Do you care if your kids are gay?

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

It is not the norm though. No matter how many anti-bullying programmes the government introduces nothing will/would change. Bullying will be here forever, it just takes time for different social attitudes to change regarding different things.


I think they would understand pretty well to a degree, 'mummy and daddy went away' and so forth whereas the whole gay issue is a different bag of fish.

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Yeah, but it's people like you that stop social attitudes from changing. How is a social attitude towards gay adoption going to change at all when there isn't any catalyst for it? or any reason for a change. you can't expect people to change their views on something that doesn't happen at all.

how is it any different? if kids can understand that people die, surely it isn't out of this world to think that kids can understand that men and men can be together and so can men and women. it's not like kids have any sort of knowledge of sex or any real grasp of relationships at any age under about 10 anyway. if kids are taught that it is normal, though not the most common, type of relationship, surely they'd begin to understand. kids as young as 5/6 understand about different races, i know on work experience where the kids were talking about how their "mummy and daddy lived in nepal/india/china" etc.

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

It is not the norm though. No matter how many anti-bullying programmes the government introduces nothing will/would change. Bullying will be here forever, it just takes time for different social attitudes to change regarding different things.

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Yeah, and if we're not going to things that would otherwise be extraordinarily beneficial due to the chance of bullying, than it's no wonder nothing will ever change?

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

I think they would understand pretty well to a degree, 'mummy and daddy went away' and so forth whereas the whole gay issue is a different bag of fish.

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They wouldn't have parents to talk to about it, they would be extraordinarily lonely, they wouldn't have as strong of an adult rolemodel, less motivational influence, less possessions, less opportunity due to financial limitations. Yeah, leaving them in that orphanage definitely seems more logical over actually resolving all of those issues and putting up with the occasional moron saying something cruel, which will probably happen anyway.

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

I haven't denied that they might have a better homelife and loving family by being adopted, i'm simply pointing out the fact that the kids would get grief from the whole thing. You say you cannot baby these kids and you are correct, however I dont think you have any right to put them in harms way either. The last part, its not as simple as that - some kids dont even tell anyone whats happening with them at school not to mention cramped schools/limited choice in areas.

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But you're saying the bullying is more important than family and a much better upbringing and homelife. You know kids in school for 10 years, you know your parents your entire life. Once they're adults nobody is going to care about their parents anyway.

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

I haven't either, so I have no idea where you got that from.

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Because you were, in my opinion, over-exaggerating how it's putting the welfare and wellbeing of the child at risk.

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

The fact is that kids who have gay parents I would with confidence suggest that they are far more likely to be bullied than a kid who is fat or who is poor.

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But a kid who isn't very pretty or nice looking, or is homosexual him/herself would still be bullied, should we not adopt them?

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

It is not the norm though. No matter how many anti-bullying programmes the government introduces nothing will/would change. Bullying will be here forever, it just takes time for different social attitudes to change regarding different things.

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But it can become socially acceptable? Yeah things will never be perfect but it will get to a point kids feel comfortable seeing another kid and their gay parents and they wont feel the need to cause a fuss. The only way it will get to this point is by accepting it ourselves and then it will rub off on younger generations. Time will not do anything unless peoples attitudes start changing and if you are against it now then why in 50 years are you going to be any more for it unless you have some midlife epiphany. I really don't see what there is to be against. The only argument I see is the kid getting bullied and the only way around that is to start that is by tackling with these bullies and accepting it ourselves. Which is what I've been saying.

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Originally Posted by alexxxxx

Yeah, but it's people like you that stop social attitudes from changing. How is a social attitude towards gay adoption going to change at all when there isn't any catalyst for it? or any reason for a change. you can't expect people to change their views on something that doesn't happen at all.

how is it any different? if kids can understand that people die, surely it isn't out of this world to think that kids can understand that men and men can be together and so can men and women. it's not like kids have any sort of knowledge of sex or any real grasp of relationships at any age under about 10 anyway. if kids are taught that it is normal, though not the most common, type of relationship, surely they'd begin to understand. kids as young as 5/6 understand about different races, i know on work experience where the kids were talking about how their "mummy and daddy lived in nepal/india/china" etc.

