Not happy anywhere

You know what, I just don't seem happy anywhere or care about anything.

I moved away from my old place in Spain where I wasn't happy, to back home... where I wasn't "happy" either, and now I have just moved to Barcelona and I'm still not happy. The old me a few years ago would've spent hours walking the streets of a city like this, but I can barely be arsed going to work - although when in work I at least enjoy myself and always have in all my jobs, but more as in I forget about life/escape my mind when I am focused on my work. Everything just seems so much effort - from food shopping to cooking - and for what? It's all such a drag. And if you said to me what do I want as in goals, the truth is that I don't want anything. I would genuinely feel nonplussed if I never woke up in the morning.

I really wanted to get some zest back when I moved to Barcelona, but it just hasn't happened. I'm really at a loss.


Does anyone else relate to this? Felt like getting this off my chest.

Honestly, I can definitely relate to this.

I get in my moods where I'm either super happy, or feel exactly like what you described above. When I get like that, every single thing I do feels like work and nothing is enjoyable like it should be.

Especially lately too, like I just feel conflicted within myself, idk it's hard to explain without getting into too much detail, but it's been adding a lot of stress to my life and my thoughts and stuff, so yes that is whole bunches of fun.

Just know, you're not alone though, and I'm here if you ever need to chat <3

Yeah Dan I think we're going through some kind of depressive phase at a similar pace atm, you and me. I've had no energy for a few months now and don't even give a shit about having no energy. Been spending about 12 hours a day in bed as I get into bed when I get home from work and just kinda stay here... It's my happy place where I feel safe but I'm aware spending all this time in bed isn't a good sign.

I'm still doing stuff and living a normal looking life but my diet has gone to shit and I've gained a load of weight cause I can't be arsed to good nicely like I used to. Something happened to me earlier this year that means I've been really struggling with being alone with my own thoughts at ANY time so while I used to exercise on the reg and get out for walks maybe 3-4 times a week, I now can't stand all the silence in my head if I go out for walks/bike rides/swims. So that all just went out the window.

And yeah I can still go out for parties and have a good time and appear normal or whatever but it really feels like an act the whole time. And it takes such a monumental amount of energy that once the night is over and I'm back home in bed I wonder how ppl don't see me being fake.

That said, I have nice, peaceful moments too and moments where I'm more cheerful. They just seem fewer and further between. I'd like them back but I don't really know how to reach them - it feels like all I can do for the moment is work out how to keep surviving; improving myself or my situation just seems utterly out of the question at the moment. I hope time will work its magic and I'll slowly work my way out of this slump if I keep looking after myself and doing what I can, but I do get scared that this is just going to be it from now on.

Wish I could offer some magical words of wisdom and wish I could apply them to myself too tbh but here we are. Here's to hoping things get better eh?

Sorry to hear that you're all going through a challenging time right now!

It seems to me that what you need in your life is a purpose. A reason to get out of bed in the morning. You say your job provides a distraction but I would say that your job gives you a purpose even if only for those working hours and when it's gone, your purpose is gone. It's not so much a distraction as it is the key! I would recommend finding a hobby. You mentioned gardening before and I think that's a good idea because it gives you something to care about and goals to achieve but perhaps you could also find a hobby that involves some form of socialising as well so that you can step outside your own head.

Seems like you're at a low point in your life going through the motions but I hope you manage to claw your way out of the dark. You don't have to stay there. :)

Hey Dan, long time no speak. I am sad to hear you’re going through some tough times so I’ll provide you with my experiences and what I did, which may or may not help you out but maybe you’ll draw similarities and think the same?

I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become fully in control of the direction in which you take life which is weird because the previous 20-25 years I was directed through a societal system, that gave me purpose and made it easy to make friends, meet people and so forth. If I take my life at its most basic level now, my purpose is to work to earn money, to pay bills with said money and to maintain a place to live… rinse and repeat per month… but I’m the writer of my own story, which is also scary cuz one bad job change or location change and you have nobody to help you with like a university or college system yknow?

Now when we move around the country (or countries in your case), all that structure you’ve been given in the past has to be built by you and that’s really damn hard to do!! You can rely on work mates somewhat but having that connection to work all the time is kinda negative too, you need a disconnect from personal Dan and work Dan!

So if you do make a start on trying to build up things to do, like volunteering nearby or going to the gym (essentially do things you’ll meet people at and talk to), you start finding you have more plans and more things to do… Life doesn’t feel so empty that way.

That’s the best advice I can give you off what I’ve found when in your situation, but honestly the only person who can make that change is yourself and the sooner you take action, the sooner things will change for the better. :)

Take care mate

A little late to this. But I'm not sure happiness is a place, or even can be a place. It's where people you love the most are. I could be in my favourite place ever, it'll suit me for a while yeah, I'll love it. But there will come a time where that's no longer enough and I'll want my friends and family around me again.

Though I get it, doing things is often effort, but just remember this one thing if you're ever finding yourself unable to find any motivation to do things.. anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Might sound stupid but it's helped me a lot over the years, but brushing your teeth for 30 seconds is better than not brushing them at all when those recommended 2 minutes seem exhausting. Doing 10 minutes of exercise is better than 10 minutes of sitting when that 30 minutes of cardio sounds impossible. Changing your clothes is good when a shower is impossible. Standing in the garden for a few minutes is worth it after being in the house for 3 days straight because you dont have the energy to go anywhere. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly because doing it poorly is better than not doing it at all.

Not to be melodramatic or anything but, to me, the stereotypical idea of joy is almost always a false promise; it's like when you reach one of those "ops, now you're breathing manually",sort of, and you realize that the more self-conscious about your own subpar supply of dopamine, the less you're capable of feeling anything, like, because now you're perceiving everything in your life thru more concrete and dimensional lens instead of like the extra spice of life that comes from a happy mind and fuels actions and the idea that we're more capable than the little voices in our head incessantly tell us, kind of, when like you're too involved in actual feelings to even be realistic, like, even though being happy also means being real, like,


We'll make through this! :')

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LUCPIX

Not to be melodramatic or anything but, to me, the stereotypical idea of joy is almost always a false promise; it's like when you reach one of those "ops, now you're breathing manually",sort of, and you realize that the more self-conscious about your own subpar supply of dopamine, the less you're capable of feeling anything, like, because now you're perceiving everything in your life thru more concrete and dimensional lens instead of like the extra spice of life that comes from a happy mind and fuels actions and the idea that we're more capable than the little voices in our head incessantly tell us, kind of, when like you're too involved in actual feelings to even be realistic, like, even though being happy also means being real, like,


We'll make through this! :')

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Jesus Lucas, hard to believe you're not English. This is written superbly, and I couldn't agree more with it!

Thanks for the comments guys.

I'm on the mend the last few weeks since posting this, and slowly getting my energy levels up by walking up stairs instead of escalators etc.

Glad to hear you're doing better, Dan! It's always slow progress getting back to where you were, but I'm glad to hear it's getting a bit better since this post <3