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i know what you're saying empired but i've already got over most of my social anxiety. i find it effortless to start conversation, make small talk etc and you probably wouldn't know i ever had social anxiety by talking to me now BUT... that's fine if it's a one to one. i haven't mastered talking in a group, giving your input when everyone is looking at you, even if it's only 2 people cause i think they all like each other better than they like me. so i don't know the solution other than to accept myself but that's easier said than done. i guess it's sort of a viscous cycle; i want people to accept me so i can accept myself but because i don't accept myself i'll never believe that anyone can accept me. i hope that i AM the problem because that means i can change it.
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~Seeing long paragraphs~ Me being always the outcast of the group is just hard. It sucks being lonely, but I see it this way. If your "friends" are talking bad about you or just a negative stop hanging around them. I would rather be around people at the moment and never speak to them again after, because when you are alone for a year or 2 (this is from my personal experience) you just start getting depressed and it's not a good place to be at. Being in a group of fake friends who don't connect with you that much is better than having a group of friends who tell you how horrible it is to be around you since you don't speak much.
~I prefer to have 1 or two than no one at all since I know I will just go back into my depressed state~
