What did one ear wig say to the other ear wig while falling of a tree?
Ear-wig-o, Ear-wig-o, Ear-wig-o
(Here we go) (Here we go) (Here we go)
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What did one ear wig say to the other ear wig while falling of a tree?
Ear-wig-o, Ear-wig-o, Ear-wig-o
(Here we go) (Here we go) (Here we go)
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, "Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?"
And the man says, "Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off."
Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.
He called the man's wife and said, "I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?"
And she says, "That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!"
Also i have some other funny jokes but it is not part of the comp it is just to make you laugh!!=]
Doctor: Well, I have good news and bad news.
Patient: Go with the good news first.
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What?! How about the bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to call you yesterday.
A married couple went to he hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labour pain to the father.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer dial to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain.
She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was lying dead on their porch.
A Events Person hosts an event and someone walks in saying " Hey! You, this event is for real! " the event person was like " WOAH! Slow down dude It is offical and will start at christmas." so the Random person says " OKAY! I will slow down... AND Wait for christmas." the events guy just stood there, waiting untill the random guy finished his slow walk to the seats...
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a catalogue. :D
What Do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
Flat Minor.
x]
There were 3 couples in a restaurant
The one man said to his wife; pass me the sugar, Sugar
The second goes; Pass me the honey, Honey
And the third man says; Pass me the milk you cow
xD
What is the difference between a water bottle and puberty?
Justin bieber has been hit by a water bottle.
A teenager who lives with her grandma can't find her drugs, so she goes to her grandma and asks
"Grandma, have you seen my pills labled LSD"
"F**K YOUR PILLS, HAVE YOU SEEN THE DRAGONS IN THE KITCHEN????"
I had to cut down the swearing but I still think it's funny.
:dance::D
What did was six afraid of seven?
Cause seven eight nine. ;]
hahaha an oldie but a goodie :)
Two snowmans said to another snowman, do you smell carrots?