Confidence.

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Originally Posted by Casanova

the best way to gain confidence is actually to fake it. If you actively change your body language and your thoughts to positive it reinforces your actions and does make you more confident.

Simple stuff like walking with your head up straight, your hands swinging at your side inclining in towards your front. Looking people in the eye whilst talking, then a small look away.

Looking in the mirror and thinking smile. smile. you'll laugh! then you'll be happy, smiling and feel silly for the mirror thing. but you'll then have a smile and feel at ease.

Change your mindset, alter your movement and you'll get there.

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Agreed a bajillion percent. Also actively putting yourself in uncomfortable situations eventually makes you comfortable in them. Sure it's horrible at first, but you get used to it.

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Originally Posted by The Don

Force yourself to do these things and eventually you will get use to it.

If not, drinking helps.

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Yes and no, it might be a temporary solution, but people tend to use it as a crutch and dependent on it. Dont really want that now do ya :p

I was you.. until i got my job.
My job is completley customer focused.
I have to answer the phone, i have to deal with complaints face to face.
I have to deal with very difficult people who couldn't give a dam about how hard they are making it for me to do my job... ooh and ****** colluegues.

If a telemarketer phones up me... they probs regret it. xD

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Originally Posted by brightdove

I was you.. until i got my job.
My job is completley customer focused.
I have to answer the phone, i have to deal with complaints face to face.
I have to deal with very difficult people who couldn't give a dam about how hard they are making it for me to do my job... ooh and ****** colluegues.

If a telemarketer phones up me... they probs regret it. xD

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but he's asking for constructive ways to increase his confidence, not what your job has done for you?

Correct, but thats my constructive way for him.
Get a customer focus job....?

Start messing with telemarketers, Just say Maybe to every question they ask. It'll soon make the experience enjoyable :D

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Originally Posted by PaulMacC

I lack confidence, in every sense. Like sometimes I wont even pick up the house phone because I'm too afraid to tell a telemarketer to **** off. Yeah it's pathetic but how do I gain confidence?

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Probably the thing to do is to perceive the worst probable outcome of a situation, such as with a telemarketer the worst possible thing that could happen is they ring you back or tell you to **** off back. The main thing to do though is to force yourself to do these things gradually and you'll eventually find that nothing significant happens. Alternatively whenever it's a telemarketer speak with a strong Indian accent (Might be difficult for you) and reminisce with the guy about "back home".

i agree with faking it and forcing yourself to do things, when you're unconfident you give out all the wrong body language. no-one wants to talk to the closed off guy who doesn't look like he wants to talk, you have to make the effort. chippiewill is right, you have to think "what's the worst that can happen?" in every situation and if something goes wrong at least you can say you tried. if a telemarketer calls you, you can easily hang up... put yourself in to situations where you usually lack confidence instead of waiting for it to come to you. there's really no point people telling you what to do, you have to do it for yourself. nothing bad will happen if you just try, its not the end of the world and opens up a lot of opportunities.

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Originally Posted by wixard

matt how does bar work help your confidence
cos i've always had great confidence and bar work just pissed me off
and made me hate people

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Basically what RyRy (is that Pyroka?) said. It forces him to talk to people one on one. Although he shouldn't apply for nightclub work just yet, opt for a pub. Tara were you one of those shots girls like they have in Newcastle, you know, you wear those lil diddy pants and the tight tops going "£1 for a shot guys?". That would so be you.

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Originally Posted by RyRy

Probably because it's your job to talk to people, and when you get friendly with people you tend to feel more confident in yourself because you've made friends. Gonna sound cheesy Paul, but best way to do it is to be yourself, be outgoing & just try and not be a total muppet? :P

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Are you Pyroka.

---------- Post added 26-08-2011 at 04:52 PM ----------

Oh and wear nice clothes and look nice!! Seriously, even if it's just a lil tan and nice hair and nice clothes you'll feel better.

Dress Sharp! Like Spuds said :P

When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people.