Times like this when you say grow some balls. Seriously, if they're living in a first world country and decide to damage their own bodies? It's just terribly ungrateful.Quote:
Originally Posted by :Cerys
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Times like this when you say grow some balls. Seriously, if they're living in a first world country and decide to damage their own bodies? It's just terribly ungrateful.Quote:
Originally Posted by :Cerys
It's their choice. whether you think it's a good choice or not it's still terribly rude to call them idiots for it..Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
Sure thats your opinion, and yes harming your own body is a shame, and people who havent done it may not understand and think its weird, but once youve done it, you realise how much it helps emotionally and keeps you standing a lil bit, but.. it can ruin you physically. most cases it gets so much worse.
Ok I'm not getting into a full blown debate. But don't use the whole "youre in a first world country so your problems dont have any good grounding" stance because it is a terrible argument and assumes that because someone is in a better country they can't have any bad problems.
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Originally Posted by Intersocial
Agreed everyone has problems wether it be lifestyle, family, or depression etc :(
I never have and never could; it seems a little physically disgusting to me
I understand people who have escaped that kind of life might feel comfortable talking about it, but I do sometimes see people who explain that they've recently harmed themselves and are likely to do so again: I don't understand how you can be so open about damaging your body when you're still going through it. To me, that kind of thing looks like their reason for self-cutting is a little fake and attention-seek-esque
If you live in a good country you have everything handed to you on a plate, whether you spill some of the food on your shirt it can always be washed off and replaced because you have that power in a first world country. I have worse family problems than a lot of people, but I don't cut myself for it. It's totally ungrateful for the life you have, you only live once, don't ruin it by harming yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Intersocial
Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
But alot of people cope with alot of different things in different ways, and everyone has ALOT of differant problems from everyone else. just because we have everything handed to us in a first world country doesnt mean we cannot have our own problems, we do not get served happiness for everything because you have the normal situations like death in the family, heart break depression overthinking alot ectetc
No one can ever compare their own happiness with someone else's. That's like trying to compare how many donkeys are in the world with how many people lie on a daily basis. You can't do it because they're just not two things you can compare. Everyone reacts to and copes with stress differently. This isn't because they're weak or strong or stupid or smart, it's because nobody is the same.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
I can see that I can't convince you that these people aren't 'ungrateful', 'idiotic', or anything else along those lines. But that also means you can't change our views either. So please don't try.
It's laughable when people use that phrase in an argument. There are so many people who have said the exact same thing on this forum and I am so tired of repeating my posts everywhere sighQuote:
Originally Posted by oli
SO, you are trying to say that a person has no right to be unhappy with his life, I should be happy and satisfied because I have facilities and other people, let's say in Africa don't...This is an unbelievable, shallow and narrow minded approach because by overshadowing my problems with the problems people in Africa are facing, does not make me happy, nor does it improve the situation of theirs. I do not support self harm, nor do I know what people go through when they self harm, but one thing I do know is that being a jerk about it and telling people that they are being ungrateful to their life is really, really pathetic. Some people's lives are not so great you know, and regardless even if they are not happy with their lives, **** up, none of your business.
Apparently living in a first world country does not open one's mind.
If they post it on a public forums they make it everyone's business thank you very much.Quote:
Originally Posted by karter
If people in for example Africa are happy without all of the pleasures that we get living in a first world country, then they are just being ungrateful. Genuinely ungrateful, you would damage the body you're given to live in because life puts you down, sulking in a corner cutting your arms isn't going to solve anything. Once again I say grow some balls and try and change your life instead of doing something stupid and endangering your life.
Brb telling 13 year old children who have experienced abusive bullying from people in and out of school, physical abuse from their parents and have emotional issues (possibly mental illness) to grow a pair and get over it because they SHOULD KNOW HOW TO COPE WIRH IT AND NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT PROBLEMS PURELY DUE TO A GEOGRAPHICAL FACTOR.
If your shirt gets dirty you can replace it. THERE ARE PEOPLE YOU CAN CALL. IF YOU DON'T TRY TO SOLVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS DON'T EXPECT THEM TO BE SOLVED.Quote:
Originally Posted by Intersocial
Being lectured by a teenager online isn't going to help them either. You are just...unbelievable. Stop being sad.. that's the best advice you can give? That's like going to someone with a broken leg and saying "Start walking". Having the best facilities with you does not ensure happiness, no one in the world is happy (if you claim you are happy then good for you I guess)Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
What a lovely job of solving people's problems right? Insulting and humiliating them, telling them they are ungrateful and idiots, literally doing the opposite of what you should do. I hope you know that genuine cases of self harm are caused by mental disorders and are not so easy to cure as you think
Ever thought about the fact people might be too nervous to contact someone? Self-harming is a coping mechanism. Some people who do self harm have trouble with expressing their stress/anger in forms (such as talking). Yes OK you can get help, but it's scary for many. It's not an easy topic to talk to face to face either.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
I am sure a 13 year old who feels victimised by everyone at school and in public. Plus their own family, would find it incredibly easy to acquire the courage to confide in a stranger about their issues. i see no fault with that assumption at all.
It's scarier to cut yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Detective
Depends on the person. Some people find it easier to communicate with people whilst others have other coping mechanisms, like I said.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
My point probably has nothing to do with what you just saidQuote:
Originally Posted by oli
But
Cutting isnt THAT scary i spose, Because you ddo it for relief, emotional relief instead of build up in your head. The build up can get so terrible and i dont know.
