Originally Posted by
Bolt660
Yeah have always been bullied in some shape or form really, and kind of just got used to it. Bullied through primary school for being 'quiet and different', didn't really have any friends like everyone else so I guess people just thought that was something fun to bully someone about haha. Used to stay in at breaktimes and stuff because I would end up just wondering round the playground by myself, whenever I tried to join in or talk to anyone I would just get laughed at. :P
High school was pretty much the same but I had got used to my own company by then, so often worked on group projects by myself etc. P.E used to be awful, I hated P.E so much, I was rubbish at most things, hated running, people would laugh etc, usual name calling/tripping over etc. Used to walk down the corridor wondering whether the person coming the other direction would trip me over or not so quite often stood still when someone walked past me just in case. Got pushed around quite a bit really, but just got on with it. Got bullied about my weight quite a bit too, as well as my voice, I would say even now my voice gets me bullied quite a bit at work and stuff, even customers like to have a laugh :P
I would never bully someone, just wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing I had made anyone miserable or unhappy. I used to skip school a little during high school, purely because it didn't seem worth it. I was getting good grades, always did well in tests and in class, but as soon as other people were thrown in it was living hell. I used to like Art a lot at high school and did it for GCSE, unfortunately most of the rest of the class were the rebels who thought art was an easy option to take and they could just doss around, they would quite often 'accidently' spill a glass of water over my work etc. Things like that just stick in your mind. That group also sent me a valentines day card through the post, then had so much fun the next day laughing about it saying how its the only one I will ever have etc. :P I guess in some respects you just laugh along with them- but some of the things they say can hurt quite badly at the time really.
After getting good GCSE results (A's and B's and a couple of C's), I went to college thinking it would all be completely different, that I would make friends, feel included and not get picked on so much. It wasn't the case, and from the bus journey to just hanging around in the libarary, it was all the same, people laughing, making comments etc. Anyway, that, along with the distance I had to travel to college (an hour to get there), was just too much for me and I decided it wasn't worth going through it for another 2 years, so decided I would drop all the hopes I had of becoming a teacher, going on to uni etc (which I really wanted to do), and 'chickened' out I guess and got a job and got myself a car and stuff. In some respects it paid off, since I do speak to people at work and there are a lot of nice people (and I get to hide away in an office/bakery most the day), but I guess primary and high school did impact on me a lot really, made me even more of a shy and self conscious person, made me be quite independant and used to working on my own and stuff, and generally it just knocked my confidence a lot- I didn't understand why I was so different and why others had it so easy and stuff.
These days things are a lot better, I do feel more confident some of the time, particularly last year when I did things I would never dream of doing, and for the first time in my life was able to talk to someone I consider a good friend, and it was so nice just to not be judged for once, not to be so different from everyone else. Yes- I still get the odd occasion at work where people will make comments which might get to me, but its nowhere near on the scale that it was during school. So yeah, for once the future is looking okay :)
