COMING OUT - ADVICE THREAD.
HEY YOU!
If you are feeling confused, or unsure, need help or advice, or want an opinion on something, then this is the place for you. Many Gay Youth share a lot of common problems and feelings.
The information given by me is not necessarily to be acted upon and I accept no responsibility for anything arising from our letters. If you are in need of serious advice, always refer to official and proper counseling and support channels.
Do you think you might be gay or bisexual? For some people coming out can be straightforward, but for many it can be a confusing and stressful process. Gay and bisexual men often feel scared about coming out.
You may feel fine about coming out or you may be worried.
However you feel, we hope that you find the information in this site useful. It is intended as a starting point and will hopefully lead you on to contacting others who can support you. Advice from people who have gone through similar experiences can make the whole process of coming out much easier for you.
There are many gay and bisexual men: some of them are famous and some are not. You do not have to try to be like any of them. There is no one correct way to be. Everyone is different, no matter who they fancy.
You are not alone. Whatever your situation, there are many organizations that can help you with your concerns and questions about coming out.
Why come out to others?
Being attracted to another man, or being gay or bisexual, is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, if you feel very strongly about something you may want to share this with others. For example, you may have a crush on a boy and desperately want to be able to tell someone you trust. Or, you may have a new boyfriend you want to introduce to people you care about.
Remember that bottling up a secret can be very difficult. You may end up having to tell more and more lies to cover up your feelings. If you don't tell people who are close to you about your feelings, you may be cutting them off from a very important part of your life. This can make your relationships with other people very difficult just when you may need support. You may also decide that coming out may not make your relationships easier. It is up to you to decide what you want to share with other people.
Do I have to come out as gay or bisexual?
Your desires, fantasies and feelings are your own. It is up to you whether you want to share them with other people or not. It is also up to you to decide if you want to call yourself gay or bisexual.
f I decide to come out, who should I tell?
It's probably best to start with someone who you think will be more open and positive. Are you prepared for a bad reaction? Are you prepared for a good reaction? Talking it through first with a support worker or a telephone helpline might be helpful.
Should I come out in stages or all in one go?
This depends on you and how much support you have. Some people want to tell everyone at once and get it over with. Others come out over a number of years. Some people decide to tell only one or two others. Who you talk to is up to you. You may tell a close friend first or a member of your family. Remember to prepare yourself for different reactions. You are only being honest and telling someone about your feelings.
GOOD LUCK AND BE BRAVE!
