Funny jokes for a change

Eurgh that pic's horrible!!!!!

A blonde, brunette and redhead are spending a day at the local spa. They all go to the toilets. Outside the ladies' a strange woman is sitting by a table. She points at the girls and says 'As soon as you walk in there you will have the power to get something you really want by saying something true to the mirror. Lie, and get pulled into the mirror for eternity'. So the girls walk in. The brunette goes over to the mirror and says 'I think I am the prettiest out of all of us' and a sackful of money lands at her feet. The rehead says 'I think I am the cleverest out of all of us' and gets bagfuls of expensive clothes. The blonde goes to the mirror and says 'I think...' and immediately gets pulled into the mirror.

(Sorry for the looooong joke :p)

haha tht is a good 1 rep added

how bout this 1 * a bit cheesy*

While my friend was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it? her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

Do not double post! Three times in one thread, might want to take a look at these. - :Illusion

Lol that's cool ;) I've got another one (kinda weird but hey ;))

A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm OK but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,' he answered. 'What did he say,' asked the nurse. The man says 'OOPS!'

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a red head, they are all in a potato factory, and they here the guards coming, so they each jump into a sack of potatoes, then the guard kicks the sack with the brunette and the brunette says 'woof' so the guard says 'its just a dog'. so then he kicks the sack that has the red head in it, and the red head goes 'meow' so the guard says 'its just a cat' then he kicks the sack with the blonde, and the blonde goes 'potatoes'....

Heh heh XD

English Man , Irish man , Scottish Man And A Welsh Man Are In A Boat

The Welsh man Dies

Scottish Man Says I Support Hearts So Ill Eat His Heart

Irish Man Says I Support Liverpool So Ill Eat His Liver

English Man Says Nothing For A Minute

Then He Says I Support Arsenal But Im Not Hungry

:p Its An Old One But I Like It





Another



English Man , Irish Man And A Scottish Man Are At The Top Of A Mountain

A Fairy Flys To Them And Says

'' Jump Off The Mountain And Yell Wat You Want And It Will Be At The Bottom Waiting, Unless You All Say The Same Thing And Go At Once Then you'll Get Triple The Stuff''

When She Leaves They All Pick Gold

All 3 Jump At Once Yelling Gold

Their Almost At The Bottom When The Fairy Returns

Yelling Omg I Forgot One Of The Has 2 Say Something Soft


And Its Not This Mountain It's That One Over There


:p Thank You , Thank You :D

ok i have to sensor this a bit

*and sorry mods if its still a bit to rude*

1) did u hear the one about the short-sited circumsizer? - he got the sack!

2) wot did the man say when a bird pooped on him? - s word!! (theres the censorship hope u still get it)

and the last of me bad jokes:

3) why did the man get sacked from his post at the banana factory? - he thru all the bent ones away!

there terrible i know lol

edit: and 1 more - arent u lucky?

did u hear about the fireman? he got fired lol :eusa_clap

well i like them

:eusa_danc
There was an English Man, Irish Man & a Scottish Man!
They are of the top of a hill and a genie says when you jmp of the hill you will land in wotever you ask for!

Irish Man says Money and lands in a pile of money!
Scottish Man says Soft Gold Pillows and lands in a pile of soft gold pillows!
English Man trips on a twig and says S*** and lands in a pile of S*** :eusa_danc

Sorry about the Swearing Mods!
:eusa_pray :eusa_pray
Don't Ban Me :eusa_pray :eusa_pray :eusa_pray

*Goes back to blondes*


How do u know when a blondes been on misrosoft word?
Theres tip-x on the monitor! :p

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the chickens foot!

xD
That beats all of ya!