of CHILDREN. Children like me and you.

::: Did your roof vanish?

::Yes, it did.

:::Is your snake gay??

::Yes, he is.

::: Did you meet evil pigs with green blood and singing elves??

::YES. Yes I did.

:::Oh God!

::What?

::: YOU FORGOT TO TURN YOUR RADIO OFF!!!!!

It all made sense now. The entire day had made sense! As I entered the cage, night fell. What a stupid idiot.

DISCOVERY 3 out of 3 ----> Completed - We are the lazy generation!!!