The scary part is what ACTUALLY CAUSED YOU TO CUT. That you felt so sad angry depressed worthless that you needed relief in the first place wether it be bullying, family issues. They all take a toll on you. Some people dont have parents to tell, Friends to trust, or even the courage. Cutting is a terrible thing, i think technically a mental illness because most of the time you cant stop. So by you calling the, idiots or ungrateful is rude, because theyre doing something to stop stress and actually try and cope instead of giving up
I think its more painful , I don't know about scary as some people aren't really afraid after they've done it once and adjust to that kind of habit. I have always found telling feelings to people much scarier than anything else.
lol no thats the worst excuse etc ever.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
sorry i killed you, but you can just buy a new life
I'm actually disgusted by your responses to this, ngl..
sorry i killed you?Quote:
Originally Posted by :Cerys
what are you on about...
your point was completely irrelevant.
genuinely completely irrelevant.
what im saying is that if your family doesnt love you and disowns u for example then there are people who you can go to, there are families with open arms who will take you in
not really.. the same applies to this.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
Ok so you drop a vase, it's smashed. You can pick up all the pieces and glue it back together but you can still see the damage. You can still see the cracks. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much help you get in fixing the vase it will always be damaged never to be fully repaired.
The vase is someones life obv, dunno if you can understand this..
get a new vaseQuote:
Originally Posted by :Cerys
yeah but you can't really get a new life can you mate..Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
Thats what shes saying, You cant buy a new life.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
Also buying a new vase would technically be giving up on picking up the pieces and making it look perfect again
Once you cut, its hard to give up
Its hard telling people feelings as Intersocial; Said
You GENUINELY dont understand.
no you can get a new life...
you leave your old life in the past, all your hatred n unhappiness
and you start afresh with new friends new family, a new life.
you can do that in a first world country
no, you cantQuote:
Originally Posted by oli
the damage is still there. you can never forget the pain you've been through.
No its not that easy for most people, its in your heady forever pretty much,you cant forget the memories, old times. And i hate to say it but if you cat you cant forget the scarsQuote:
Originally Posted by oli
Then don't cut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Quote:
Originally Posted by rihanna-cool
OK no. Yes you can get new friends and technically speaking what people call a "new life" as in changing the way you life your life. But you can't always escape your past. What is there isn't easy to forget. It's not just the past that causes people to self-harm, or hatred in fact. Some people do it and they don't even know why. Don't assume it's ******* easy to change what has happened.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
"Hey I'll just forget my abusive background, hey I'll just forget I got bullied, hey I'll just forget that my family doesn't love me". For the sake of it please read into this!
so @oli; if you got physically and mentally abused every day for 14 years, tormented, harrassed, beaten up and so on, you'd just be able to forget about it just like that and go somewhere else...
i really doubt it tbh.
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Originally Posted by oli
Ah yes, lets forget the reasons why people self-harm, lets forget people have triggers. lets forget people have gone through intolerable experiences. Honestly, stop bloody saying "then don't cut" when you probably have no idea how it is in the first place.Quote:
A person who self-harms is likely to have gone through very difficult, painful experiences as a child or young adult. At the time, they probably had no one they could confide in, so didn't receive the support and the emotional outlet they needed to deal with it. The experience might have involved physical violence, emotional abuse, or sexual abuse. They might have been neglected, separated from someone they loved, been bullied, harassed, assaulted, isolated, put under intolerable pressure, made homeless, sent into care, into hospital or to other institutions.
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But sometimes, ordinary life is just so difficult that self-harm is the only way to cope with it.
yes, i wouldn't remember all the bad things i would simply shut them out like i do now, i dont cut i just get angry @ every1 on habbo
if ur abused for 14 years, and you get a new loving family, you're going to forget all ur past sadness and you're going to learn 2 love ur new family
Oli, you are closed minded in a sake.
Many people deal with self harm and going back to your first statements of 'Their all idiots'
1) You have no idea what theyre going through, even though weve said many examples to you
2) There is alot of other ways to self harm other than cutting
3) Once you do it, Its hard to stop. I Dont want to admit anything but it is hard.
4) Open your mind up a little, you never know who could be hiding cuts or dark thoughts.
You're not going to forget something like that. My friend was abused for years. She still talks about it till present day because it saddens her. It's not easy. Stop thinking because something good happens to someone it automatically makes someone happy because it doesn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
if you're going to dwell on the past whats the point on living in the present, its a gift afterallQuote:
Originally Posted by Detective
In year 7, i got bullied and teased, and im ok i spose with the guy now, but everytime he makes a SIMPLE remark to me, it sparks a nerve in me and i can just burst into tears, and that was only littlE, Imagine some big things some people
---------- Post added 06-09-2013 at 08:14 PM ----------
Um.. You cant just forget it. Its hard. Mentally scarred...? Stuff that brought you happiness stays in your mind does it not?! So things that Caused most of youre sadness for a majority of your life WILL Stay for the MAJORITY of your life!
Oh for **** sake. It's not always the past which causes people to self harm. People dwell on the past because more than likely they might have not got closure.Quote:
Originally Posted by oli
Not everyone can be as confident as you, OK? People are different and you have to accept that and take that into account. Stop thinking that it's just the past that causes thing. Consider that sometimes it can be mental health reasons, stress, drugs. It's horrible trying to confide in someone.Quote:
Recent research focusing on young people suggests that 10 per cent of 15 to 16 year olds have self-harmed, usually by cutting themselves, and that girls are far more likely to self-harm than boys. The most common reason is 'to find relief from a terrible situation'. Young people are often under great pressure within their families, from school and among their peers. Many young people report having friends who they know to also self-harm.
The research suggests that young people who self-harm are much more likely to have low self-esteem, to be depressed and anxious. They seem to be facing more problems in life, but may be less good at coping with them. They may retreat into themselves, feeling angry, blaming themselves, tending to drink and smoke too much and to use more recreational drugs. They confide in fewer friends, and tend not to talk to their parents or other adults, or to ask for the help they need.
everyone should just be me
happy and proud of who they are
determined to live a happy life even if theirs is ****