Duke of Edinburgh Bronze HELP!

Ive started my letter, and so far this is all I have:
Dear Sir,
I am applying for a place on the Duke of Edinburgh course because in my eyes, I think I have the potential to carry out the 4 tasks needed to pass with no moaning or complaining. I am a hard working, well behaved student at *BEEP* and have never been in any trouble. I have attended after-curricular school clubs since starting in Year 7, and I think I have the right frame of mind to work hard and get involved and get a sense of enjoyment in doing the Duke of Edinburgh course.

My attendance is satisfactory (94.5%) meaning I will be fully dedicated to this award and will attend all meetings and sessions involved with the Duke of Edinburgh. I have never been late to school during my 3 years here at *BEEP*, and I am always wearing correct school uniform.

I feel that I should be part of this because I am a very enthusiastic person and I am organised, with time-management as one of my best skills. I am confident, and will be prepared to face whatever my task is. I am honest, strong, independent, punctual and loyal. I can get most things done in time and in a correct manner. I can be a very hard working team member and I am prepared to show this.

What else should I add/talk about in the letter? Deadline is Friday :/

'with no moaning or complaining' is something I would never put in a formal letter

everyone in the world ever puts that they're hard working well behaved at.

you should probably remove your school from it (assuming that's the name of your school)

after-curricular? i thought it was extra-curricular

'satisfactory' isn't something I would put in it if you're trying to sell yourself, they was excellent not someone who's doing 'ok'. I wouldn't put the figure in either tbh unless it was 99-100%.

talk to a teacher to see what they think.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by scottish

'with no moaning or complaining' is something I would never put in a formal letter

everyone in the world ever puts that they're hard working well behaved at.

you should probably remove your school from it (assuming that's the name of your school)

after-curricular? i thought it was extra-curricular

'satisfactory' isn't something I would put in it if you're trying to sell yourself, they was excellent not someone who's doing 'ok'. I wouldn't put the figure in either tbh unless it was 99-100%.

talk to a teacher to see what they think.

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awkward, can someone edit this please. Cheers for the feedback anyhow.