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I'm not against gay adoption because its gay people adopting, i'm against it because I think the welfare of the child is potentially and very likely being harmed. Therefore its not people 'like me' who are stopping attitudes changing. Onto the second part;- kids will take notice from others rather than what one lesson in school says. I'm afraid its not a problem which can be solved overnight/in lessons as you can just look at sex education for that example which has failed dismally.

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Originally Posted by HotelUser

Yeah, and if we're not going to things that would otherwise be extraordinarily beneficial due to the chance of bullying, than it's no wonder nothing will ever change?

They wouldn't have parents to talk to about it, they would be extraordinarily lonely, they wouldn't have as strong of an adult rolemodel, less motivational influence, less possessions, less opportunity due to financial limitations. Yeah, leaving them in that orphanage definitely seems more logical over actually resolving all of those issues and putting up with the occasional moron saying something cruel, which will probably happen anyway.

But you're saying the bullying is more important than family and a much better upbringing and homelife. You know kids in school for 10 years, you know your parents your entire life. Once they're adults nobody is going to care about their parents anyway.

Because you were, in my opinion, over-exaggerating how it's putting the welfare and wellbeing of the child at risk.

But a kid who isn't very pretty or nice looking, or is homosexual him/herself would still be bullied, should we not adopt them?

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The fact is that it wouldnt 'happen anyway' because they wouldnt have gay parents, so thus wouldnt be put into that situation. As for bullying, yes because thats a very serious issue as kids can be very very cruel to eachother. You have to weigh it up, and I think overall its not worth the risk to the child and their welfare.

You say you know kids for 10 years, well yes but the fact is 10 years is a long time to have to put up with constant stick from fellow pupils do you not agree? - on the kid themselves, no because you are not putting that child in harms way by adopting them, whereas you are if you are a gay couple/parent adopting a child. I wouldn't adopt at the moment, i'd like kids one day but if it isnt the right climate in my eyes then I would not do that to a child.

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

The fact is that kids who have gay parents I would with confidence suggest that they are far more likely to be bullied than a kid who is fat or who is poor.

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No chance, did you not read what I put?

i dont see how you can be against gay adoption due to issues about children being bullied because of it when the only way around that is by them accepting it so its a bit hypocritical when you dont even accept it yourself.

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

The fact is that it wouldnt 'happen anyway' because they wouldnt have gay parents, so thus wouldnt be put into that situation. As for bullying, yes because thats a very serious issue as kids can be very very cruel to eachother. You have to weigh it up, and I think overall its not worth the risk to the child and their welfare.

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I believe gay adoption would not obstruct the child's well being sufficiently enough to disallow gay adoption altogether.

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Originally Posted by -:Undertaker:-

You say you know kids for 10 years, well yes but the fact is 10 years is a long time to have to put up with constant stick from fellow pupils do you not agree? - on the kid themselves, no because you are not putting that child in harms way by adopting them, whereas you are if you are a gay couple/parent adopting a child. I wouldn't adopt at the moment, i'd like kids one day but if it isnt the right climate in my eyes then I would not do that to a child.

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It's extremely safe to say that most people would willingly put up with that for the simple reason that they love their parents.

I wouldnt mind aslong as I have a straight one aswell and they werent the sort of show off drama-queen gay

Well, really, its all personal opinion. I was raised in a straight family and had no conflicts with being gay/lesbian. I would rather my kid be straight. But thats just the way I have been raised. I have no problem with gays and lesbians though. We are all equal.

Im absolutely amazed by the amount of disgusting stigma on this forum towards homosexuality. I thought this generation was supposed to be conforming to practical ideas of what gay actually is and why it shouldnt be ridiculed my small minded bigots. "its not natural" - wow what a small minded, ignorant attitude

Of course id be taken aback if my son/daughter said they were gay, but Id rather they love someone than be cold and alone. At the same time id know that it was nothing to do with my parenting as sexuality is learned and equally discarded on an individual basis. I can't make my offspring be straight, and I can't make them be gay for that matter.

Id also ask the question if your brother/sister turned out gay how would you want you parents to react to it, and at the same time how would that effect your perception of them. If they alienated and disowned your sibling for their sexuality I'm sure some of the frankly stupid opinions on here would quickly change.