Originally Posted by
FlyingJesus
It's so looooonelyyyyyyy round the fieeeeelds of Athenryyyyyyy
I tried not to like it but couldn't do so as a poet lol, only problem I have is the repetition of "and" at the start of almost a quarter of the lines. I don't know if that was intended in
And malnourished bodies pack coffin ships
And stumble across the step
And end up in flat green fields
For continuity or flow, which is a nice idea, but when used with "and" it does seem a little childish (refer to how a child talks of a day's events). Other than that, and even in spite of that, a good read.
ps: Australia is rubbish