Danny's Sexuality story [PG rating]

So I have seen that people still get confused with me being Danny/Debs etc so I thought I would just get it all out here.

I was born as a female, female name is Deb/Debs/Debbie. For years I never felt comfortable in things like dresses or liked girls toys, always chose to play with Action Man or Power Ranger toys. I acted for Tomboyish all my childhood. I always preferred playing as male characters in all games that I'd play on the Sega, (Streets of Rage I'd play as Axel and Golden Axe I'd play as the green guy with the axe). I felt always more comfortable in a male role whatever I did.

When I first found Habbo, I did make a character that was female and called it Buffy, as I was a huge Buffy fan and had a heck of a crush on her. (Didn't understand sexuality much then, but was always attracted to girls more than guys). This lasted for a week if that and I left Habbo, then I came back with the name Oz874 and a male character. I felt more at ease to talk to people on that character and yes for a period, people did think I was a guy. After a few years of this continuing, I did come out to everyone with the truth that I am a female in real life and people referred to me as such, although I again didn't feel happy or comfortable being referred to as a female again. I came to Habbox and continued to have a male character but was truthful about my gender and name irl, still not feeling happy.

During all of this when I was 16, my irl friend knew about the "pretending to be a guy" thing and said that I was a lesbian, so I went to a youth group with him and felt more relaxed that people understood I liked girls, but still not so happy I was being called by my female name.

I again would like to say I always felt more comfortable as a guy but I have always been truthful about who I am since I came out to people on Habbo. A few years back at Habbox I asked people to start calling me Danny again. I know people thought this was for attention or whatnot, but I assure you it was true how I felt. I realised I was FTM (Female-to-Male) transgender and I really did look into all of this, in great depth.

For a start I'd like to point out I am quite small for a girl, 4ft 8 (UK measurement) or 148cms (US measurement), so was one thing I had to take into consideration should I wish to transition. I have explored in great detail with the help of my GP and groups whether transitioning would be for me. At this stage with how the current end results are, I don't believe I would be happy.

(Gory detail for those not into this stuff) One method to form a penis, they would have to take a great chunk of muscle from my forearm or thigh, which would leave a huge scar for months, even years. It's a great deal of pain to go through, which if the end results were better I wouldn't have an issue with. I've asked other peoples opinions of images of a penis that has been formed and every single one of them has said the end results just don't look close to what one would have expected. (I don't want miracles, but I'd like it to look somewhat like a penis.) There's also a lot of health risks involved with this. The second method to form something like a penis would be to give hormones to make the female clit become more like a penis, but isn't very big. I know size doesn't matter, or shouldn't matter, but again I don't feel this is something I'd be happy with either.

I have a working female body that does what it should and I have had to take into consideration all the risks and how huge this decision would be. For now, I have decided against transitioning. If in the future, I find that I'm happier with the end result I would most certainly take the risk. All of this hasn't been something I've taken lightly, I've thought a great deal with many times I've changed my mind about it all.

I hope this has given people some understanding of how I feel about things. Again I wish people to understand this isn't for attention.

Thank you for reading, sorry if some of these doesn't make sense or is a bit jumbled.